Chapter Seventeen
Moth
“Are they going to kill me on sight?” Alia climbed off the bike and followed me to the front door of our building.
People who didn't know our place would think it was one big house for four men. We had wanted to preserve the aesthetics of the older building so we'd kept our conversions to the inside only.
“They won't attack you as soon as you walk in the door,” I muttered, unlocking the front door and letting her in.
I wasn't sure I was ready to have her in my domain, which had been why I'd organized the meeting in Fly's apartment on the bottom floor. I could hear the guys rumbling voices as soon as we were in the hallway.
Alia tugged on her sleeve as she glanced up the stairs and then back to the door marked One.
I gripped her chin and made her look at me. “I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. As fucked up as I am, I made a promise to protect you.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at me, the beautiful shade of blue sparkling from the light above. I shoved down the rising emotion that tried to grow in my chest. My obsession was purely sexual. I couldn't let it turn into anything else.
“Thank you,” she whispered, “I've never had anyone care enough to want to protect me.”
“That's not true.” I darted a cold stare at her, frustrated at how blind she could be. “Your brother tried.”
She hiccupped and dropped her head, wrenching her chin out of my grip. Tears dripped down her cheeks, and I cleared my throat, regretting my words. I hadn't meant to hurt her, but her lack of self-awareness drove me insane.
“And once Brandon is locked away,” I went on, “you can live to honor your brother. You can put all this behind you and live your dream in your bookstore.”
“That’s right,” she said meekly. “And you’ll be gone.”
She swiped at her cheeks and I reached for her, cupping her damp jaw.
Nodding, I clenched my teeth. “I’ll just break your heart, you know that.”
“Oh, I know,” she said, dismissing my words with a wave.
“I meant…” Her eyes creased at the corners, but she kept her composure, her throat bobbing as she swallowed.
“…I wish you'd find another way to deal with your pain…” She put up a hand when I opened my mouth to interject.
“…but I respect your choice and when the time comes, I hope you'll say goodbye.”
My chest squeezed tight and a crack broke through the numbness that had been my friend for so long. Fuck.
“Let's go.” Releasing her, I turned and knocked on the door.
We'd always had a knock before you enter policy, even when the latch was on. Four men, with wildly different needs, didn't need to walk in on anyone doing their thing. Ant was the worst for walking around naked, any time of the day, and would often answer the door with everything hanging out.
The image of my friend distracted me from whatever Alia had just awoken in me. I couldn't face it, not now, not ever. I had too many goals to achieve, too many people to avenge and one place to end up.
The door flew open and Ant stood there, fully clothed, luckily. The guys knew I was bringing Alia to talk about the plans for Friday night. I had requested that they were on their best behavior.
“The stripper pole is ready,” Ant announced, waving us in. “I can't wait to see your moves.”
Alia gasped as she followed me in, her usually pale cheeks burning red. Ant waved at her, a frown on his face.
“Not you, sweet cheeks,” he said, pointing at me. “This guy.”
Rolling my eyes, I shoved past him, knocking his arm and entering the main kitchenette living area. Fly was sat on the couch, his broken leg out in front of him, watching Spider set up a stripper’s pole. The bastard hadn't been joking.
“Have you ever danced?” Ant asked, his eyes dark as he looked at Alia. ”Maybe you could give us a show.”
Alia glanced around at us before her spine straightened and her shoulders squared, clearly making her mind up about something. She turned to Ant and looked him straight in the eyes. “You can be an asshole to me all you like, but I remember when you were eleven and you pissed yourself at school.”
Ant's mouth dropped open and his hands clenched by his sides. “Bitch,” he said, looking at me, “She's got ballsy.”
Being with the guys calmed the storm that had simmered within me. They brought me back to reality, reminding me why I had to stay disconnected from the world.
“I hear you're musicians.” Alia wandered away from us, heading straight to Fly and Spider. “I never imagined you making music.”
“What did you imagine?” Spider tilted his head to the side, his hair dangling past his shoulder.
His demeanor wasn't all light and rainbows. In fact, his stare was a warning, one that I'd seen many times before.
I went to step closer, to give him a warning of my own, when Ant put a hand out to stop me, eyeing me warily when I glanced at him.
“Something insect related,” Alia said, sitting on the couch near Fly. “I don't know the official term of that type of career but you guys were crazy on all things bugs.”
