Chapter 10 Ezra
Ten
Ezra
Ihate her.
God, do I hate her!
Fucking hate that she gets on my nerves, and hate the emotions she can arouse in me with simply a look. When I’m near her, I lose all the fucking control over my mind, body, and mouth.
Damn it!
But she’s stunning. My mind deems it important to remind me.
Fuck, don’t I know it, I agree with it.
I didn’t think I’d share so much with Ruby, that little girl who was worried about being different because she had weak eyesight.
But the fear on her face compelled me to unearth a part of me that I’ve kept hidden, if only to alleviate her distress. So, I did. I told her, and once she was okay, she was gone.
Kaeli’s proximity, more than the clicking of her heels, alerted me to her presence behind me. I turned to look at her, worried that she might’ve heard. But the moment my eyes fell on her, my heart skipped a beat or a hundred.
She was a vision.
Looking every inch a heartbreaker in her maroon suit, as her straight red hair cascaded down her shoulders in waves. God, I love her hair. I wonder what it would feel like running my fingers through them. Though her hair is not naturally straight.
My eyes rake over her hourglass figure and basically pop out seeing her sauntering toward me in a pair of red-bottom heels. A flash of her legs wrapped around my waist with only these fuck-me heels on runs through my mind.
Fuck!
My cock twitches excitedly in my pants. This is not something that should be happening while we’re surrounded by children. I stuff my hands in my pockets, barely restraining myself from hauling her to my chest and eating that red lipstick right off her lips.
Annoyed at her for looking like a fucking Goddess and angry at myself for noticing her, I hardly say a word to her. That’s until she decides to open her mouth. “What’s wrong with you? Got something stuck in your throat?”
“Just didn’t think you’d be interested in talking to me,” the words are out of my mouth before I can put a lid on them.
“Why would you say that?” She tilts her head as if trying to peel away all my secrets layer by layer.
“You were looking mighty comfortable and cozy talking to Seb there.” Somebody fucking stop me!
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks as if she has no idea what I’m talking about. She can’t be so naive as to think that I don’t notice their constant flirting. He’s got a nickname for her, for God’s sake.
Lili!?
Fucking Lili?
Who would even like that name? It’s so childish!
And she’s no less innocent, burrowing herself in his arms. When I saw them all cozy together, a bizarre sensation gripped me. It was as if someone was squeezing my heart, choking the life out of it.
I wished it were me instead of Seb, standing with such familiarity next to her. And I hated that I wanted that.
Ugh! I also want to punch Seb’s smug face. I used to like that kid. Not anymore, though. Now, he’s the top one on my shit list.
He kissed her! On her forehead, yes. But a kiss nonetheless! Or maybe it’s me she takes for a fool.
God damnit! She has reduced me to an envious jerk. I summon all the patience I’ve mastered in all these years playing hockey. “Never mind. Leave it,” I sigh, dropping it.
Only for it to be snapped into pieces when she utters, “So, you used to stutter, huh? I didn’t know.”
My gaze snaps to her. So, I was right to be worried. She heard me. And why would she know? It’s not like we’re long-lost friends or anything.
“What did you just say?” She opens her mouth to say something, but I interrupt her. “Oh, that was a rhetorical question. I heard what you said. Were you eavesdropping?”
I could hear how low the tenor of my voice was. But it didn’t matter to me when she could share what she heard and recorded in a second, laying waste to all the efforts I put in to keep it a secret.
It might seem childish to hide something like this, but I have not always been the popular kid.
I was also a scrawny little kid who was bullied for being the way I was.
I spent years trying to hide the fact behind the popular hockey player persona.
People don’t always appreciate and admire differences.
So, I did the only logical thing I could think of.
I threatened her. Not my finest moment, I admit.
Striding to stand close to her, so there was hardly any room even for air between us.
Which, in hindsight, was not a good move because all it did was make me notice her freckles, which she tried to hide with her makeup.
And when her coffee-colored eyes with flecks of gold and green–exactly like the one I accidentally spilled on her years ago–flit between my eyes and lips, I lose my Goddamn mind, asking her to use her words.
Words I would very much like to either kiss or fuck right off her lips. And because I’m about to do just that, I take a hard turn and stalk out of the room like my ass is on fire. Well, more like my whole body is with how the heat crawled over me, standing so close to her I could almost taste her.
