Chapter Thirteen
Lulu
I didn’t remember dinner last night. Or much of breakfast this morning.
I sat at my little desk at the newspaper, my nails drumming an unequal rhythm as I stared at the small window over the door.
After I’d woken up last night, my head had been pounding again.
Gigi had made me one of her teas and, while I hadn’t known what to say to Zaldi, I hadn’t exactly begged him to stay with Grandpa glaring daggers at him across the kitchen.
I had wanted peace.
I had wanted quiet.
And the moment Zaldi had dropped a kiss to my forehead and slipped out, I hated every second of it.
Because, at the core of everything, I really just wanted him.
Only him. Maybe the conversation about being eternally fated and bound to a sex demon had rattled me a bit, but it had not taken away the need to be close to him.
Hell, sitting here now, I felt like I wanted it more. And while my mind was consumed with the reality of binding myself to another, my body actually tingled with the memories of the brief time we’d spent together.
Sighing, I pushed back from my desk and stood. My jacket was already in my hand as I headed to the door. Bruce eyed me, a small curl of his lips, “Early lunch?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, for the first time considering the man in front of me. “Are you…a guy?”
Bruce’s brows jumped and I rushed to clarify, “I mean, a human man. A man?” My throat itched with the strangeness of the words after I said them, but still, my body told me to wait, to see what he really had to say.
He’d been friends with my grandfather and grandmother for as long as I could remember.
And, if there were more people like Zaldi in this city then… why not him?
But Bruce laughed, the sound making me smile in response, “I knew that boy was going to open your eyes, but I didn’t think it would be that wide.” Bruce lifted his espresso to his lips, taking a noisy sip. When the silence hung between us I couldn’t help but prompt him.
“So are you, um, –”
“I’m male, Lu, and as for the rest, I’m not sure you’re ready to dive into all that. So, let’s keep the focus on the imminent problem.”
Male.
Not man.
Oh God, I was right, he was something else. I shook my head, “The imminent problem?”
“How are you going to get that boy back?”
I sputtered, “What?”
“Fated mates? Don’t be stupid, Lu. Most of our type would kill for the chance to have a bond like that.
Don’t throw it away because you think it’s too big,” Bruce’s face sobered, but the expression was fleeting, a smile quickly returning, “Plus, if he’s an incubus like I think he is, then he’ll be very good at making it fit. ”
I gasped, “Bruce!”
“Jokes aside,” the male put his coffee mug down. “Do you have a plan? Because, if he’s anything like I imagine, he’s going to believe that your disinterest means that he should stay away. He would never do anything you don’t want, so unless you–.”
“Unless I specifically tell him that I want this, he’s going to hurt himself staying away from me.”
Bruce nodded sagely, which any other day would’ve made me laugh out loud, but now, I only found myself nodding along. “He sounds like a good male.” His gaze met mine, “Don’t be scared now, Lulu.”
My eyes burned. Was I about to cry? How embarrassing! I sniffed quickly, turning towards the door. “I need to go, can you tell Grandpa?”
“That you’ve gone off to find your fated mate and tell him you want him? Or, that you’ve gone to lunch?”
I let out a strange half-sob, half laugh as I shoved the door open, “Whatever you think is best,” I shouted over my shoulder, hurrying down the street.
Something told me that Zaldi wasn’t going to be sitting around waiting on me.
He would be at work with his brother, so I quickly dodged the single car on the road and marched down Main Street towards city hall.
In the back of my mind, I’d thought I would magically have a plan by the time I got there, but now, I was standing at the door of the External Trade Agency, my mind painfully empty of the words I knew I needed to give to Zaldi.
Lowering my voice, I tried to talk it out, hoping the right words would come, “Zaldi, hi, I’m so sorry.
I just needed a minute to digest that you’re a sex demon who feeds on pleasure and who works for a second generation of devils in the Underworld.
” I paced another distance in the hall, then turned, pacing back.
“No, that’s not it. Zaldi, I care about you and I want to know more.
I want to understand all of this, including why I’m having vivid fantasies about being fucked against a wall… ”
I slapped a palm to my forehead, “Come on Lulu, you’re a freaking journalism major, what is a synonym for ‘desperate to see you again’?”
“Yearning?” A soft voice spoke from behind me, I leaped around, finding Bailey standing there, a small bag from Cup ‘o Joe’s hanging from her fingers.
