Chapter Thirty-Two Javier
Thirty-Two
Javier
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I growled, stepping onto the porch.
Rafael backed away, throwing one hand up to try to calm me. “Just relax, all right. I just need to talk to you.”
“Showing up at my doorstep like this is not the way to reach me.”
“Well, you didn’t have to open the gates.” He shrugged and smirked.
“You have five seconds to tell me why you are here, or I am going to punch that stupid smirk off of your fucking face.” I took another step closer, clenching my fists. He took one backward, the back of his foot nearing the edge of the stoop.
The door creaked behind me, and Octavia and Catalina rushed out, eyes wide and worried.
“Listen, I just dropped by to tell you that I know about Aleesa. Okay?”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.
“I think that she might be my daughter. Not yours.”
My heart sank like a rock to my stomach. Catalina gasped behind me. I clenched my fists tighter, feeling my nails pierce my palms as my throat became raw and thick.
No. That could not be true.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Catalina demanded, walking around me to get in Rafael’s face.
He took a step down. Three more and he’d be off the stoop.
“What? Did he not tell you about me and Eloise?” Rafael flashed an arrogant smile at Catalina before putting his focus on me again. “I guess it makes sense. Don’t want to taint her reputation.”
I shoved past my sister and gripped the lapels of his suit, then stormed down the steps until I was on flat ground. I threw him down and dropped to my knees, ready to beat the shit out of him . . . until I heard the one voice that always centered me.
“Daddy!”
I froze, fist midair, then twisted my upper body to see my mother standing on the porch, with Aleesa in her arms. Aleesa’s eyes were wide and panicked as she studied me. My mother stared at Rafael, her face warped with confusion.
I hurried to a stand, breathing raggedly.
“Jesus, now I see why Eloise wasn’t happy with you.” Rafael got up and dusted himself off. “All that anger can’t be healthy.”
“Fuck you,” I spat. My whole body was vibrating with rage.
“Look, I hate to bring it to you this way, but I felt it would be best to hear it from me personally and not some random person showing up at your doorstep. I already went to court to file a petition, and soon you’ll be served.
I’ve also requested a paternity test so that it can prove I am her father.
If I am, I would like to discuss custody. ”
“Why the hell are you doing this?” I said, trying hard not to let defeat drown my words. “Why now?”
“Trust me, I hold nothing against you. But if I am her father, I deserve to be in her life just as much as you do.”
“You are not her fucking father,” I snapped, pointing a finger at his face.
“Eloise would have told me if she suspected that you were! You were not there during her pregnancy. You were not there when Aleesa was born. You were not there when Eloise died after giving birth to my daughter. I was! I’ve been here every single day.
She is mine, and I’ll be damned if you take her from me. ”
“I had no idea she was pregnant until I heard she’d died during labor.
That’s when I thought about the timing of it all and added it up.
I had a feeling the child she had could be mine, but I wasn’t too sure, and my conscience has been weighing on me a lot more lately.
What kind of man would I be if I just keep living my life as if I don’t have a child? Come on, Javier. Look at her.”
He gestured to Aleesa with a mock smile.
I didn’t look. I glared at him instead, refusing to back down.
“As soon as I saw her on the sidelines at your games, I could see it. I mean, of course, it could go either way, but the older she gets, the more I see myself in her. That most certainly isn’t your nose, and that dimple in her chin .
. . seriously.” He pointed at the dent in his chin, one eerily similar to the very small dimple in Aleesa’s.
“Trust me, I know you’ve been through a lot, and a part of me wanted to leave this alone, but .
. . it doesn’t sit right with me that I may have a child in this world and I don’t even get to know her.
I thought long and hard about it, and I knew you’d fight me on this, so that’s why I filed the petition first.”
“You do not deserve anything,” I growled, closing in on him again. “You were a mistake that Eloise made. You do not deserve to be anywhere near my daughter.”
“Well, I have no doubt that she is my seed, Javier,” he said, partially laughing. “The timing of when Eloise conceived is just . . . it’s too close. With all the traveling you were doing that she constantly complained about, there is just no way Aleesa can be yours.”