Before I do something I know I’ll regret, I try to create as much distance between us as possible and distract myself until my dick gets the message and deflates.
God must have decided to show me some mercy because I find my parents getting out of their SUV in the parking lot. Yeah, that ought to do it.
My sour mood gets a little better at the sight of them. I jog up to them, and their faces light up at the sight of me.
I’m surprised when Andie steps down from the back seat. I didn’t expect my sister to attend the event, occupied with her own teaching stuff. But I’m glad she did.
I tightly hug my mom, resting my chin on her head as the tension gradually bleeds out. She barely reaches my chest, but her personality would never let you underestimate her. June Moore is a force to be reckoned with, even at five-foot-two.
She doesn’t know how to sugarcoat things, and so she has often made me question if she’s my mother or the brother I never had.
I can still see a few black hairs shining through the mass of gray bob cut. The wrinkles at the corners of her eyes indicate just how much she likes to laugh.
She squeezes me. “Ah, it’s so good to see you. We hardly get to anymore.”
My dad comes up and side-hugs me once mom takes a step back. “She’s right, son,” Jonah Moore seconds, as I glimpse into the same eyes as mine.
Guilt churns inside of me. They’re right. I’m lucky enough to be drafted into the team of my home city, and I should do better, and I tell them so.
“Oh, it’s fine. We know you’re busy,” he dismisses it with a wave, patting my back a couple of times.
Mom raises an eyebrow at both of us. “He can be busy after he meets us at least once a week. Right, darling?” she asks me, daring me to refuse her.
I chuckle at her attempt to intimidate me. Pulling her close to me, I sling an arm over her shoulder. “You’re right, Mom. I’ll do that,” I agree as we head inside, seeking shelter from the chilly air. My answer makes her happy, and her happiness makes me happy.
I stay back and look at Andie and raise my eyebrows at her when I don’t see her follow. “Why haven’t you hugged me yet?”
Andie walks into my open arms with a laugh. “Hey, Z.”
“Hey, kid,” I say as I bear hug her. Even though she’s twenty-three, to me she’ll always be the kid who used to follow me around like a puppy. I can’t believe how much she’s grown. “How have you been?” I ask, hating how much I miss out on during the regular season.
She pulls away as we start to walk inside. Nodding her head, she reveals, “Yeah, I’ve been good.” She puts her arm around my waist as I drape mine over her shoulder, walking behind our parents.
“I missed you,” I say, planting a kiss at her temple.
She squeezes my waist. “Me too.”
* * *
“Oh, June. You flatter me,” Noah chuckles with a shake of his head when Mom fawns over him and his goaltending skills. A hundred goalies on one side and Noah motherfucking Miller on the other. There’s no one like him, and I’m so fucking glad I don’t have to play against him.
After showing my parents and sister around, I’m currently standing with them and some of my teammates near the ice. At one corner, there’s a table with hot cocoa, some sweets, and cookies.
Some kids skate with some of the other players, as the cool wind blankets us all.
Dad pulls Mom under his shoulder, keeping her warm, thinking no one took note of that. But one look at Andie and my friends’ faces and I know they see what I see, too: love.
I don’t remember a time in my life when they weren’t like this. Sure, they fought and argued. I mean, which sane couple doesn’t? But they never went to bed without talking it out. Even if it took them all night, they would sort it out and make up.
Yeah, not to diss them or anything, but unfortunately, my ears have been subjected to some makeup efforts between my parents when they thought we were sleeping. Luckily, they don’t know that. And they never will.
Still, I crave that stubborn kind of love. The kind of woman who keeps me awake at night, but within whose arms I find my sleep. A woman who excites me and pushes me to be better than I was yesterday. Someone who’d be my own personal diary.
A woman with whom even the most mundane things would feel like an experience of a lifetime. But I’m not sure if I’ll ever find something like that. It’s not easy being an NHL player and finding people who love you for who you are and not for your status and everything it can offer them.
“She never lies, son. You’re great at what you do,” Dad reiterates, snatching me out of my depressing thoughts and causing Noah to look bashful while Seb, Oliver, Lucas, and Levi, our defense men, tease him.
Shaking my head at them, I take a sip of my sweet, hot drink. I glance at Andie and find her standing quietly, zoned out. I lightly nudge her shoulder to get her attention. With furrowed eyes, I whisper for her ears only, “Andie, you all right?”