Chapter 30 #2
His gaze heated as he leaned in, but he stopped just inches away from my lips and hovered there for a moment.
I couldn’t decide if he was giving me a chance to pull away or testing himself to see if this was really what he wanted.
If he thought I might have found some sense in these last few minutes, he was sadly mistaken.
Didn’t he realize my heart and my head had lost all reason when it came to him?
Like two waves finally reaching the shore, we crashed together with unstoppable certainty. It was as though we were two magnetic forces being denied each other and finally succumbing to the pull that constantly drove us together.
All it took was one brush of his lips against mine, and I knew there was no going back.
I kissed him deeply and without thought, completely swept up as I felt his hands circle around my waist, pulling me closer.
He kissed me as though he had no lingering doubts and with the kind of determined intensity that left me with no option but to give in to him.
And I was more than happy to surrender. My mind, body, and soul had all rebelled against caution, and even if I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t walk away.
I’d toyed with the idea of Noah. I’d known he was a bad idea. And that was before he had kissed me. His kiss was both the worst and best kind of torture because I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to give him up now.
“Isobel,” he groaned when he finally pulled away. His eyes burned like they were consumed by fire, and as he looked at me, I felt as if the blaze had spread to my skin.
How could a guy make you feel this way just by looking at you? How could someone’s lips completely erase your mind of all thought?
He took a small step away from me. It was the smallest of gaps, but with it came the ability to think clearly once more. It was like my brain had been deprived of oxygen and suddenly took a gasping breath in.
“I don’t want to break your heart,” he said. “I can’t promise you forever, but I can promise you our differences won’t tear us apart. If anything, I think they might be what keep us together.”
“You really think that?”
“I do. But, even so, you should know I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I’m not very good at trusting people or opening up. I want a relationship with you, but I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”
“Then don’t hurt me.” I’d been prepared to walk away from him, but after that kiss, I wasn’t sure if I could. I’d never felt that kind of passion before, and I didn’t think I could simply ignore it now that I knew it was there.
He let out a humorless laugh. “You make it sound so easy. I can only control so much of my life.”
“But you can control your heart.”
“I’m not sure I can anymore,” he said. “Not when it comes to you.”
I closed the distance between us once more. Screw being able to think straight. I was tired of trying to do the logical thing. Especially when there was nothing logical about Noah and me. We made no sense together, but sometimes the best things in life came from the least likely of places.
“Are you sure about this?” he said as I drew close. “Don’t kiss me again unless you’re all in. You’re not the only one who doesn’t want to get hurt …”
I gave myself one breath to reconsider. One moment to try to talk myself out of it. But it was too late, and I was too far gone. I’d been falling for Noah since the moment I’d fallen on top of him in the woods.
I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. We were never going to stop this relationship from failing if we gave up before it even began. “I’m all in.” I kissed him again.
I could feel his smile against my lips as he kissed me back. “Does that mean you’ll come to the White Ball with me next weekend?”
“Only if you’re prepared to hobble out of there at the end of the night. I’m a terrible dancer.”
“That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” He chuckled. “Who needs feet when I have you?”
*
Noah and I had to rush as we made our way back from the beach to the café. We’d both gotten a little caught up in our beachside kisses and had completely forgotten the time.
“It was really nice to meet you,” Noah said to my mom as we exchanged goodbyes. He held out his hand to her, but Mom pulled him in for a hug.
“I hope we see you here again soon, Noah,” she replied.
He was smiling as she released him. “I hope so too,” he added before turning to me. “Take your time. I’ll wait out by the car.”
“But we’re late for the plane,” I said.
“It can wait.” He winked at me and then smiled, which set my heart racing. I couldn’t seem to stop looking at his lips. Had I really kissed them? It felt like it was a dream.
“See. Totally crazy about you,” Mom said as Noah closed the restaurant door closed behind him. “And I think you might be crazy about him too.”
My cheeks warmed as I realized I’d been staring after him. “He asked me to be his girlfriend on the beach,” I said.
“That’s lovely.” Mom smiled and nodded, but she didn’t seem as excited as I might have expected. She seemed more cautious.
