11. Serena
SERENA
Have you written any positive affirmations lately?
I have.
Care to share?
May the bridges I’ve burned light the way . . .
Not exactly what I meant, but that’ll do.
—Serena’s conversation with her therapist
Serena
I have a favor to ask.
Rafe
Animal, vegetable or mineral?
Serena
Marital.
Rafe
Are we making marriages between our families a regular thing now, little Kingston? Because I could be down for negotiations.
Serena
Just. Friends.
Rafe
We’re getting married as friends? And if so, would that be friends with benefits?
Serena
Do you ever stop thinking with your dick, Langley?
Rafe
Why would I ever want to do that?
Serena
So it doesn’t fall off from rot someday.
Rafe
Dude, no. That’s just wrong. Don’t put that thought out into the universe.
Serena
I’m serious, Rafe. I need a favor.
Rafe
Friends with no benes style?
Serena
Yup. You in?
Rafe
You’re lucky I like you.
Serena
Rafe . . .
Rafe
As a friend. What do you need?
Serena
A date.
Rafe
WTF? Friends don’t date.
Serena
They do when one friend doesn’t want to go to a wedding alone.
Rafe
Why not?
Serena
Because.
Rafe
You know that’s a seriously shitty response, right? If you want me to go, you’re going to have to do better than that.
I stare at the text on my phone, wondering if there’s anyone else I can ask.
There’s not though. No one as perfect as Rafe.
He doesn’t know my family or friends, and more importantly, they don’t know him. Which makes him basically perfect. Damn it.
Serena
Fine. I’ve been in exactly one relationship my entire adult life. A relationship no one in my family besides Liv knows anything about. I’m talking years of longing and hiding and hurting.
Rafe
Sounds dramatic.
Serena
He broke my heart, then married someone else and had a baby with them.
Rafe
Sounds like he moved on.
Serena
All in one year. We broke up, and they were married and a happy little family before I even had time to realize what happened.
Rafe
Did he cheat?
Because I fucking hate cheaters and would happily be your knight in shining armor.
Serena
What?
Rafe
I’d kick his ass for you, Kingston.
Serena
I don’t need anyone’s ass kicked. I just need someone there.
Rafe
Afraid you’ll make a play for a married man? I never figured you for the type.
Serena
His wife’s dead.
Rafe
Shit, Kingston. That’s rough.
Wait. Is your heartbreaker Hendrix Sinclair?
Serena
. . . . . . . . .
Rafe
Your silence is loud as shit, Serena. Okay. I’ll help you out and be your date. But you’re going to have to promise me something.
Serena
Do I even want to know?
Rafe
No falling in love with me. I mean, my brother is already with your bestie. It could get messy, and nobody likes messy. Now, if you need an itch scratched . . .
Serena
Thank you, Rafe. You’re a lifesaver.
Rafe
Any chance for a lifesaver to be un-friendzoned?
Serena
Doubtful.
Rafe
That’s not a no.
Serena
It’s the nicest way I could think to say no to someone who just agreed to save my ass.
Rafe
Well, it’s a great ass.
Serena
Someday, a girl is going to be really lucky to call you hers, Langley. I wish that girl was me. But she’s not.
Rafe
Fine. Got any sisters?
Serena
Nope. But I do have cousins. Lots of them.
“You know book club is fun, right?” Saylor waves a dog-eared paperback in my face from across the coffee-shop table, barely missing my pink and green Sweet Temptations coffee cup in the process. “Seriously, I just mute the group chat, so my phone isn’t constantly blowing up.”
I kind of wish I’d muted our group chat. “If you mute the chat, how do you know what you’re supposed to be reading?”
She looks down at the paper cup in her hand, her cheeks flushing. “Someone usually tells me.”
Aurora snorts, and I take another sip of coffee and know I’d never actually mute our chat.
If I had I wouldn’t have seen Aurora’s message.
Aurora
Emergency coffee date. Nine sharp. Attendance mandatory.
Liv laughed at the message. She’s out of town, but Saylor and I agreed.
Not that there was an emergency, unless Aurora needing a chocolate fix counts as one. Which, based on the cupcakes in front of her and the way she keeps looking longingly at Saylor’s bag of chocolate chip cookies, could actually be serious.
I crack my neck, knowing I shouldn’t be here.
I should be at the office right now, harassing Human Resources for another stack of résumés. Theoretically, at least. They email them. I’m the one who likes to print them out. Either way, I’ve already interviewed five candidates to fill my position, and not a single one of them has been a good fit.
One spent the majority of the interview asking about game schedules and access to the owner’s box.
Immediate no.
Another wanted to know how many players she’d have access to, like they were her own private dating pool.
I escorted her out myself before informing HR that they’d need to start vetting the candidates before sending them my way.
