Chapter 14 Octavia
Fourteen
Octavia
The cake was massive and shaped like a mermaid’s fin. I was glad the baker I found had made it stand out so well.
It’d received so many compliments, and it got to a point where everyone thought it shouldn’t be cut because it was too beautiful to eat. But, of course, we cut it. And that moist vanilla and ombre purple frosting was delicious.
The party wrapped up within two hours. I gave Deke and Davina big hugs before they took off. Deke had to go early to meet his manager, then had a flight the following morning to Seattle. Davina wanted to stay a bit longer, but Deke wasn’t having that.
I swear it seemed like he could never get enough of her.
Such lovebirds. I had to admit, though .
. . I was a little envious of their love.
It was so real and beautiful. They cared about each other so much, and it showed in the way they looked at each other, spoke to one another, and spoke about each other.
Maybe if I’d had a love like that instead of what I had with Luther, I wouldn’t be so opposed to commitment.
The kids, after running through sprinklers, doing crafts, playing games, and spending some time in the pool, were beat by the time the party was over. Aleesa as well. I remember thinking she was going to sleep so well that night.
After having dinner a few hours later, I gave her another bath and got her ready for bed. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes during her bedtime story, and as soon as I lay her down, her eyes closed and she drifted off.
After dropping a kiss on her forehead, I stepped out of the room and headed down the stairs. That’s when I heard faint murmurs a short distance away.
I rounded the corner, realizing the voices belonged to Javier’s mother and sister, Paola and Catalina.
They were nice women. Well, more so Catalina than Paola.
Catalina was a sweetheart, and we pretty much had the same sense of humor.
Paola, however, gave me the occasional side-eye, probably because she didn’t trust me.
I could understand that, especially if Javier had a hard time sticking to one nanny for long.
“He hasn’t spoken about her all day,” I heard Paola say. “I am worried about him.”
“You don’t need to worry, Mamá. He’s fine.
Okay? You know Javier doesn’t like when you get worked up.
Especially around this time of year.” Catalina, I’d noticed, didn’t have much of an accent, unlike her mother and brother.
But I think that was due to the fact that she’d spent more time in the United States growing up than Javier.
He was six years her senior, and their mother had sent them to live with their aunt in the United States for a better education.
Catalina had liked learning in the United States and had flourished.
Javier hadn’t, and because of that, he’d only spent two years in the United States as a kid before returning to Argentina and completing his education there.
According to Paola, she was upset with him for not making the United States work, because she’d spent a lot of money to make it happen. But since he’d received lots of attention for his basketball skills in his home country (and become a rich NBA player, I’m sure), she’d let it go.
“Sí, sí, pero . . .” Paola let out an exasperated sigh. “I just want him to . . . oh, what is the word? To . . . to acknowledge how painful this is. I showed a picture of Eloise on my phone to Aleesa, and he walked away. He could not even face it.”
“He’s just not in the mood to talk about her, and that is fine. Just let it go. When he’s ready to talk about it, he will.”
A faint thump sounded behind me, and I turned around. At the end of the hallway that led to the pool, the blinds on one of the windows were still drawn. Javier sat outside in a chair that faced the pool, the blue glow illuminating his features as he stared at the water.
I walked down the hallway and opened the door to walk out. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon, but there were still streaks of orange lingering in the sky. The backyard was clear, minus a few streamers and runaway confetti.
Javier heard me coming and lifted his head, eyes glistening like he was on the verge of tears.
My chest felt tight and heavy, seeing him this way.
I almost paused and thought to go back into the house, or even to the guesthouse, for that matter, just to give him some space, but it seemed too late now.
It would have been not only rude to duck off, but awkward too.
He sat up and cleared his throat, blinking several times to dry his eyes. “Aleesa go down okay?” he asked.
“Yep. She’s good,” I answered. “Went out like a light.”
His lips tilted upward on one side, a weak attempt at a smile. Silence ticked by for about five seconds before he said, “I know they are talking about me.”
I blinked at him before turning my attention to the house.
From here, I could see Paola folding blankets in the living room and Catalina storing things away in the kitchen.
Both of their mouths were still moving, and Paola seemed worked up as she snatched up another blanket and folded it.
She was probably speaking fully in Spanish now.
“I think so, yeah.”
“Every year,” he sighed.
I kept quiet as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the tops of his legs and threading his fingers together. Walking closer to him, I grabbed one of the chairs from the table and brought it near him, but not too close, in case he still needed some space.
“I know everyone is always asking about Aleesa,” I said in a quiet voice, “but what about you? Are you okay?”
He pursed his lips, still staring at the rippling water. “I am not sure how to answer that.”
“What’s the first word that comes to mind?”
“No.”
“No, you’re not okay?”
“No. I am not okay.”
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Great. Now can we please stop saying the word okay?”
“Well, you said it this time, so . . .” I raised my hands and shrugged.
He shook his head, but I didn’t miss the faint smirk riding his lips. At least that one was closer to a real smile.
“Hey, um . . . thank you for everything you did to make today happen,” he said. “Everyone had a great time, and I cannot remember the last time I saw Aleesa so happy.”
