Chapter 23 - Mary
Mary
The strap of my summer dress twists around my finger as I gaze at myself in the mirror.
I don’t wear it often, but it just seemed so fitting for today.
The light green matches the spring theme in Devina’s latest book, and the dress is perfect for the restaurant.
Nothing too formal, but not overly casual either.
Looking nice without the effort. Except it took me four outfit swaps and about two thousand steps in pacing before I settled on it. And even now, I’m not sure.
My eye falls on the ivory silk top I tried on before this, and my fingers itch to grab it.
But before I can change into yet another outfit, I hear a soft knock on the door.
My heart leaps into my throat, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
Fuck, I haven’t even put on makeup yet. I quickly glance at the mirror one last time before rushing toward the door.
“Coming.”
I am already full-on smiling when I swing it open, but as soon as I see Cat’s umber eyes, my smile grows even wider.
She looks absolutely stunning in black slacks that end mid-calf, high heels, and a black blazer with a low-dipping V.
My eyes instantly trail down her chest, and I feel the warmth creeping up my neck.
When Cat lets out a soft cough, my gaze snaps up toward hers instantly.
The blush spreads to my cheeks, and my eyes widen in shock at her catching me ogling her.
I am just about to apologize when she steps closer, with her eyes still trained on me.
Her jaw is set, but when her fingers find my jaw, I know she is feeling anything but cold.
I instinctively lean into the touch and hum softly as she guides my face closer toward hers.
Her lips are soft and warm, and they brush mine far too quickly.
She has already pulled back before I can even respond.
“Hi.” She smiles, her breath ghosting my lips.
“Mmhi.”
I can barely manage the reply, and Cat lets out a soft laugh at it.
Her thumb traces over my cheekbone, and she presses her forehead against mine briefly before stepping back altogether.
The sudden loss of her warmth confuses me, and I look up at her in question.
The answer is already there, in the way she gazes at me.
The heat pulsates behind those dark eyes, her lips slightly parted, and her breathing a little faster than usual.
Something in me unclenches, and I find myself swiveling nervously.
“Do you… would you…” I let out a huffed laugh and close my eyes, shaking my head at my nerves. “Do you want to come in?”
Cat’s gaze drops down to where a delicate watch sits on her thin wrist. She frowns, and her eyes flick from left to right and back as if she is debating herself.
“We only have a few more minutes.”
Her voice is strained, and she looks at me so seriously that I go quiet for a beat.
I can feel it, the battle within her. Part of her wants to give in and step into the safety of my apartment, but another part of her doesn’t like it if her schedule is interrupted. I wouldn’t like her to feel nervous.
“Absolutely true. Let me grab my purse, and then we can go.”
She nods, and I can see her visibly relax. I smile, stand on my tiptoes to press a kiss against her lips, and then turn around to grab my stuff from the hallway table. When I am about to close the door behind me, Cat raises one eyebrow, which makes me stop dead in my tracks.
“Maria…”
Her voice is a low rumble, and I feel the hairs on my arm stand up as she very deliberately drops her gaze down my body.
My teeth wrap around my lip as I feel a warm sensation in my body.
When Cat’s eyes flick up to mine again, there isn’t just a flicker of amusement in them, but something more. Deeper. Endearment.
“Shoes too, please.”
My brain short-circuits for a moment, and I look down, stunned, only to see my bare feet. Walking barefoot comes so naturally to me that I didn’t even notice.
“Oh,” I whisper, and Cat huffs softly, but when I turn to move inside, she grabs my wrist and pulls me tightly against her.
“Oh,” she echoes, and lets her thumb trace the outline of my lips.
And just like that, she steps away again, a soft smirk playing around her lips. Is she fucking teasing me? She raises her eyebrow again, and nods toward my apartment.
“Go on, then.”
And on I go.
***
My eyes grow large when we walk toward the bookstore.
There is a line of buzzing readers that curves all the way around the corner of the block.
I swallow hard, before I shyly gaze up at Cat, who is taking it all in.