“Bailey–hi,” I swallowed down the rush of embarrassment as I took a step closer to her, trying to act like I wasn’t horrified she’d walked up on me and my verbiage crisis.
She put her hand on the door, giving me a small smile, “Why don’t you come in?”
I started to follow her into the office, when I jolted to a halt, “Oh, um, is–?”
“Traum and Zaldi are meeting with some new ETA members. They aren’t here,” Bailey answered casually, walking into the office and flipping the lights on.
Unlike the last time I was here, boxes had been replaced by nicely organized furniture, a cheerful wall of photos from around Salus Glen and even a variety of houseplants.
“This looks great,” I commented, ignoring the soft laugh that Bailey gave as she dropped the bag on the reception desk, then turning, dropped her bag behind the chair.
“Thank you, we worked hard to get it ready. But, let’s be real here, Lulu, you’re not here to talk to me about furnishings.”
I didn’t speak, but after a moment, managed a nod. Bailey gestured to the closest reception chair. “Pull that closer,”
I did as she asked, smiling as she set a variety of the pastries on a plate she produced from under her desk. “You know everything then?”
“Oh, I mean….” I nodded again, “I guess so, yes.”
“Which means you know that Traum isn’t like us either.”
I blinked, suddenly realizing that I should’ve thought of that before I got here. Of course Traum would be an incubus like his brother. But then, Zaldi was more of an analyst, which means that Traum probably had a job too. “Are you two…like us then?”
“Fated?” Bailey took a bite of a muffin, chewing thoughtfully, “We are.”
I couldn't stop the strangled laugh that slipped out, “You make it seem so easy.”
Bailey snorted, a crumb falling on the table between us, which the woman quickly plucked up with her fingertip, “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.
But, being with a demon isn’t ever easy.
And I had my own hang-ups when I first met Traum, but God, Lulu, you have to understand that I’ve gotten to enjoy the rewards far longer than you have. ”
I stared down at the smooth wood of her desk, my vision blurring at the edges.
“They wait their entire lifetimes for this person, some pass without ever finding them. And, while being fated doesn’t mean that they’ll be a perfect partner, God knows that some mornings I want to throw Traum back in the Underworld, it does mean that he will breathe for your happiness.
And with work and care, they will be the partner you could’ve only dreamed of. ”
“What does that even mean? I wasn’t looking for someone–anyone, and now there’s him and, God, it’s so much.”
Bailey’s expression was thoughtful, “I wanted a home, a family, a center of my world that wasn’t constantly shifting. Unknowingly, at least from what I can tell, Traum has become that. And for him, it’s as easy as breathing. What do you believe you want the most?”
“I have no idea,” I said immediately, my words coming out in a rush, “And, if I don’t know, then how would he…”
“You do know, you just don't want to say it out loud. But hey, I’m just random, I don’t really care about what your thing is. Which honestly makes me the best person to tell it to.”
I stared at her, memorizing the way she offered me this bit of solace amongst the chaos of my mind. “I want to feel like I’m doing something bigger than myself. I want that so badly.”
“And Zaldi, how does he make you feel?”
I stared at her, remembering the way that he’d been there during college, quizzing me, helping me prepare. And now, the way he’d protected me, but let me lead, let me show him my word.
Bailey hummed, “Yeah, I thought so. Zaldi is a good male, Lulu. If you want to pursue something with him, take my word for it, it is worth it.”
My chuckle was watery, “Okay. Thank you.”
She grinned in response, and I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “How much of that, outside in the hall, did you hear?”
“Enough to make me wonder what kind of wall situation y’all have gotten into.”
We laughed together then, with me wiping under my eyes quickly as she handed me over a scone. A moment later, there were footsteps outside the hall, low, soft voices, one of which struck me straight down to my belly.
Zaldi.
He was here.
I knew he would be. I knew he should've been. But nothing could’ve compared with looking over my shoulder at the door and seeing first the curved horns, then the dearest face that I’d ever known turning to look at me.
“Lulu?” Zaldi’s expression turned worried in an instant, just long enough for me to stand and throw myself across the room and into his arms. My forearms wrapped around his neck, I pressed my face against his throat, letting my worried mind go slack.
“Z, I–.” And then all those words, all the thoughts I’d shared, all the emotions that Bailey had brought up flew to the surface. And I cried.
***
Zaldi