“Why do I get the feeling you’ve got more to say about this?” I asked.
My mom sighed, and she looked a little defeated, like she’d much prefer to keep her thoughts all bottled up.
“I am really happy for you both,” she said.
“I just want you to be careful. He comes from a very different world than you with all those expensive things. A relationship with him won’t be as easy as you might think. Trust me, I know.”
“You’re talking about Matthew, aren’t you?”
She slowly nodded. “Your father and I had a whirlwind summer romance. He tried to charm me with expensive dinners and luxurious gifts, but I wasn’t really interested in those things.
I was only interested in him. He was funny and handsome and the sweetest boy I’d ever met.
We had a wonderful time together, but when the summer ended, reality hit. ”
“What do you mean?”
Mom hesitated, and I could see she was finding it hard to dredge up the past. “Matthew had to return to college, and he invited me to come with him. I thought about it a lot, and a part of me desperately wanted to go. It would have been so easy. He was going to pay for everything to make it happen. But I’d visited his home already and seen the life he led.
I knew I would never fit in there, so I stayed here. ”
Her eyes fell to floor as she recalled the memory, and it was hard to read her emotions. I couldn’t tell whether she regretted the decision or not.
“A few months after he left Rapid Bay, I found out I was pregnant with you.”
“What did you do?” My mom rarely spoke about Matthew this openly, so I was hanging off her every word.
“It was Christmas by then,” she continued. “I went to visit Matthew at his home in New York so I could tell him about you. I had a whole speech planned and everything, but the moment I rang the doorbell, I forgot everything I wanted to say.”
She laughed and shook her head at the memory, her gaze still dipping low rather than meeting mine.
“Thankfully,” she said. “Matthew wasn’t there.
I was almost relieved at the time because, with all the pregnancy hormones rushing through me, I would have been a blubbering mess if I’d had to tell him in person.
So, I chickened out. I wrote everything down in a letter, left it with his butler, and came home. ”
“And …” I prompted her.
“I received a note in response.”
“What did it say?”
“I can remember it word for word.” My mom’s eyes closed as though she was trying to shut out the memory. “It just said: Candice, this is all I can offer you. I’m sorry. Goodbye. There was a check in the envelope.”
“You’re kidding me?”
“I wish I was,” she said, shaking her head. “Of course, I tore both the note and the check to pieces. I was devastated at the time, but it didn’t take me long to realize that it was probably for the best. I knew I didn’t belong in that world, and I’d made the right decision to stay in Rapid Bay.”
She was standing taller now and looked directly at me.
“Once you arrived, I was so in love with you that your father’s presence in your life didn’t matter to me anymore. The last seventeen years haven’t always been easy, but I wouldn’t trade a moment of that time for anything.”
My mom stepped forward, and I opened my arms to pull her in for a hug, squeezing her extra tight.
I wished it hadn’t taken me escaping from school on a private jet and Noah becoming my boyfriend for her to finally tell me what really happened between her and Matthew, but I was glad she had.
It was probably a good thing she hadn’t told me sooner, or there was no way I ever would have agreed to meet with my father.
“How am I supposed to pretend I don’t hate his guts after learning this?” I asked when I pulled back from my mom’s embrace.
“I didn’t tell you this to make you angry with him,” she said.
“And there’s more to the story. I think you need to hear your father’s side.
I just wanted you to have your eyes open when it came to the kids at this new school.
People who have the kind of money your classmates grew up with come from a very different world to us. ”
“Noah’s not like that,” I said.
“I’m not saying he is,” she agreed. “I just want you to be careful and go into this relationship with a clear head.”
“Okay, I will.” Even as I said the words, I had to wonder how honest I was being with myself. I’d already abandoned a whole lot of caution when it came to Noah. Was I already being too reckless with my heart?
I knew Mom had been burned before, but that didn’t mean a relationship with Noah would end just as badly.
Still, I couldn’t help but look at him in a different light.
Was Noah the kind of guy who thought he could make his problems disappear with a check in the mail too? I hoped I never had to find out.