And the gentleman I spoke to yesterday referred to Dad as Mr. Kingsley. Twice.
I wanted to say, Come on, man. Do your damn homework.
Instead, I smiled through it, fairly sure my lips were going to crack by the end.
“It’s not like you don’t love romance books.
” Aurora smiles as she drags a finger through a mountain of strawberry icing on her cupcake and licks it clean.
Then she proceeds to split the pink confection in half and smash the top upside down against the bottom before biting into it like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Saylor and I stare in a mixture of shock and awe. “What?”
“How is your ass not gigantic?” I groan, eyeing the chocolate crumbs and strawberry icing in the corner of her mouth.
Saylor’s eyes flick down.
My eyes flick down.
Aurora turns her head and grins.
“It’s barely nine a.m.” I stare, more than a little jealous. “And you’re drinking hot chocolate and eating a cupcake like it’s a breakfast sandwich.”
“Yoga,” she mumbles around a mouthful of chocolate cake.
“Not a good answer,” I groan.
“It’s my answer. You should try it.” She pushes one of the other cupcakes my way. “Try one. Maybe you’ll be happier.”
“I’m good.” I push it back.
“Liar,” she challenges.
“Aurora,” I warn her. “I’m not you. If I eat sugar before protein, I’ll feel like a slug all day.”
“Serena . . . just eat the fucking cupcake.” Was that a growl?
“Umm . . .” Saylor pulls the mint-green napkin the cupcake sits on away from Aurora.
“What our cousin is trying to say is you’re kind of wasting away.
And before you say it, I’m well aware it’s your first full season without soccer, but I refuse to sit by and watch you lose all the muscle you spent a decade building. ”
“And you guys think a cupcake is the answer?” Indignation wars with regret because they’re not wrong. I haven’t been for a run in—shit, I’m not sure how long. I haven’t been eating right either. Hell, sometimes I forget to eat altogether.
I’d ask if it was January yet because I’m ready for this year to be over, but Octavia would tell me a year is just months on a calendar and not to get caught up in the idea that the changing of the year needs to coordinate with the changing of habits.
I fucking hate when she’s right, even if it’s why I go to her.
“Is this like an intervention?” I ask, half kidding and half not as I look around Sweet Temptations to make sure no other family members unexpectedly appear. But when I look back, Aurora and Saylor are quiet. “Seriously?”
“Not an intervention.” Saylor lifts her tea, concern clear in every hesitant movement. “But we are worried about you.”
“Something is going on with you. Something more than you retiring from soccer,” Aurora adds as she finishes her cupcake and stares at mine lovingly.
“Guys, I appreciate it. Really, I do. But I’m okay.” I’m not sure I buy that bullshit, but hopefully they do.
“How’s Uncle Max?” Saylor asks, and my head whips her way.
“He’s fine,” I snap a little too harshly as my chest squeezes.
“Good.” She nods, her voice soft. “It’s not like he wants to talk about it, and we’re all worried about him.”
“He’s in remission. There’s no need to be worried.” That same pang of guilt I feel every time I think about leaving him and the Revolution hits hard and fast. “He gets tired more quickly, but the doctors said that’s to be expected.”
And he is. I was there when he rang the bell six months ago after his final chemo treatment. Something Mom forced him to do.
Like I said . . . rough year.
“Good,” Aurora sits back in the deep-purple, oversized chair, that’s one of the few pieces of furniture remaining after the bakery’s renovation, and pulls something from her purse. “Then you have no reason to stay with the Revolution.”
“I already quit,” I push back, unsure where she’s going with this.
But as Aurora’s eyes narrow in warning, I swallow. “You gave your notice, but you’re still there.”
“Same thing,” I protest, but Saylor leans forward, softening her smile.
“It’s not, S.”
My stomach growls as the scent of fresh pumpkin-spice coffee makes my mouth water. “I started interviewing this week. I haven’t found anyone right for the position yet. But I’m still looking.”
“Why?” Aurora snaps, and my head throbs.
“Because that’s typically what happens when you want to hire a new person.”
“Uh-uh,” Saylor pushes back. “Don’t play dumb. Why are you doing Human Resources’ job?” When I have no answer, she lifts her cup again and eyes me over it. “Don’t let yourself get stuck, Serena. You deserve to live your life, not his.”
“You realize how dramatic you sound?” I ask, ripping the paper off the cupcake sitting in front of me and stuffing half of it into my mouth as my stomach growls. “I’m living my life.”
Pretty sure crumbs just fell from my mouth onto my boobs.
So not ladylike.
Oh well. Being ladylike is overrated.
“Fine. Then what’s your plan once you’ve found your replacement?” Aurora asks.
“To leave,” I tell them both, not understanding why that isn’t obvious.
“After that,” Saylor pushes, and I’m suddenly glad Liv’s not here to jump on this bandwagon.