Her face is as calm as always when she walks us toward the front of the line.
I start to stutter a protest, but her eyes flick to me, and she gives me a wink.
Her grip on my waist tightens slightly, as she tucks me closer against her, and she walks up to the tall, broad man guarding the door.
“John, good afternoon.”
“Doctor Durand.” He says friendly, his voice surprisingly high for his heavy frame.
“How is Melissa?”
“Just wonderful. She would love it if you came by for dinner sometime.” His eyes flick to me, and his smile widens. “You are welcome to bring a guest,” he chirps as he looks back at Cat.
She returns his smile and slightly inclines her head in a soft nod. Then she beams back at me.
“Mary, this is John. I went to school with his wife, Melissa. John, this is Mary, my—”
Her breath pauses as her eyes search mine, and I feel an unexpected flip of my stomach. My tongue darts out to wet my suddenly dry lips as I nod shyly at her.
“My girlfriend.”
As soon as she says it, the cold air around us flows into my lungs and rushes straight to my head. I feel high before I can even blink, and I feel my face bask in the glow of that word. Cat lets out a huff so softly that it is barely audible. But that’s okay. It is only meant for my ears.
“Yeah,” she hums, close to my ear, as if she likes the feel of it in her mouth.
Her girlfriend. I feel like I am floating. A giggle bubbles up in my chest, and I feel my cheeks both running hot and cold at the same time. My stomach swoops as I look at her, all the air stolen from my lungs. And yet… I’ve never felt so alive.
John’s face splits open, and he flashes us a perfect set of pearly white teeth.
He is about to say something when there is a light tap on the door window behind him.
Tessa waves at us from inside and then makes a ‘come on in’ motion at me and Cat.
I look expectantly at the bear of a man, who lets out a knowing hum.
He presses down the door handle and creates enough room for Cat and me to slip inside while nodding in a friendly way at me.
I can only smile back. Still floating, my heart still stuttering.
Her girlfriend… oh… my… god… Her girlfriend!
Cat’s hand finds the small of my back, and she softly guides me toward the opening, following closely behind me. I enter a little hesitantly, but am pulled into a spine-crushing hug by Tessa before my mind can spiral.
“Mar, you made it,” she exclaims in my ear. “Oh my gosh, I told Ven I’d hoped to see you today, and here you are. She’s already in.”
“Huh?”
I am pulled out of my haze, and my brow furrows in confusion. Of course Venetia is already here. She doesn’t just own the shop but the apartment above it as well. What is so special about that?
“Devina.” Tessa grins as she sees my face. “Do you want to meet her?”
For the first time since we stepped in, Tessa’s eyes flick from me to Cat, and I see a flicker of recognition in them. But when her gaze lands on me again, she gives absolutely nothing away.
I am too stunned to speak. I’ve been following Devina since her second book came out nearly ten years ago, and she’s one of the reasons I started writing again.
And even though my work isn’t even close to being in her league, I like to compare some of my work to her earlier stories.
Especially the ones in which she wove mythology in with everyday struggles.
For some reason, those hit home extra hard.
My body buzzes with excitement, and I bounce a little on the balls of my feet, trying to regulate the sudden surge of energy when Cat’s thumb finds the base of my neck and softly presses against it.
Her touch, however simple, grounds me, and I turn my face toward her to beam up.
She smiles back at me and nods gently, spurring me on. Go on then.
“I would love that,” I breathe on an enthusiastic exhale, matching Tessa’s energy, and the barista squeals out of sheer joy.
“Oh, fantastic! You will love her,” she exclaims as she takes my hand and pulls me with her. “Seriously, Mar, she is so nice.”
I listen to her with half an ear, my focus on the woman two steps behind us. She really is here, with me. My girlfriend. My heart flutters again, and my cheeks hurt from the way I am smiling. This is the best day ever.
***
“Yes.” Cat nods once, determined. “This is by far the creamiest labneh I have ever had.”
She rips off another piece of flatbread to scoop up some more before rolling her eyes in ecstasy.
