Chapter 32
Thirty Two
Ezra
Why the hell did I not stay?
God, I’m fucking mad at myself for not being the kind of person she’d trust even when agitated.
Instead, like the moron I am, I went ahead and contributed to the said agitation. Earlier, when I impulsively strolled into her office, just because I wanted to see her, and heard her cursing ‘fuck me’, the side that loves to rile her up decided to make an inopportune appearance.
Honestly, that wasn’t something new for our dynamic. But what was new was Kaeli taking out real anger on me instead of just playing along and pulling my leg right back.
Sensing the tense mood, I should’ve kept my mouth shut or maybe even asked her what was wrong, but I got offended and insulted her right back. Which, in hindsight, was not a smart move.
Forget fucking hindsight, it was a glaringly wrong move. And then when she told me to leave, I did, slamming the door at that.
What I actually should’ve done was hug her, take her hand in mine, and ask her what was wrong so I could make it right. So, I could make it so that she won’t be stressed or angry or fucking sad.
Because that was what she really was, wasn’t she?
She was fucking sad.
I regretted opening my mouth when I saw her later, shooting videos of us in the rink with the saddest fucking expression I’ve ever seen on her face since I’ve known her.
She wasn’t this sad even when she thought she didn’t get the job all those years ago.
She didn’t glance my way once. Not once. Well, not beyond professional capacity. There was no fire burning in her eyes, no blush on her cheeks, and no energy even while doing her favorite job in the world.
That made me feel like shit for the way I behaved with her. Yet, that wasn’t what wrecked my heart.
What wrecked my heart and drowned it in an ocean of shame and guilt were her red, swollen eyes, which were proof that she had been crying.
She had been crying because of me, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Not in front of the team and the staff. I couldn’t drop to my knees and apologize like I wanted to. Not if I didn’t want to get acquainted with the tip of the heels she loves to wear so much.
So, even when every fiber in my being was protesting against the idea, I stayed put and concentrated on the practice to get through the day.
* * *
After half an hour of debating with myself, I jump out of my SUV and stride right for her house.
I ring the doorbell, like a sane civilian, but when she doesn’t open the door, worry starts to gnaw at me. Forging ahead like a raging bull, I start pounding on her door.
Sounds of hurried footfalls resonate from the other side of the door, and my shoulders drop in relief, the worry deflating just a little bit.
The door swings open, and there she stands, wide-eyed and out of breath, dressed in the shortest shorts she could find and a camisole, and it’s clear she’s not wearing a fucking bra as her peaked nipples poke through the flimsy material.
What if it were someone else at the door? Fury licks at the thought that she would open the door for anyone looking like this, all sexy and hot.
“What are you doing here?” She tilts her head in question.
My hand rubs the back of my neck, nervous to be put on the spot like this. I clearly didn’t think this through. I open my mouth to answer, but she cuts me off.
She stretches her hand in front of her and shakes it along with her head. “You know what? I can’t fight with you, not today. So, you can go,” she mutters meekly as her shoulders curl in on themselves.
I jam my foot in the door, hand reaching out to stop her from closing it. Without giving her a chance to protest, I walk in and shut the door behind me, while she looks at me, all befuddled.
Grabbing her waist, I yank her to my chest and hug. The first thing I should’ve done when I walked into her office today.
“What are–” she begins, unsure of what to make of any of it.
“Shhh and listen,” I tell her as I pick her up with a hand under her ass, her hands and legs wrapping around me instinctively.
Kaeli pulls back to look at me, but I press her face in the crook of my neck, her breath sending a shiver down my spine. “Don’t. I won’t be able to say everything I need to with your eyes on me.”
Acquiescing, she stays wrapped around me as I walk us to the couch and drop on it so we’re both comfortable.
I clear my throat and begin, “So, what I wanted to say is that I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for today. I’m sorry for being an asshole to you when it wasn’t warranted. I should’ve shown some maturity using the two brain cells I have, and asked you what was wrong, and instead I made you cry.”
