Chapter Four
Jack held Madelaine’s hand as a whirlwind of emotions spun through him. Just holding her hand brought everything back. Their love. The dreams they’d shared. The future they’d planned. But it was all gone.
He’d loved her like no other. They’d met in their sophomore year of high school, when he was transferred into her class because his had too many students. He might have eventually met her some other way, but for him, it had been fate.
Madelaine was seated in front of his assigned chair.
When he’d walked toward it, he’d scanned the other students in the row and fixated on her. He had to pass right by her to get to his seat. She looked up at him, returning his interested gaze and he’d almost stumbled. She smiled and a choir sang in his head.
Before he even sat down, the teacher had told Madelaine to help Jack find the right page in the science book they were studying. She had turned in her chair and smiled the whole time she helped get him ready for class.
After class, he followed Madelaine to her locker for the extra handout she had detailing the class syllabus, including the Thursday science labs for the semester. Yes, he could have gotten it from their teacher, but preferred that Madelaine gave it to him instead.
From that day forward, they’d been inseparable. They’d graduated from high school and gone on to college together—until she abruptly left the planet for a significant familial opportunity that she couldn’t turn down.
Yes, he loved her like no other woman he’d ever met. Then and now.
But he couldn’t trust his heart to her. Couldn’t go through that unrelenting pain again. He wouldn’t. Nope.
Jack released Madelaine’s hand and willed his arm not to move to reconnect. The battle not to touch her began in earnest. Head and heart, with advice from his soul, told him to keep this professional. He would help her like he’d help any other friend or relative.
He didn’t know if he could be friends with her, but he was about to make the attempt.
She had once been very important to him and their shared experience meant something to him.
He couldn’t turn his back on someone he’d loved so deeply.
He wouldn’t let the way they parted turn him into someone he wasn’t.
He refused to be bitter.
So, Jack put up a shield around himself, vowing to help her, but remain wary of his more ardent feelings. Those he’d bottle up and shove aside for the time being, maybe forever.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked, and wondered if he was ready.
“Yes.”
“Do you have transportation? Or are we hitching a ride with Cyberpunk Chick, wherever she is?” He turned his head, searched over his shoulder.
Her gaze narrowed in confusion before she smiled in understanding. “Oh, Seraphina. No. I have my own ride, a rental. And she’ll close up this house when she leaves.”
He watched as she squeezed the hand he’d held into a fist. Maybe she wasn’t unaffected by a mere handshake. Still, his guard went up and stayed in place.
“Let’s go.” Jack wondered if he should contact any of his brothers regarding this sudden trip he was about to make to Suspicion and the Secret Keeper to help an old flame.
No. Better to ask forgiveness than seek permission. Aunt Dixie’s favorite credo came in handy for more than just her fundraising needs and the trouble she always seemed to get into with his eldest brother, Diesel.
Because of tonight’s bachelor auction, Jack had taken the next three days off.
Jack figured—depending on who bid on him—he might need a few days to recover from the trauma.
Now, that meant he’d be able to go on this unexpected trip to Suspicion without having to alert anyone to his plans or his general movements.
Little did he know when he booked the time off what kind of ordeal he’d face, spending time with someone he loved, but couldn’t have.
Jack shoved that notion to the back of his head and thought about the trip. He and Madelaine could drive straight through to Suspicion and make it back to Alienn before he had to ask for any more time off.
Since his immediate supervisor, Cam, was on leave for several more days, Jack would have to get permission from Axel if he needed more time off.
That meant he wouldn’t have to explain as much. Axel would likely grant him the vacation without a single question, instead of the third-degree Cam usually gave him for any request, no matter what it was.
“We’ll need to swing by my house so I can pick up my go bag,” Jack said.
Madelaine, clearly surprised, asked, “You already have a bag packed for this trip?”
“Not exactly. I just have a standard bag packed and ready to go, in case of sudden travel, like an unexpected trip to Suspicion.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.” Madelaine moved through the living space into the hallway and toward the front door. He followed her out to the porch, noting her movements seemed different than when he’d known her.
She moved like a soldier, silently marching, instead of the slower, easy gait she used to have when they lingered in the hallways on their way to and from classes.
Interesting.
Once out on the porch, he saw that Seraphina was seated on a comfortable-looking padded wicker chair he hadn’t noticed on his way inside.
“Are you all set?” she asked Madelaine, her violet-lensed spectacles perched on top of her head. She got to her feet.
“Yes. We’re headed out. Thanks for being my proxy.”
“You’re welcome. Call me if you need anything else. I’ll stay in Alienn for a few days, just in case you need me before I head back home. All right?”
“Yes. Thank you, Seraphina.” The two women hugged quickly and parted just as fast.
“Is home for you on Ichor-Delta?” Jack asked, surprising himself.
“Perhaps,” Seraphina said. “Why?”
Jack shrugged. “No reason. Just making conversation.” He knew someone from Ichor-Delta. Axel’s brother-in-law, Raphael Boudreaux—the bounty hunter married to Lucy’s sister, Francine—was from Ichor-Delta.
When the man wasn’t out being an intergalactic bounty hunter, Raphael sometimes worked for Cam in the same belowstairs security office where Jack worked.
Violet diamonds found on Ichor-Delta helped keep Earth’s bright sunlight from harming individuals from there. He suspected the violet lenses of Seraphina’s spectacles were made from those rare diamonds or coated with violet diamond dust in some form.
