Chapter Twenty-Nine
Bye, Soren.
Elodie
I shove my phone in my pocket as the bell above the door at Sweet & Salty rings Wednesday morning, setting aside my check-ins with Ruby and Sol in order to greet our newest customer—Soren.
“Elodie!” he hollers across the shop floor. “You’re here!”
Ah. I see what Roman meant about yelling through the gas station. Maybe it is a tad obnoxious. “Hello, Soren.” I smile. “What can I get for you?”
“Got anything sweet?” He winks. “I loved what you gave me last time.”
What I gave him last time. Which I definitely remember. Because I don’t see hundreds of people or thousands of orders a day or anything. “We can figure something out for you no problem! Any specific flavors you’re leaning toward today?”
“Sweet, I—oh. Hello, Soren.” Roman comes up behind me with a tray of… lunch sandwiches?
I eye him. Uh huh. Because we need to put out the lunch sandwiches. At 9:30 A.M. Sly, Salty. Sly.
“Hey! It’s my twin!” Soren beams. “I haven’t seen you since the mirror this morning!”
Soren laughs while I smile awkwardly and Roman… stares. Unblinking, unsmiling, and unwelcoming.
Yikes.
Soren doesn’t seem to notice. He does, however, notice when Roman takes a step toward me, putting himself practically on top of me. “Ahhhh,” Soren says, eyes twinkling. He waggles his eyebrows at us. “I see, I see.” He winks at me. “I knew you had good taste.”
Oof. Oof, oof, oof.
Talk about awkward.
“Speaking of taste!” I blurt. “How about a blackberry galette before they’re gone for the season?”
“That sounds great!”
Great, Perfect. Ten seconds, and I can have him out of this store.
In reality, it takes me thirty, during which Soren talks at Roman while Roman attempts to keep the you’ve kissed the girl I love and I haven’t off of his jealous, jealous face.
He does not succeed.
“Bye, Soren,” he says as the other man turns to leave, waving a jaunty farewell and winking at me again.
Once he’s gone, I poke at Roman’s sandwiches. “You’re real smooth, you know that.”
“You know, it’s actually a good thing you made out with that guy.”
“It was barely a peck!”
“We already knew you think I’m hot, but now we know you think I’m hot and kissable.”
“Was that a secret?” I ask. “When I was practically falling all over you in the gas station?”
His lips quirk as he straightens, chest puffing. “You were falling all over me, weren’t you?”
“Your attractiveness is not in question,” I conclude. “It’s your personality I’m less sure about.”
“That’s under construction,” he reminds me.
Mmhm. But will it end up better than before? Or will we have a roundabout where we should have had a stoplight? “I hope the construction goes well. I also hope you’re not doing it just for me.”
He tsks. “Not everything is about you, Sweet. This thing, in particular, is only… a quarter about you. Two thirds, maybe.”
I frown. “You’re not supposed to change yourself for a boy. Or a girl, in your case. You’re supposed to change yourself for you . Or for the good of the world. One of those.”
“I’ll hit them all to be safe. Two thirds for me, two thirds for the world, and two thirds for a girl.”
“You didn’t used to be funny,” I observe. “Like, at all.”
“I didn’t used to be funny around you ,” he corrects. “I’ve always been hilarious.”
I snort, then pull out my phone to dial Ruby, putting it on speakerphone while it rings.
“We’re not supposed to be on our phones during work hours,” Mr. Hilarious says.
“I’m on my break,” I declare. “You are, too.” I take his sandwich tray away from him, setting it on the back counter. No sandwiches, no work.
“Who’s on break?” Ruby asks.
“Your brother and me. Listen, would you describe Roman as ‘hilarious?'”
“No,” she says. “Next question.”
Roman rolls his eyes. “You can’t ask my sister if I’m hilarious. What little sister thinks her big brother is funny?”
“Me,” I answer. “Sol’s the funniest man I know.”
“Put Will on the phone,” Roman grumbles. “We’ll ask him.”
The line shuffles, then Will says, “Yello!”
“Will,” I greet. “Would you say Roman is ‘hilarious?'”
“Absolutely yes,” he says. Roman smirks.
“One time, when we were in high school, we were supposed to do these ice breakers, right? And so we go around the circle and everyone’s telling their fun fact about themselves, and it gets to Roman, and he just says, straight-faced, ‘No.’” Will laughs. “‘No.’ That’s it. I was dying.”
Roman’s smirk drops.
“Very funny,” I agree drily. “I can barely contain myself.”
Will’s laughter dies off, and he says, “Maybe you had to be there.”
“You got any examples that don’t involve me having to be there? I’m not very good at time travel.”
“Hmm…” he thinks. “Well… there was that time when… oh, but then… uh…”
The longer he thinks, the redder Roman’s face gets. Now that’s hilarious.
“Dude, are you serious?” Roman asks. “I’m funny!”
“Of course you are,” Ruby placates. “Which is why we can think of so many instances of you being just that.”
“We’re hanging up,” he says. “We have to call someone else.”
“Mom and Dad’s opinions on this matter don’t count,” she deadpans.
“ Goodbye ,” he grits.
“Bye, Roman! Love you!” Will says.
“Love you!” Ruby echoes.
“Love you,” Roman grumps. “Bye.” And then he hangs up.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye!” I complain, stomping my foot.
“You can tell them bye later,” he mutters, going through my contacts. “We need to consult an expert immediately.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And by expert, you mean…?”