Before I could react, Catalina stormed around me to slam her hands into Rafael’s chest. “Get the fuck out of here!” she barked, shoving him further away. “Now!”
He stumbled backward but caught himself.
Then he chortled. “Fine. Whatever. I thought we could be cordial about this and do what was best for Aleesa, but you all clearly don’t want to play nice, so I’ll leave.
” Rafael sighed and raked his fingers through his too-perfect hair.
“We’ll see what the paternity results are and then what the judge has to say, whenever we have the hearing.
” He stepped backward, eyes going past me.
“Aleesa, I’ll see you soon, okay, sweetie? ”
I wanted to jack him up by the collar. I wanted to choke him to death—I swear I did. How dare he come onto my property, dropping a bomb like this? Telling me that she may not be mine? How dare that motherfucker come to my house, trying to take my daughter away from me?
This was unbelievable. How could Eloise do this to me? How could she not tell me that Aleesa may not have been mine?
A judge would never allow this. Not when I was there for Aleesa when she took her first breath. It was my name on her birth certificate. She was my baby girl . . . there was no way he would be able to get her. No damn way.
We watched him stroll away and climb into a black Tesla. He tooted his horn as he drove around the fountain. I didn’t look away until his taillights were completely out of sight.
“Hijo.” My mother rushed down the stoop to reach me. “What is going on? Who was that man?”
“You heard who he was, Má.” My hands shook violently. I wanted to punch something. Break something. This couldn’t be happening.
“How can that be?” Mamá’s voice trembled. “Tell me this is not true, hijo. Por favor.”
I could not bear to look at her. Instead, I stormed into the house and did not stop until I reached the living room. I paced back and forth, in circles, my mind racing and my heart pounding way too hard and fast.
“H-how, Javier?” Catalina’s voice was soft. I stopped pacing to look at her and the two other women standing a few feet away. I looked at Aleesa too. She continued watching me anxiously. “I . . . I knew Eloise wasn’t happy for a long time and that she might’ve slept with—”
“I didn’t think it needed to be said, Cat!
” I yelled. “Yes, Eloise slept with him. Yes, she was unhappy. But Aleesa is mine, do you hear me? All this time, I have raised her, and she—no, he has to be lying and is doing this to mess with my head! She is my daughter, and he is not getting her!” I stomped toward my mother to collect Aleesa. “Give her to me.”
Aleesa gave my mother a wary look but leaned toward me so I could grab her.
“I think we should keep her with us until you calm down a bit, Javier,” Octavia murmured as I marched around her.
“Do not tell me what to do with my daughter,” I grumbled, storming toward the stairs. “You are not her mother. You do not have the right.”
“Javier!” Cat’s voice sparked with rage now. “I know you’re upset, but you don’t have to be an asshole.”
“No, it’s fine, Cat.” Octavia held up a hand as I hiked up the stairs. “He’s right. This is none of my business. I’ll give y’all some space.”
“Octavia, please,” Cat called after her.
I continued to my bedroom and locked the door behind me. Then I cursed under my breath because I did not mean that. I truly, sincerely had not meant to say that to Octavia. She was the best thing to have happened to me in years other than Aleesa, and she was just trying to help . . .
“Fuck,” I cursed again, sitting on the edge of my bed.
Aleesa began to cry as she held on to me. “Daddy, I scared.”
“No, no, amor. I am so sorry,” I whispered. “Do not be scared. You are okay.”
Her bottom lip poked out as tears streamed down her cheeks. And when she closed her arms around my neck and held me even closer, I broke down in a sob. I buried my face in the small space between her head and shoulder, hugging her tighter.
If Rafael got custody of Aleesa, I was going to lose her.
The one person in my life that I loved unconditionally—that I would do anything for—I was going to lose. Was it not enough losing my wife? It was as if God was punishing me for something I had done. But I was a good person. No, I was not perfect, but I was a decent human with morals and heart.
I sobbed a little louder because this was not fair.
Life was never fucking fair with me.