Seraphina waved as they walked down the porch stairs.
Jack followed Madelaine to the side of the house, where a silver luxury sedan was parked beneath a sizable, but weathered, carport. Given this area of Arkansas, he was surprised the local car rental businesses had anything besides trucks and SUVs to rent out.
She unlocked the vehicle with a couple of clicks from a key fob and they both got in. He adjusted the front passenger seat so his knees didn’t press into the glove compartment and soon they were headed back down the long, tree-lined driveway.
“Whose house is that anyway?”
“I don’t know. I rented it.”
“Is this your first time back to Alienn?” he asked, then could have kicked himself. He didn’t want to find out that she’d been back before and hadn’t bothered to look him up.
“Yes. The first time since—”
“Yeah. I know,” he finished for her and turned his head to stare at the dark forest.
“Where am I going? Left or right?” she asked once they reached the stop sign at the main road. Light traffic passed in front of them in both directions.
Jack pushed out a long sigh and closed his eyes, realizing this whole adventure together was going to be filled with all sorts of uncomfortable reminders of their past.
“Remember that house you and I looked at a month or so before you left?” he said.
After a few long, very charged moments of silence, she said, “Yes. I remember.”
“Yeah. Well, I bought it. So hang a right.”
“Yes. I know.” She put her blinker on and merged into traffic. They didn’t say another word until they got to his street, his house, his quiet, empty life without her.
Madelaine parked in the driveway behind his truck. Aunt Dixie had insisted on picking him up and personally delivering him to tonight’s bachelor auction, just in case he planned to escape what she called his “family duty.”
Jack opened his door as Madelaine turned the engine off. “I’ll be right back.” He was not ready for her to see inside the home he’d wanted them to share.
Once they graduated from college.
Once they started their adult lives.
Their combined once-upon-a-time and happily-ever-after—that had never happened.
Madelaine sucked in a deep breath and held it after Jack exited her rental car. As long as she didn’t breathe, she wouldn’t tear up. Why was this so hard? Because this is the life you wanted that you didn’t get to have, said the mean little voice in her head. As if she didn’t already know it.
The house looked exactly as it did in her memories. Even the color was the same, though Jack must have repainted it at some point. The soft yellow with white trim looked much better than when they’d seen the “unique fixer-upper” listed for sale more than five years ago.
It was a three-bedroom, two-bathroom bungalow with an unfinished basement. It had a very small den that was really just an alcove with accordion doors. It had a lovely oversized backyard that had looked like a slice of the Amazonian jungle five years ago.
Still, the two of them had been confident they could tame the wild foliage, fix all the problems with the house and make it perfect for their picture-perfect forever. The future that never happened and, sadly, never would.
Despite her best efforts, tears sprang into her eyes.
Madelaine released the breath she’d been holding because it was pointless. Being with Jack was going to be one long, tearful memory from start to finish. She needed to do a better job of shaking off her unyielding emotions.
Remember what you had to do to get here…
Once all her tasks were completed for this mission, it wasn’t like she could do what she wanted. No. She’d have to go back to Alpha-Prime and the Paladin Cabal, the group that had conscripted her into service.
The commitment she’d been forced into was a lifelong proposition, whether she liked it or not. And she didn’t. Not one single bit.
However, the alternative was unacceptable.
Madelaine breathed in slowly and then exhaled.
I can do this.
Remember what you had to do to get here…
Jack went inside the house he’d purchased only a month after Madelaine left, before he’d understood she wasn’t coming back.
She was supposed to be gone for two years. He figured he’d have quite a bit of sweat equity built up in the place by the time she returned. He’d planned to ask her to marry him on the front porch and surprise her with the front door key.
That had not worked out.
When Jack received the package with all the unopened letters Madelaine had returned—sent to his parents’ house, of course—he’d slowed down on his sweat equity for a while.
Eventually, he used working on the “unique fixer-upper” as a salve to his wounded soul. He worked doubly hard to get it up to code and livable for himself all alone.
Jack liked his house. He’d made it exactly what he wanted it to be without any tips or help from anyone, not even his family. The process had helped him get over Madelaine.
Well, he’d been over her until he saw her in the shadows of her Alienn rental house while she was on Earth to do an important errand or whatever.
That he was over Madelaine was a huge lie he’d been telling himself for years, because one look at her and it was like five long years of sadness and pain had disappeared in a single blink. He was a fool, no doubt about it.
The house was quiet as he moved through it. Jack didn’t have any pets, though it was something he’d been thinking about adding to his life. A furry animal to keep him company seemed like a good idea.
He went into his bedroom, opened the door to the small walk-in closet and grabbed the bag he kept tucked in the corner, packed and ready to go with everything he’d need for five days away from home.
In the hall, he stopped and adjusted the temperature control for his absence, then ensured all the doors and windows were locked.
Jack saw the landline phone as he headed for the front door, the one that had come with the house.
He ignored it. He didn’t need to call anyone.
And he figured the best approach to a surprise visit to the Secret Keeper in Minnesota was just that—a surprise.
Maybe shock and awe was a better definition for the madness of this trip.
He’d show up, plead for mercy and a quick conversation and hope for the best.
The hard part would be the next sixteen hours in a car with Madelaine and his still broken heart. And that would just be the trip there.
Stop it. Don’t be bitter.