Emery
Noah brought me back to my condo after our meeting with Charles.
I sent a quick text to Cadbury to let her know that I wouldn’t be in to the office today, to which she responded with a thumbs-up emoji.
It was a little strange to see that as a response to a professional text, but she was young, and this was the day and age we were living in.
Our car ride had been silent, and that silence remained as we walked side by side through the parking garage. I was grateful that we didn’t need to keep up pretenses while we were alone, so there was no need for me to agonize over whether or not I should hold his hand.
Rule number two stated we would only touch when absolutely necessary. This was not one of those moments.
The condo was quiet when we walked in. Noah shut the door behind us and secured the deadbolt.
I made my way into the kitchen, where I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and then glanced back to offer one to Noah.
He was standing in the doorway, looking as if he didn’t know what to do or where to stand.
I hated that he was so hesitant around me. We were going to fake a marriage together. We might as well start getting to know each other.
“Water?” I asked as I held up the bottle I was holding.
Noah glanced at it and then dropped his gaze to the floor. “Sure,” he said.
I grabbed a second bottle and then pushed the door closed with my foot. I took a few steps toward him with the water bottle extended. He reached out and took it from me.
“Thanks,” he said as he cracked the top and took a drink.
“Of course.” I moved to lean against the counter. I opened my bottle and took a drink as well.
An awkward silence filled the air between us. Neither of us knew where to look or what to do next, so we spent what felt like a millennium glancing around the room. Unable to stand the quiet any longer, I decided to be brave and looked over at him.
“Want to go sit on the couch?” I asked as I straightened and nodded toward the living room. “If we’re going to do this, we might as well start getting to know each other.”
I tried not to notice how Noah’s face paled at my suggestion.
I knew he was a private person. He’d made that pretty clear since the moment he came into my life.
But there was no way I was going to go through my day-to-day tasks with a mystery man beside me.
If we were going to do this, I needed to know at least the basics about him.
I led the way through the kitchen and into the living room.
I forced myself not to look back to verify that he was following me and just trusted that he was coming.
I sat down on the couch. And after assessing where he should sit, Noah finally took the furthest spot from me on the love seat, which was perpendicular to the couch.
It was like we were two strangers forced to meet.
I pushed that thought from my mind and offered him a soft smile. I knew enough about this man to know that he wasn’t going to lead the conversation. I was going to have to take charge.
“So, Noah,” I said slowly as I leaned forward and set my water bottle down on the coffee table in front of me. “Where are you from?”
Noah was staring at his own water bottle. He was holding it in his lap, practically strangling it with his hands. I studied him, waiting for his response. Finally, he looked over at me.
“I grew up in New York. Once I graduated, I joined the Navy and moved to Illinois to attend NSW Prep.” He must have seen the confused look on my face because he quickly added, “Naval Special Warfare Preparatory School.”
“Because you were a Navy SEAL,” I offered. Carson had gone on and on about how proud he was of Noah for accomplishing such a feat.
Noah nodded. “Until I got injured and was discharged.”
My stomach squeezed at his words as I ran my gaze over his body.
He seemed to be okay. I’d never seen any visible scars, and he seemed capable of performing day-to-day tasks.
I wondered if it would be prying to ask him what happened, or if that was too intimate.
When I glanced up to meet his gaze, I saw that his eyebrows were knit together, and he was watching me.
“My shoulder,” he said as he rolled his right shoulder.
“Ah,” I said, my attention drifting to his arm. “Do you miss it?” I didn’t know a lot about the military, but I knew most took pride in serving. It couldn’t be easy to work so hard for something just to have it taken away.
Noah’s expression stilled as he dropped his gaze back down to his water bottle. He pressed the sides with his thumbs a few times, the plastic making a clicking sound. He sighed and glanced up. Pain was evident in his gaze. “Every damn day.”
A sense of camaraderie passed through the silence between us. We’d both lost something that we cared deeply about. We were both trying to move forward into a future that neither of us had wanted in the first place. We were both drowning in our own realities.
