Chapter 07 - Mary
Mary
Catherine lifts her chin slightly when she says the words like she is bracing for impact, but my stomach only does a weird flip, and I gasp a little. Her eyebrows knit together, but before she can worry, I nod. Because I understand. Really understand.
I felt this pull into her orbit from the moment she commanded me to follow her.
It was the only thing that kept me standing in that moment.
My curiosity about what that feeling was exactly.
I’ve experienced attraction many times before, both physically and mentally, but this is something different.
As if I had been searching for someone my whole life, and when I saw her, my soul sighed and said, ‘finally.’
That feeling is too big to put into words, too fast and too soon, but it sits in the back of my mind, impossible to ignore. I nod again and smile softly.
“It would have haunted me too,” I admit softly, and she tilts her head.
“But you almost walked away.”
“Yep,” I agree. “Because I won’t stay where I am not wanted.”
“Even if it is where you want to be?”
“Those two cannot coexist. If I am not wanted, I have zero interest in being in that place.”
“An unstoppable force and an immovable object,” she mumbles under her breath.
“What?”
Her eyes dart back up to meet mine, and I make it a point to hold her gaze. I am not asking just to be polite, but because I really want to know. She smirks and nods as if she approves of that.
“There is a logical paradox that asks what would happen when an immovable object is met by an unstoppable force.”
I frown and hum. It doesn’t seem that paradoxical to me. If one is unstoppable, there cannot be such a thing as an immovable object, and vice versa. If they collided, one would either stop or the other would move. I huff out a laugh as I realize that’s why she referred to it.
“So, which one am I?”
“Definitely the unstoppable force.” She smiles, and her whole face lights up.
The soft lines around her sparkling eyes become visible, and her lips curl up just enough to soften the hard features of her face.
She must be the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.
Not just because of her looks—granted, she is smoking hot—but because I can see right past that frozen exterior of hers and into what she is guarding with her life. Her soul.
It’s only when her expression changes that I realize I’m staring at her, and I swallow hard. Her hand darts toward my arm, and she brushes her fingertips softly against it.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I say, nearly breathless. “God, yes.”
She frowns as I chuckle nervously and shrug. My cheeks are burning, and I can’t help but want to change the topic. I nod toward the curb, and we start moving again.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.”
My head snaps to the side, and she chuckles. The light sound catches me so off guard that I instantly chuckle too, the blush creeping further down my neck.
“Go ahead,” she says, chuckling again.
“It’s silly, really,” I backpedal, suddenly questioning my life choices.
“None of that. Out. Now.”
Her voice is still warm, but there is a firmness to it that makes me look up at her instantly. Her eyes are piercing and pin me into place. No room for discussion. I start to laugh nervously, but she just raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow. Oh shit, I’m in trouble.
“What made you text me?” I say softly, tempted to drop my eyes under her gaze.
She is quiet for a while, looking me up and down as she contemplates her answer. It isn’t a cold stare, not even an uncomfortable one, but it is enough for me to stay quiet. That’s new.
“My best friend took me out dancing,” she eventually says, “and I overdid it with the drinks. I am not usually like that, so it hit me pretty hard.”
I smile a little, slightly cocking my head.
“That’s what removed the boundaries.”
Her eyes shoot back up to meet mine, and the muscle in her jaw ticks as she swallows. I don’t stop there, though. I need to know.
“But I doubt you pulled my record in the middle of the night. Meaning you already—”
“I needed to know if you were okay, as your treating physician.”
“Except you cleared me.”
She clenches her teeth so hard that I can see her jaw work. Her fingers twitch at her side, and her eyes narrow slightly. She inhales deeply through her nose, making her nostrils flare. Her eyes are nearly blazing. I instinctively raise my hands, my open palms facing her.
“Listen, I am glad that you did. I wanted you to.”
She keeps staring at me, her expression frozen in place.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have texted you back. So… we’re good, right?”
Catherine nods slowly, a storm quietly brewing behind those dark brown eyes. Oh, how I wish I could look inside her mind.
“It was a silly question, but in my defense, I did warn you.”
I flash her a bright smile and chuckle softly. It sounds awful to my ears. Strained, high-pitched, and forced. It makes me flinch. She halts at that, and it takes me a step or two before I realize what is happening.
I frown and turn to face her. Her eyes are closed, and her hand is resting on her stomach, but even now, with her posture so rigid, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
My lip starts to tremble, and I have to sink my teeth into it to stop the movement.
Goosebumps erupt all over my arms, and a shiver runs down my spine.
Her eyes are unreadable when she looks up, but something in them pierces me right in that spot as she slowly draws closer.
“I needed to know that you would be okay. Not… not as your… doctor.” The word is almost inaudible, and her brows are drawn together as she wrestles with her admission. “I needed to know as me. As Cat.”