Spider lifted his head and glanced between the rest of us. A burst of laughter escaped us, resounding around the room. Alia stared blankly, her forehead slowly creasing into a frown.
“What?” she said, her eyes wide.
Fly looked at her, his gaze tracing the length of her figure. “For a pretty book girl, you're not that smart, heh?”
“Fly,” I warned, my tone tight as my skin burned.
His gaze shot to me, his eyebrows flicking up. “Oh,” he muttered, “it's worse than I thought.”
“The whole bug thing was a code,” I said to Alia, going to the fridge and taking out a beer. “To keep us hidden.”
“Oh.” Alia's mouth formed a small o as realization hit.
My cock hardened as I imagined pushing it into the tiny hole.
“I wish you'd told me,” Alia muttered, distracting me from my dirty thoughts, “back then. I never would've called the cops. I would've kept your secret.”
We stared at her, the energy in the room shifting. If I hadn't staked a claim on her, the others would've gone for her as soon as she'd walked in the door. They knew that I was fucking her and had made an agreement to leave her alone.
“We couldn't trust anyone.” Fly eyed her.
Ant stepped forward and ran a hand over his shaved head. “Look what you did when you were humiliated – unintentionally, I might add – and you think knowing would’ve stopped you from telling the cops?”
Her gaze dropped and she wrung her hands in her lap. “I don't know, I like to hope I wouldn't have done it if I’d have known the truth.”
“It doesn't fucking matter anymore.” I moved to the center of the room, glaring at my brothers to try and diffuse the simmering anger. “Her justice has been served.”
“Yeah,” Ant laughed, “You've served her so all is forgiven.”
Alia shrunk in on herself, her gaze snapping to me. Her vulnerability fired something inside me. Hell, I should've told her that the boys knew everything that went on in one another’s lives. However, Alia had been my business and Ant had to respect that.
“Don't fucking talk about her like that,” I snapped, rage heating my skin.
Ant held up his hands, warding me off with a look. “Alright,” he said, moving to sit at the island between us. “No need to be so sensitive. I'm not sure I could've resisted either, my friend.”
Something snapped in my brain and the anger pushed my muscles to move. I flew at Ant, my fist ploughing into his chin. We crashed to the ground, the chair sliding out from under my friend and skittering across the floor.
An arm came around me, holding me tight and hauling me away from Ant. I held my hands up without resistance, moving over to the balcony door and going through it without looking back.
My chest heaved as I paced off the patio and onto the grass, growling low in my chest. Why the fuck was I overreacting to my friend's joke? I was numb. I'd been numb this whole time. So, why was I now reacting to any negative mention of Alia?
The scrape of crutches alerted me to Fly's presence. He was the only one, other than Wasp, who I could actually talk to without the fear of ridicule or scrutiny. The other two had been just as cynical as me, yet, they enjoyed life a little more than I had. They had found purpose and it kept them going. I sometimes doubted that they’d meet Fly and I on the bridge once our list was complete.
“I know you don't want to hear it,” Fly started.
“So don't say it,” I replied.
“If you let these emotions grow, it risks everything.”
I couldn’t deny his statement, even though it squeezed my chest. If I let myself get too attached to Alia, it would derail our carefully laid out plans. We'd been planning our goals since the moment we'd been shipped off to our families on the compound.
We were making money to survive but also to expose those who had hurt us. We worked together every day, righting the wrongs of the fucked up world.
“Did you hear back from our informant?” I muttered, trying to distract myself from my own emotions.
Fly grunted as I scrutinized him. His leg was in a full cast, running from his crotch to his ankle. The crutches held him up, however, he was weak as fuck. We couldn't go forward with our main goal until he'd reached full fitness again.
“Yeah,” he said, “but there's nothing of consequence going on over there right now. We need to concentrate on this Brandon cunt and then we can turn our attention back to the cult.”
My gaze slipped to the glass patio doors and I caught sight of Alia, who was talking to Spider.
Ant wasn't in the room, he was probably cleaning himself up or plotting his revenge on me.
That was the thing about four boys who had known one another almost their whole life.
We'd lost Wasp together, been tortured together and always fought together.
Sometimes that spread to one another, like most natural born siblings.
Still, I didn't feel any guilt. The asshole had been rude about Alia and that had made me feel a certain way.
“You're right.” I ran a hand over my hair. “The quicker we deal with Brandon, the quicker I can get rid of Alia.”
“You think it'll be that easy?”