Chapter 23 Octavia
Twenty-Three
Octavia
I’d never been more thankful for having access to a hot tub than at this moment.
The water bubbled around me, creating a soothing roar that eased my racing thoughts and anxieties. I was still frazzled about Luther.
I couldn’t believe he’d found me. When I’d driven toward Javier’s house and seen him through the window, I’d thought I was going crazy. My whole body went into flight mode, and every alarm rang loudly in my brain.
I drove past the house, just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, but when I circled around, I saw it was definitely him.
He didn’t get a good look at me, so I don’t think he realized who I was.
I also didn’t have the same car I’d had when we were together.
How dare that asshole just show up like that? How did he even find me?
Seeing him triggered me in so many ways.
I felt cut open and raw, as if Luther had taken a knife, sliced into my core, and allowed all my organs to spill.
For a split second, I’d felt a panic attack coming on, but one glance in the visor mirror at Aleesa and I’d pulled it together as best I could and then called Javier.
Sighing, I picked up my sparkling water and took a sip.
At least my hands had stopped shaking. I would’ve loved a nice, cold glass of wine, but I had plans for a four-hour drive the next day with a toddler.
Plus, one glass of wine would’ve led to two, three, and so on—all so I could erase my darker thoughts.
I took a sweep of my surroundings, trying to center myself and be present in this moment. Focus on the things that catch your eye. That’s what my therapist often said.
If there was one thing I could say about Javier and his type A tendencies, it was that he had impeccable taste. His modern Spanish-style home was beautiful, but the pool and spa area were next level.
The hot tub was separated from the pool, of course, but not too far away was a seating area with plush black outdoor furniture and a propane firepit with glass panels and decorative silvery rocks.
A massive flat-screen was built into the wall across from the seating, and off to the left was a kitchen equipped with a gas stove, a grill, and an oven.
My favorite, though, was the waterfall wall built into one end of the pool.
His space was perfectly luxurious, and I soaked up every second of it to clear my mind.
I tipped my head back to look at the stars in the velvet, dark-blue sky. A thump sounded in the distance, and my breath hitched when a door clicked shut. A tall, solidly built silhouette appeared.
Javier walked toward the hot tub, wearing basketball shorts and a solid-white T-shirt. His hair looked like it had just dried and was a dark, beautiful mess atop his head.
When he stopped, he slipped his hands into his front pockets and gave me a thorough look.
“How are you?” he asked.
I twisted around in the water so I could anchor my forearms on the edge and allow my legs to float. “I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”
He was quiet for a moment, eyes drifting from my face to the curve of my ass poking out of the water. I’d gone to the guesthouse to change into a black bikini before hitting the hot tub. He clearly liked what he was seeing.
“May I join you?” he asked.
“Of course.”
He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. He stepped out of his shorts next and approached the edge of the hot tub with nothing but his boxers on.
“Make room.”
Dropping my arms, I smiled as he dipped one foot in after the other. When his lower half was engulfed in water, he stepped to the opposite side of the hot tub.
“I’m glad you came out. I wanted to ask if it will be okay to bring Aleesa with me to Charlotte?”
“To Charlotte?” He settled in a bit deeper. “What for?”
“Davina is cake tasting, and she wants me to join her. If that’s taking Aleesa too far, I understand. I don’t want to cross the line or make you uncomfortable. I can just tell Vina I can’t make it, and she’ll understand.”
“No, no.” He held my gaze before I could pull away. “It is fine. You can take her with you. I have a meeting with Tommy tomorrow anyway.”
I raised a curious brow. “Tommy?”
“My manager. He wants to discuss the Bubbles and Swaddles launch and figure out dates for New York.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Bubbles and Swaddles was the company Javier had partnered with to promote skin care products for young children and babies. Aleesa was one of the faces for their brand, and she loved using their items during bath times.
I’d met the owner of the company once, when I went to Miami with Davina last year. Her name was Kyla Cox, and she was a smart woman who reminded me a lot of my sister.
Business-savvy. Confident. Chic. Humble.
