Chapter Three
Iclose the dishwasher but scream when I turn around and find Beau behind me. He wraps me in a hug, letting my heart settle. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he says softly.
“It’s okay. I just didn’t hear you,” I mutter.
“You slept better last night,” he says as he pulls back to kiss me. “Man, I love having you here.”
“I love being here,” I admit. “And it’s hard to have a nightmare when I’m in your arms.”
“Good,” he smiles. “What do you want to do today?”
“Whatever you want to do,” I shrug. “I am content cleaning.”
“You saying the house is dirty?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No, no, no. I’m not. I just mean… I wasn’t saying…”
“Hey. Relax. It was a joke, Maggie. It’s okay,” he says, holding my face as I walk the edge of panic. “Breathe, honey. I’m not upset. Okay?”
“I’m sorry,” I say tearfully.
“Nothing to apologize for. It’s a trauma response,” he says, kissing me.
“You are going to get triggered by things. It may not make sense, and you may not even know that you’re triggered by something, but it will happen.
You won’t know how you respond until you are responding.
It’s beyond your control, but I will help to the best of my ability. ”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I sniff.
“Maybe. Maybe not. What I do know is that I want to,” he says.
“If I want you, then it is important that I understand how to help you out of that darkness. I am more than happy to bring you back to the light over and over again. Eventually, you will learn how to pull yourself back. Someday, the darkness will have a well-defined path for you to navigate. We may not be able to see that path yet, but I will be your guide.”
“Why are you so damn poetic?” I ask, and he laughs. “I know I’m making things more difficult than maybe they should be, but I’m trying to put my faith in you. I didn’t realize it would be this hard to trust someone that I already trust.”
“That’s trauma, Magnolia. It just distorts everything around you,” he says.
“How do you know so much about this?” I ask.
“I was in a pretty horrific relationship after you left,” he says.
“I was sad and lonely, so I let someone into my life who did not belong there. She was mentally, verbally, and sometimes even sexually abusive. I never got help because I didn’t see the signs.
Men are trained to believe they cannot be a victim of domestic abuse, so I refuse to think that it was her fault. ”
“What happened to her?” I ask.
“I finally got my head out of my ass,” he says.
“I thought she had been cheating, but I didn’t know.
I left the shop early one day and came home to her getting railed by her ex-boyfriend in our bed.
I finally felt like I had a reason to leave her, so I told her to pack her shit and get out.
She did so with little resistance. I sold the house a few weeks later and bought this one. That was three years ago.”
“You haven’t been in a relationship since?”
“Nope. I learned not to settle for anything but the best,” he says. “I realize that no one would ever match you, so I wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone.”
“But you had sex.”
“I did. I tried not to make a habit of one-night stands, but sometimes I got lonely.”
“Anyone I know?”
“I had sex with Jessie Young while we were both shitfaced drunk,” he laughs.
“At least she’s pretty,” I shrug.
“Not as pretty as you,” he says with a sweet smile before kissing me.
“So, you think she’s pretty?” I ask with a matching smile.
“Oh, jealousy sure does look good on you,” he grins, and I laugh. “Yes, I do think she’s pretty. I also know that you are not the type to be jealous. If you do feel like being jealous, I can certainly remind you just how much I want you.”
“Oh?” I say. “I’d love a reminder!”
“Oh yeah?” he asks with a grin as he backs me up to the couch.
“Mhmm. Think you can last long enough to remind me?” I ask.
“Oh, there’s my bratty Maggie,” he says as he turns and bends me over the arm of the couch. I giggle when he playfully smacks my ass.
I think what I love most about him is that he can melt away my worries with little effort.
He has always been like that. Anxiety is not a new thing for me.
I’ve always struggled with it, and he has always had a way of calming me down.
I think now it’s knowing just how good he can make me feel that helps level me out in these moments.
It’s hard to think about my trauma when I’m thinking about how sore my cervix is going to be after he fucks me.
Beau pulls my shorts and panties down to my ankles before pushing his fingers inside of me. “Is this what you wanted, love?”
“No,” I whine and wiggle my ass, needing so much more.
“Then tell me what you want, my sweet Magnolia,” he encourages. I can’t get the words out, which is probably why he wants me to say it. He wants me to not only voice my desires, but to learn to speak up for myself. “Come on, pretty girl. Tell me what you want.”
“I can’t,” I complain. “Please, Beau.”
“Please, what?” he asks as he slowly fucks me with his hand. I groan and push my hips back, but he promptly puts his hands between my shoulder blades to pin me to the couch. “Sit still, my love. Tell me what you want.”
“You,” I whimper.
“You have me,” he says. “Tell me.”
“Fuck, Beau,” I groan when he stops all together.
“Say it, Magnolia. I want to hear it,” he says softly.
“God, fine,” I snap. “Fuck me, Beau. For the love of God, fuck me.”
“That’s my good girl,” he praises and moves his hands to my hips.
With one punishing thrust, he buries himself in my pussy and immediately starts to pound into me.
He has his hand on the back of my neck, keeping me pinned with my arms under me as he violently fucks me.
It is, without a doubt, the most amazing feeling to be used by him.
How can someone so sweet fuck so hard? This man could do real damage, and I would absolutely let him as long as he kept making me come.
“Oh God,” I moan.
“That’s my girl,” he grunts. “Pray to me, sweet Magnolia.”
“You’re so deep, Beau. Oh my God,” I whimper. “Harder. Please.”
Beau nearly growls as he pushes me forward on the couch so that I am flat before rolling me onto my back.
He brings my legs to drape over his shoulders before surging back into me.
I cry out as I arch off the couch with a near-feral moan.
He quickens his pace until I feel like I cannot breathe as he rails me into the couch.
Every stroke is a blinding reminder that he wants me here with him.
He wants this… Us. He has always been the type to mean what he says and do as he wants.
As the pressure builds in my belly, I am nearly screaming as the pleasure rips through me.
I can only manage to say his name at this point, and every time I moan it, Beau drives into me faster and harder.
Our pleasure feeds off one another, and I could live like this forever.
When everything reaches a peak and my orgasm explodes, it shatters my past into a thousand tiny fragments.
The jagged shards tear apart any doubt that I had about coming home, for being here with Beau.
It seems so obvious from this perspective, freedom was always within my reach. I just had to grab it.
By the time he brings himself down to lie on my chest, we are both nearly gasping for air. It takes a second for either of us to be able to speak. “I’m sorry she hurt you, Beau,” I say quietly.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” he says as he sits up on his elbows to look at me.
“But you know what?” I ask.
“What’s that?”
“I’d go through it all over it if it meant being able to appreciate what’s right in front of me,” I say as I run my fingers through his hair.
I smile softly when his eyelids flutter as my nails drag across his scalp.
It’s this moment that I realize that he is still healing.
“We both went through things we didn’t deserve, but we are free now.
We spent our entire childhood looking to each other for support, so that’s what we will do now.
We have a whole world out there to explore, and I wouldn’t want to travel this life without you by my side. ”
“No one has ever acknowledged my need for healing before,” he says.
“Until now,” I tell him. “We can heal together. We both have gone at life alone for far too long, so now we get to relax.”
“I guess I can’t argue if you use my words against me,” he teases. I laugh and wiggle under the weight of his body when he tickles my side.
“I love you, Beau,” I say sweetly.
“I love you, too,” he says before gently kissing me. “Welcome home, Sweet Magnolia.”