It was stupid of me to blush, but I did as I adjusted myself in my chair. “Of course. It was no hassle at all.”
“I’m sure it was a bit of a hassle,” he said, calling my bluff.
“Okay, fine. Sort of, but only because finding a pretend mermaid to be in that tank for two hours was near impossible.”
He chuckled, teeth glinting in the light.
“But it’s fine,” I said. “I love planning parties and would do it again in a heartbeat.”
He nodded appreciatively. Then his smile slipped away, and he sighed again.
“Listen . . .” I leaned forward, finding his eyes. “I know I’m just the nanny, but if you ever need to talk about anything, I’m happy to listen.”
His head turned so his deep-brown eyes could connect with mine. “I appreciate that, Octavia. There is not much to talk about, though.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“No?”
“No. You lost a spouse. And I don’t want to cross lines or anything, but I know you lost her around this time of the year. It’s not only Aleesa’s birthday but the anniversary of your wife’s passing too.”
His head turned left, then right in defeat. “I hate that they call it an anniversary. Like a person’s death is something that should be celebrated. Life should be celebrated. Not death.”
“Well, you technically did celebrate a life today.”
He contemplated that, lips twisting. “A life for a life, it seems,” he muttered.
Silence greeted us again.
“Your mom seems really worried about you.”
He made a noise between a scoff and a snort. “She always is.”
I paused before saying “I’m worried about you, Javier.”
“You should not worry about me, Octavia. I will be fine.”
“I used to tell myself the same thing until one day I woke up crying hysterically from a bad dream and didn’t stop crying the whole day. It’s like it all hit me at once.”
“Your father?”
I nodded. “Nothing could console me. I lost him and had to finally accept that he wasn’t coming back. That day I just let it all out.”
“I see.”
I studied his profile, his sharp jaw and full lips. “Can I ask you something?”
He seemed to hesitate. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you ever talk about her?”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he allowed the question to marinate. His eyes lowered to his lap. “It is . . . complicated.”
Oh. That wasn’t what I expected to hear.
I wanted to ask him what made it so complicated, but this was not the time to overstep. If there was one thing I didn’t mess around with, it was grief. Especially someone else’s.
“I’ll accept that.” I smirked. “For now.”
“Oh, for now?” he asked, laughing.
“Yes, for now. Hopefully one day you feel comfortable enough to talk about her.”
“I would not be surprised if that happened soon. You are very easy to talk to when you’re not being sarcastic, and for some reason I find that incredibly annoying.” One of his half smiles appeared and caused the center of his cheek to sink in, making it look like he had a dimple.
I busted out in a laugh. “I get that a lot.”
“Octavia,” he said, turning in his chair to face me a bit more.
I perked up, fully alert. “If my . . . moods are too much for you, I will understand if you do not want to work here anymore. I know that I am not an easy person to deal with. It is why a lot of the prior nannies either quit or were let go.” He scratched his chin.
“I do not mean to come across as angry or irritable all of the time. It is just . . . well, some days I think about my past and it weighs on me, and I handle things the wrong way. But I am working on it.”
“Well, if you’re working on it,” I said, “that’s all that matters.
I wouldn’t worry about how anyone else perceives me if I were in your shoes.
” I leaned forward even more, catching his eyes.
“But I have to let you know something, Valdez. I’m not going anywhere.
I’ve dealt with humans that could make you look a saint. Trust me. It’s all good over here.”
A smile swept across his lips as he sat back in his chair with a nod and a breath of relief. “Glad to hear you will stay, Tava.”
I grinned.
I wanted to talk more. Ask more. But I didn’t want to pry too much or come across as desperate for company . . . even though I was starting to appreciate Javier’s.
It didn’t help that he looked into my eyes like he, too, wanted to ask me a million questions.
Like he’d rather spend time getting to know me than doing anything else.
And not in the surface-level way, but on a deeper level.
A level that not many people reached unless they’d already formed a solid connection.
But that could never happen.
Why would we ever let that happen? For Aleesa’s sake, I wouldn’t.
Yes, Javier was sexy as hell. Yes, I’d have pounced right on him and climbed him like a tree .
. . but he was my boss. I was his child’s caretaker.
And I had a very strict rule about not sleeping with anyone I worked for.
I liked maintaining a professional image and wasn’t going to let a bout of lust for an NBA player destroy that.
As if he was thinking something along the same lines, Javier cleared his throat and shifted his gaze as he gripped the arms of his chair.
“You should go and get some rest,” he said. “It was a long day for you too. I will head into the lion’s den and deal with my family.”
A laugh escaped me as I watched him stand. “Okay. Good night, Javier. Try not to bring their claws out.”
Chuckling, he rounded the pool, then started walking toward the back door. “Good night, Octavia.” He looked back at me, his hand lingering on the door handle, almost as if he was torn between staying outside with me or going in and escaping whatever this humming electricity was between us.
With a small, warm smile, he entered the house. I found it hard to stop thinking about that smile for the rest of the night.