I narrowed my eyes at Javier. He was being too accommodating about this. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Yes. It will be good for you to see your sister after the mess today, I am sure. And Aleesa would probably enjoy the change of scenery. It will be good for her to spread her wings a bit.”
I almost choked on a laugh. “Am I speaking with the same Javier Valdez that hired me?”
“Do not push it.”
I snorted a laugh as he battled a smile.
“I just . . . realize how much freer she is when she is with you,” he said. “You were right. She is adventurous, and one day she will have to explore this world without me. Better that I let her do some exploring now before she starts sneaking out of her bedroom window.”
“You know, I don’t put that one past her. She’ll be sneaking out of her window by the age of seven to catch fireflies or something.”
“Oh, man. Do not say that. It makes me sad to know she will not always be this innocent.” He put on a smile, revealing a beautiful set of pearly-white teeth, but there was also a whisper of sorrow. “So . . . you really love cooking?”
“I do.” I shrugged one shoulder. “I was going to make ravioli tonight.”
“I bet that would have been delicious.”
“Yeah, but I’ll just make it another time.”
“Who taught you how to cook?”
“My mom did.” I twirled a loc around my finger. “She’s always been good at it. She gives something a try for the first time and perfects it. She taught me how to bake my first cake and has saved a lot of her recipes for me.”
“Your first cake? What flavor was it?”
“It was a pound cake.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “And when will you make one for me?”
“Whenever you want it,” I said, biting a smile.
He smirked. “Surprise me.”
I grinned, and I really wished I would stop acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. “Okay, GG. I’ve got you.”
“So it is you telling Aleesa to call me that,” he said with a snap of his fingers.
I giggled. “Guilty.”
“What does it even mean?” he asked with a partial smile.
“Grumpy Giant.”
“Grumpy Giant? Seriously?” His eyebrows dipped as he shook his head. “You are telling my daughter that I am a grumpy giant?”
“Of course not.” I laughed. “She doesn’t know the true meaning of it. She just likes saying the letter G twice. And for some reason when I say it, it makes her giggle. You have to admit you can be grumpy, though.”
“I am not.”
“You are. But it’s okay. You’re our grumpy giant.”
A boyish smile swept across his face as he lowered his gaze. That had seemed to warm him up inside. My goodness. How had I not realized before how adorable he could be?
I ran my fingers through the water, loving the feel of it flowing between the gaps. The act relaxed me as I drew in a breath and then exhaled.
“So . . . listen. About earlier . . .” I blew a heavy breath, ready to just bite the bullet already.
Because I knew that was the main reason he had come out here.
He wanted to talk about Luther. “This isn’t something I like to talk about, because I want to put it behind me, but I’ll tell you because I don’t want you thinking you’re the problem. ”
“Okay,” he said as more of a question than a statement. He straightened his back, with his eyes trained on me. I couldn’t keep looking at him, so I inspected my cuticles.
“I was in a relationship with Luther for three years, and it wasn’t a healthy one. I lived with him for one year, and that one year was all it took to realize he wasn’t the person for me.”
Javier tipped his chin, absorbing the information.
“He had anger issues, and I told him to get help, but he never did.” I shrugged, as if it didn’t matter anymore. But it did. It always would.
“When you told me he had hurt you, I wanted to bury him.” Javier’s eyes hardened while his jaw ticced.
“Yeah. I mean, he never, like, slapped or punched me,” I told him, hoping that would calm him down.
“But he did grab and shove me a few times. The first time, I confused it for an accident. We had both been drinking, so, you know, you kind of excuse it. But the second time he did it, we were both sober. He grabbed my arms, and I told him to let me go. He shoved me so hard that my arm got cut on the metal plate on the doorjamb.” I lifted my arm and twisted it, pointing to a slightly raised scar just above my elbow.
“It was after that when I realized I had to go. If I would have stayed, he would have become much worse.”
Crickets chirped in the distance as I looked away, shame eating me up.
Shame because I’d never thought I would become the kind of woman who had endured abuse.
I just . . . well, I’d never seen that in the cards for me, and I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t seen the signs in Luther.
When people say love can blind you, they aren’t lying.
I could feel Javier’s burning gaze on me.