I’d lost Carson, and he’d lost his sense of purpose. They weren’t the same, but grief rarely was. We had both experienced loss, and it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears pricking my eyes. My heart ached for Noah, but it also ached for myself. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why did bad things happen to good people?
Noah brought his gaze up to mine. He held it for a moment before he looked back down. “You don’t need to be sorry.” He glanced at me again. “I’m okay.”
I sniffled and dabbed under my eyes. “Still, I’m sure it wasn’t easy.
” Why was I so emotional over this? Noah was still alive.
He was still here. It was ridiculous that I was crying over him being discharged.
I just knew what it was like to hope. What it was like to lose that hope.
I wished I could go back to the innocent belief that life was fair.
I was a better person back then.
Noah studied me before he set his water bottle down on the coffee table and stood. He said nothing as he turned and headed out of the room. I stared at his retreating back with my lips parted and my eyes wide. Where was he going? Had I made him uncomfortable with my tears?
I hurriedly wiped at my cheeks, scolding myself for being so emotional. This was not the relationship I had with this man. I’d been a fool to let myself get this weepy. I’d wanted a get-to-know-you session with my future fake husband, not a therapy session with my bodyguard.
I swallowed a few times against the emotions lodged in my throat, hoping that, with enough effort, I could come back down to reality. The last thing I needed was for Noah to spook, and suddenly I would have to explain to Charles and the board why I was no longer getting married.
If only Noah would come back and give me a second chance, I’d prove to him that he wasn’t hitching his wagon to an emotionally unstable woman. That this marriage was purely transactional, and I wasn’t going to break down every other moment.
The minute that passed between him leaving and his return felt like an eternity.
I’d already warred with myself about whether I should follow after him or run to my room to hide.
Thankfully, he didn’t look upset as he walked up to me, and it wasn’t until he held out a box of tissues that I realized where he’d gone.
My body was on autopilot as I reached out to take the box. “Thanks,” I whispered. I pulled out a tissue and then set the box on the couch next to me.
I quickly wiped my cheeks and my nose as he returned to his spot on the love seat.
He initially sat with his elbows on his knees before he leaned back into the cushions.
He was seated in a reclined position, but his body was anything but relaxed.
He looked like he was trying his best to appear comfortable but was failing.
“Thanks again,” I said as I folded the tissue over my finger a few times. If the tears insisted on flowing again, I’d be ready.
Noah just nodded and then shifted his focus to the coffee table.
I’d been in enough meetings and conference calls to be familiar with awkward lulls in conversation.
Normally, I could power through them with small talk.
But I couldn’t find the words to overcome the silence that had settled between us.
We were about to be married. We needed to be able to have deeper than surface-level conversations. I just didn’t know how.
My phone rang, pulling my attention. Grateful for the reprieve, I picked it up and glanced down to see that it was Charles calling me. Confused, I accepted the call and brought my phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I asked. Noah was staring at me, so I quickly mouthed, “It’s Charles.”
“Emery?”
“This is she.” I adjusted how I was sitting so both feet were planted on the floor and my elbow was resting on my knee to help prop up my phone against my cheek.
“This is Charles.”
“I know.”
He paused. “Great. Well, I wanted to invite you and…”
I waited, but when it became apparent that he couldn’t remember Noah’s name, I decided to step in. “Noah?” I offered.
“That’s right, Noah. I wanted to invite you and Noah to the charity gala I’m emceeing tonight. I think it would be right up your alley. The rest of the board will be there. It would look good to have our fearless CEO among the attendees.”
My frown got deeper and deeper as he spoke. Why hadn’t I been invited to this gala in the first place? Why was this the first I was hearing of it? I couldn’t help but feel he’d kept it a secret to keep me from going. Why would he do that?
“Did my invitation get lost in the mail?” I asked, trying hard to keep the bite from my tone but failing miserably.
When Charles didn’t respond, I feared I’d overstepped. I silently scolded myself for saying something. I was already on thin ice with the board. It would be a shame to lose my position because I couldn’t rein in my frustration.
“We just thought you would be busy with…other things.” His voice was low, and I took it as a warning that I needed to watch myself.