I feel my chest swell a little at her enjoyment.
This restaurant is almost the opposite of the Cuban one we went to a few weeks ago.
It’s quieter. There is soft music playing, people speak in hushed voices, and plates of food are being shared.
But Cat seems to feel right at home here too, just like me.
“So, tell me a little more about yourself. Why did you move here from Belgium?”
I wince. It was inevitable that the topic would come up, but I hate talking about it. I shrug lightly and bite my lip.
“My parents have always tried to dictate my life. They planned to manipulate me to marry some—” I cut myself off and shake my head. “Anyway, when my grandfather passed away, he left me a small fortune. Enough to start my life over somewhere safe. Somewhere where I can be myself.” I smile at her.
The candlelight flickers over her face, bathing her in a soft glow and making her eyes sparkle. She is absolutely stunning, and I am not even sure if she knows it. She tilts her chin at me as she swallows her bite and smiles back.
“And here we are.”
It is as if she can taste my disease and changes the topic so gracefully that it makes my heart leap.
“Tell me, what did you like about la escritora?”
“Devina?”
“Hm-mmm.” She nods.
“Well, I like that she was so approachable, for starters.”
Cat nods. Devina had been warm and friendly when Tessa introduced us.
She was already well into her sixties, about a decade older than I had expected, and her silver hair had framed a soft, round face.
She just oozed comfort and a certain maternal familiarity that my body instantly recognized even if my mind had zero memories to match it.
“Sí, she was muy amable, but you already liked her before we went.”
Oh. She isn’t just asking about today. I shrug sheepishly at her and nod, a soft blush creeping onto my cheeks.
“Well, when I first came to the States, I didn’t know many people,” I offer her softly, my stomach constricting slightly at the memory.
“But there was an older woman, Suzanne, who took me in. I rented a room from her, but she seriously undercharged me. I think she needed the company as much as I did. Or at the very least, she enjoyed it.”
Cat nods softly, her expression softening as she listens to my story.
“She was a retired psychologist and had a knack for reading people.”
I chuckle fondly, and Cat’s lips curl up. She gives me a small nod as if she wants to tell me to continue.
“She knew I loved reading. I told her that. So when she gave me Devina’s book A Sun Child Doesn’t Cry, I was elated…”
I trail off for a moment, and Cat instantly catches it. Her fingers brush against the inside of my wrist, and she moves her head slightly closer to mine to look me in the eye.
“What happened?”
“She didn’t just give me the book. She… she left me a message in it.”
“Oh?” Cat slightly tilts her head, gazing at me with curiosity. “What did it say?”
My throat bobs as I recall the words, and what they have meant to me over the years.
I’ve never told this story to anyone. Nobody seemed to care.
Nobody ever asked. But Cat is here, listening intently, and suddenly I feel a surge run through me.
An overpowering want to share this part of me with her.
“My dearest Mary,” I quote. “A path that starts out in the neck of the woods can seem wild, overgrown, and daunting at first. But it will lead those who are willing to stay on it to the most beautiful places. Places only the blessed will see.”
I pause and look at Cat, whose eyes are still on me. She waits, so I continue.
“Don’t let those walking a concrete road tell you how to navigate your track.
Use your inner compass to guide you. It has brought you to this moment, after all.
” I huff softly as I add the final note with a smile.
“I hope this book rekindles your love for writing, so that the fire inside you may burn bright yet again.”
Cat goes quiet for a while, but I see how she takes in the words. Their meaning. A small frown appears, and she blinks, her eyes suddenly present and sharp again.
“You told her you were a writer.”
I shake my head and smile.
“Nope, but Suzanne knew.”
Cat nods, almost satisfied with that answer.
“Sí. That tracks. She looked at you to see you, querida.”
I blush and drop my gaze, but Cat won’t have it. She lifts my chin with her index finger and smiles at me.
“Please, let me see you.”
My belly flutters, and my chest expands. I nod slowly, because yes. I want her to see all of me, even if that thought should terrify me, because for some reason… it doesn’t.