Emery #2
I had Noah’s undivided attention, and my cheeks warmed at the realization. He normally avoided looking at me, which I’d grown accustomed to. Now, under his scrutiny, I felt shy. It was easier when Noah didn’t notice me.
“I just wanted the pressure to go away,” I whispered as I drew my feet up onto the seat next to me before I reached out and began turning my wine glass slowly on the table.
I glanced back up at him. “It was foolish to ask you. I’m sorry, and I hope that we can just move forward and forget it ever happened. ”
There. That should fix it. When I’d asked him, I’d meant every word, and if he’d accepted, I’d have willingly dove headfirst into a fake marriage with him.
But he hadn’t said yes, and I was desperate for things to return to normal.
I couldn’t live in a cloud of embarrassment for the rest of my life.
When he didn’t say anything, tears began to prick my eyes. I was exhausted. The pressure weighing on me felt insurmountable. The board. The business. Carson’s request. Being everything Timothy needed. I was tired and, for a moment, I wanted reprieve.
So why wouldn’t this man just speak up and at least grant me forgiveness for being so impulsive?
“You don’t want to fake a marriage?” His voice was low as he knit his eyebrows together.
I blinked. That had been the last thing I’d anticipated him saying. Hadn’t I made my stance clear already? And why did he look…disappointed? Was he okay with faking a marriage with me?
If it was never an issue, why had he left me hanging? Why hadn’t he just said, ”Sure,” and left it at that? It would have saved me hours of obsessing about how I’d made a fool of myself.
“I, um…” I wasn’t sure how to respond.
Want and need were two very different words. Did I want to fake a marriage? No. But did I need to? Yes.
“I think it’s my only solution,” I finally whispered.
Needing something to do with all of my pent-up nervous energy, I reached out and began to run my finger along the rim of my wine glass. My stomach was a bundle of nerves and drinking alcohol didn’t appeal to me anymore.
“But, of course, I’m only proposing it if it’s something you’re okay with. If you’re…available.”
I wasn’t sure how I was going to ascertain that he was, in fact, single since I didn’t feel right asking him point-blank.
I felt guilty for not already knowing his relationship status.
He’d spent enough time with me that, if he’d been anyone else, I’d like to think we would have had that discussion already.
With Noah, everything felt strained. But strained in a way I didn’t understand. He was standoffish, like being around me offended him for some reason. But besides a few interactions as teens, we’d never spoken. He didn’t even come to my wedding with Carson.
I was struggling to understand why he’d even taken this job.
Noah’s eyes were narrow as he studied me. It was like he was chewing on my words. Like my statement confused him. Then, suddenly, understanding flashed in his gaze and he leaned forward.
“I’m not dating anyone,” he said and followed that up with a quick, “I’m single.” Then he paused, his skin reddening. “If that’s what you’re asking.”
It gave me a small sense of satisfaction that he seemed to get flustered around me, too. That I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t get a grip on her emotions. Noah was always so calm and collected, it was nice to see that he could be thrown off-kilter once in a while.
If he was single, why couldn’t we fake a marriage? “Okay,” I said and nodded. “So…?” I was content with waiting for him to respond. After all, I’d been the one to initially make the proposal. I was going to let him take the wheel now.
He hadn’t said yes, but he also hadn’t said no. I was tired of trying to guess what his silence meant. I’d lobbed the ball into his court and was going to wait for him to toss it back.
He frowned as he dropped his gaze to the table and then brought it back up to meet mine once more. “What would a fake marriage entail?”
I took in a deep breath, fearing how my words were going to land.
He seemed open, which I was grateful for, but I was worried that as soon as I laid out the stipulations Charles had given me, Noah was going to slam the door of opportunity shut, and I’d be thrust back into the dating world.
My three failed attempts at flirting were desperately trying to tell me I didn’t belong there.
Facts. It was best to stick to the facts. I didn’t want him to feel like I’d trapped him into this arrangement by giving him half-truths.
“We have to get married. Like, legally married. And we have to stay married for three years.”
He deadpanned as his gaze remained trained on my face. I just sat there, waiting for his response. I half expected him to throw up his hands and stalk out of the room mumbling under his breath that I was crazy and he was out of here.
My entire body felt like a springboard. The seconds ticking by felt like hours.
This was too much.
But then he shrugged and sat back. He folded his arms across his chest and said the three words I never expected him to say, “Let’s do it.”