Her hands tighten their hold on my t-shirt with every word as I stroke her back smoothly with my hand while the other massages her shoulders and neck. “Fuck, I’m so sorry for making you cry, Feather. I promise I’ll never make you cry again.”
After minutes of silence, she finally releases a sigh. “Can I look at you? Please let me look at you,” she whispers in the softest voice I’ve heard her speak to me in.
Fuck, if I’ll do anything if she asks me like this. So, relenting, I remove my hold from her shoulders and lean back on the couch, placing my hands on her waist as she sits on my lap.
Her gentle eyes roam over my face as her hand strokes my cheek, her scarlet hair falling over her shoulder. I lean into her palm, my eyes fluttering shut at how good her soft hand feels against my rough skin.
“Thank you,” she mumbles, and with that, she puts her lips on mine.
My hands drag her close, and tilt her head to kiss her sweet lips deeper. She releases a surprised moan, but doesn’t stop kissing me.
She licks my lips, and I readily open them for her tongue to stroke my mouth as it tangles with mine. Her hot mouth is the one in charge of this kiss, and I willingly submit.
This kiss isn’t like any other we’ve shared. This kiss is not rough or punishing. There’s no urgency in this kiss, no lust. Only understanding and care. This kiss is no less consuming, though. It might even be more so.
This kiss is acceptance and apologies. This kiss is a promise not to hurt the other one. This kiss parts the gloomy clouds of loneliness that hang over my head every day and threaten to drown me.
Out of breath and chest heaving, Kaeli pulls back. My lips follow her for a second.
She looks at me with a soft smile. “Thank you, Ezra. And I’m sorry, too.”
I rapidly shake my head. “You don’t have–”
She shuts me up with a finger to my lips. “Let me speak,” she sneers.
Stunned, I nod.
“Good,” she says, satisfied with my obedience.
Dick, don’t you dare twitch while she sits on you. This is not the time.
Oblivious to my conundrum, she wiggles in my lap to get comfortable and continues, “So what I’m saying is I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have taken out someone else’s anger on you. That wasn’t fair to you.”
“Give me their name, and I swear, and I’ll knock their teeth out for hurting you,” I grunt, my jaw clenching and my hands tightening on her waist.
She chuckles, her head falling back, “You’d hit Stacy and the entire senior PR team for me?”
“Stacy is your friend. I think you can handle her, so I won’t touch her. But the rest of the staff is fair game. For you? I will hit them. Just say the word,” I lay it out exactly as it is.
Her breath hitches as she stops laughing, searching my face for the barest hint of a lie. She can try all she wants, but she won’t find any.
“You’ll do that for me?”
“Anything for you,” I tell her, nodding my head.
Her brows furrow in confusion. “But why? I thought you hated me.”
My heart hurts a little at her words, but this is about her. “I don’t hate you, Kaeli. I never hated you. Have you seen yourself? I can’t hate you.”
The confession of how I feel hangs in the air for longer than I’d like. But I let her see the naked truth in my eyes, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear.
“But all those arguments, insults, and everything?” she asks, unable to believe me.
“Those were our thing, Kaeli. That was our dynamic: volatile, intense, and burning hot. I thought you knew that.”
“It was? I didn’t. People don’t really like me, so I thought you didn’t either,” she reveals in a voice so tiny that it looks misplaced on this confident and firecracker of a person.
“Oh, Feather,” I sigh, dropping my head on her shoulder. Her hand reaches out, and she scratches the nape of my neck, pulling at my hair lightly, making me hum in pleasure as I nuzzle in the crook of her neck, taking another dose of that intoxicating scent of hers.
Picking up my head, I hold hers in my palms and make her look at me. “I won’t lie. Sometimes, I did want to hate you, but only because I couldn’t hold you, or kiss you, or fuck you the way I really wanted to. So, it was less hate and more of sexual frustration,” I say with a shrug.
A smug grin spreads across her face at my declaration. “It was, huh? You were attracted to me, Ezra Moore?”
“From the very first moment I laid my eyes on you, Feather.”