NOAH #2
I sighed. I needed her to speak. I needed her to get this over with so I could move on.
I walked over to the bed and sat down. When I glanced up, I saw that she was tracking me with her gaze with worry etched on her face which made me feel guilty.
The last thing I wanted was to make her assume that I was somehow frustrated with her.
I was just…frustrated with myself. I was angry that I’d let my feelings get away from me. I was supposed to be her fake husband. I’d promised that our relationship had a time limit on it. And not even a week in and I had to be the stupid one who fell for his fake wife.
“What do you want from me, Emery?” I asked, allowing my emotions to bubble to the surface and reflect in my expression. I was good at keeping people at a distance, but I couldn’t with Emery. I didn’t want to hide anything from her even though I knew my affection for her was not mutual.
If this was my last chance to be open with Emery, I wasn’t going to shy away. I was willing to crack open my chest and show her my broken heart.
“I…” She blinked. She knit her eyebrows together as she studied me. She was scared and I hated that.
Even though she’d knocked first, I decided to lead this conversation. I was tired of waiting and hiding. I was going to be honest with her. It wasn’t like it would change anything. She already had one foot out of my life.
“My door will always be open to you, Emery Torres. There is nothing you could do or say that would change that.” I spoke matter-of-factly to her. The truth was all I had left.
The furrow between her brow deepened, but she didn’t respond so I kept going.
“I want to be something more to you. You and Timothy are all that matter to me—you are all that will ever matter to me. I’d allowed myself to hope that maybe, you might feel the same, but I realized I might have asked too much of you.” I swallowed as emotions choked my throat.
I was such a fool. I was telling her that she was free to reject me, but my body language and tone of voice were saying something completely different. That I cared. A little too much.
She parted her lips, but I held up my hand. I needed to finish.
“Please, don’t ask me to leave. If you need us to go back to a fake marriage, I can do that. I’ll forget what happened last night. But don’t send me away. Please.” I held her gaze, hoping she’d see that I meant what I said.
She studied me, her eyes brimming with tears.
Great, I’d made her cry. That was not my intention. Relief would have been more palatable than tears. No one wanted to make a widow cry.
“I don’t want you to go.” Her voice was soft yet firm.
My ears had heard her words but my brain failed to process them. I stared at her. “What?”
She took a step into the room. She left the doorway and was now standing a few feet away. I wanted to read into her advance. I wanted to think that she’d come closer because she wanted to be near me, but my head refused to let me hope.
“I don’t want you to go, Noah.” She was more confident now. Her gaze was trained on me as she came closer.
“You don’t want me to go?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I might be in love with you.”
My entire body froze and all I could do was stare at her.
“I haven’t been able to sleep in since Carson died and with you, I can. I look for you when I enter a room because you make me feel safe. You didn’t run away when I asked you to marry me. You love Timothy and Timothy”—her voice did a little hiccup— “loves you, too.” Tears flowed down her cheeks.
I was standing now. There was no way I was going to let the woman I love cry without comforting her. But I also didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t ready. So I walked toward her until I was about a foot away. I would let her close the gap when she was ready and not before.
“I was just scared. Scared that in loving you, I would forget Carson. That moving on meant that I didn’t love him anymore. I wanted to keep his memory alive, but in doing so, I forgot how to live.”
“I don’t want you to forget Carson.” My voice broke. “I could never forget Carson.”
She met my gaze and held it before she slowly began to nod. “That’s one of the reasons why I love you. We both knew Carson. We both loved Carson. I would never let you forget him and I know you would never let me forget him either.”
I reached out and collected her tears with my fingertips. “We will never forget him.”
She nodded. “I’m not saying I’m fixed. I’m still very broken.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m scared.”
“Me too.”
She bit her lower lip as she studied me. “Maybe we can be scared together?”
I chuckled and nodded. “I think that sounds like a plan.” Then I stilled my expression as I met her gaze and held it. “I love you, Emery Torres.” I said those words with all the feeling in my chest.
A soft smile tugged at the edge of her lips. “I love you, too.”
I held out my hand for hers. When she gave it to me, I brought it up and pressed my lips against her skin.
Then slowly, I lowered down to one knee.
Even though the first proposal had been real on my end, I was going to make sure that she knew I meant what I asked by asking again. This time, for real.
When I glanced up, she was staring down at me with the biggest smile on her lips.
“Will you marry me?” I asked. Then I leaned in. “For real this time?”
She chewed her bottom lip before she began to nod. “Yes. Yes I will.”
I stood and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. I stared down at her, waiting for her to feel safe enough to make the first move. My heart sang as she rose up onto her tiptoes and brushed her lips against mine.
With her consent, I scooped her up so I could deepen the kiss. Our lips fell into a dance. We’d kissed before, some of them fake, some of them real. But this kiss felt true.
True because it was what we wanted.
True because I loved her and she loved me.
True because no matter what, we were going to be together forever.
For real this time.