Her words trickle down my spine and settle somewhere inside my chest. The way she says her shortened name means something to her. It creates an itch deep inside my brain, trying to tell me something, but the moment passes so quickly that I barely have time to register any of it.
Catherine blinks and shakes her head as if she is stepping out of a haze. I straighten slightly now that she is nearly toe-to-toe with me, and I stare up at her expectantly.
“Why?” I whisper.
“Do you really need to ask?”
The certainty in her voice fires off a bolt of electricity in the pit of my stomach, and my heart flutters so fast that I feel lightheaded for a moment. Her fingers brush my elbow, making my head reel and drawing a soft whimper from my lips. The corner of her mouth tugs up, and she nods.
“That’s what I thought.”
***
07:41 p.m. – Katherina
Thank you for the coffee and the walk. It was pleasant.
07:46 p.m. – Mary Mary
Pleasant? Really?
07:46 p.m. – Katherina
It was not pleasant?
I chuckle at my phone and shake my head.
Today, I got a glimpse of the woman behind the mask.
Catherine wears her position as armor, hiding behind it to create a certain distance.
It probably helps her make tough decisions in the OR and regulate her emotions when something she can’t control happens to a patient, but it also makes her act like a stuck-up bitch.
Which, I have to admit, is kind of hot in its own way.
But now that I’ve seen her smile, genuinely smile, I know I want to see more of that. Addicted from the very first hit.
07:47 p.m. – Mary Mary
Are you even a real human, or am I just yapping to a computer right now?
07:48 p.m. – Katherina
1 attached image
The second the photo gets delivered, I gasp loudly. Did she just? And did I just?
My finger shakes as I open it, and her face appears on the screen. One of her perfectly shaped eyebrows is raised, and she looks right at me with an ‘are you fucking with me?’ gaze that makes me chuckle again.
07:48 p.m. – Mary Mary
Fine, fine! I guess we established that you are indeed human.
07:48 p.m. – Katherina
I had fun. Better?
07:49 p.m. – Mary Mary
Much. Tell me, though. Did it hurt, or could we do it again?
07:53 p.m. – Katherina
What makes you think I’m not a fun person?
07:53 p.m. – Mary Mary
Au contraire, I think you are, but you are just very good at hiding it.
07:54 p.m. – Katherina
Clearly not good enough if you’re already onto me…
07:55 p.m. – Mary Mary
Doctora! Did you just make a joke?
07:57 p.m. – Katherina
Looks like it. And please… call me Cat?
08:01 p.m. – Mary Mary
What’s wrong with Doctora?
08:01 p.m. – Katherina
Nothing.
08:02 p.m. – Mary Mary
Then why can’t I ca
My fingers freeze, and I stare at my screen for a brief moment as the realization hits me. The flash of her eyes, the slight flush of her cheeks, the way she swallows. Oh my god!
I instantly delete my message and bite the inside of my cheek.
What in the world am I going to do? A nervous chuckle escapes me, and I grin at my phone.
Do I tease her with this? She is so easy to rile up, and it is addictive.
Or should I ease up and give her what she’s asking for, at least for now.
I run both scenarios through my mind. Telling her I like calling her Doctora will get me more of those flushed cheeks, but it could also leave her feeling uncomfortable. It might push her away and… no, not worth it.
08:06 p.m. – Mary Mary
Cat it is! But tell me one thing…
08:09 p.m. – Katherina
Thank you. What do you wish to know?
I can’t help but roll my eyes at the formality again, but another part of me is smiling. This is her default setting for the outside world, but she’s already let me see what’s behind that mask. I know she will do it again, so there is no need for me to push it. You don’t chase, babe, you attract.
08:10 p.m. – Mary Mary
Why does it say Katherina?
08:10 p.m. – Katherina
Because that’s my name.
08:10 p.m. – Mary Mary
I thought it was Catherine?
08:10 p.m. – Katherina
It is.
08:11 p.m. – Mary Mary
Wait, what?
08:11 p.m. – Katherina
Katherina is my birth name, but when my parents and I moved to the States, they changed it to Catherine to better fit the English language. My loved ones call me Katherina, though.
08:12 p.m. – Mary Mary
I like that… Katherina. It is a beautiful name.
08:12 p.m. – Katherina
Thank you. What about you? Why Mary and not Marilouise?
I stare at the message for a beat. Of course she’d ask. It only makes sense. So, why wasn’t I prepared for it? And why does it still cut so deep?
08:12 p.m. – Mary Mary
Marilouise is a ghost from my past. It is not who I am, or who I aspire to be. I can’t change where I come from, but I can decide where I go. And I choose to do so as Mary.
08:12 p.m. – Katherina
Mary it is!
My eyes go wide, and a chuckle escapes me. Another joke?
08:13 p.m. – Katherina
And yes, you are right. You are in control of your choices right now, and each one will shape your future. When you are aware of that, you can make more deliberate choices.
I smile and nod at my phone. Not that she can see it, but maybe somehow she can feel it.