Chapter Six
Derek
“Alright, Lil, are you ready to make these cards the best ones ever?” I ask as I pass over the pack of coloured markers to my niece. She’s making cards to give to the kids at her upcoming party.
“Yes!” Her eyes are wide with excitement as she grabs the pack from my hands and immediately pulls out a purple marker.
“Hmm, what shall we draw?” I playfully tap the end of my pen on my chin as I muse over ideas. “How about little puppies, or maybe some flowers? Oh! I know! How about hearts?”
“Hearts are a great idea!” Lily replies, immediately beginning to sketch a large, somewhat lopsided heart on the first card.
I chuckle. There was never really any question. She loves hearts. She has hearts on everything, including the barrette holding back her fine dark hair. As we work at my kitchen table, I ask her more about the party. “So, tell me again why you wanted a Valentine’s Day theme?”
“Uncle Derek, you’re silly.” She rolls her eyes in a way that’s so reminiscent of her mother, my sister, Jayne. “Valentine’s Day is just so much fun. You get to give people cards and candy and tell them how much they mean to you. Plus, who doesn’t love hearts and pink stuff?”
She’s so serious, it’s hard to keep the smile off my face. “That’s true, kiddo. And since your birthday falls on Valentine’s Day, it’s the perfect time to celebrate love and friendship, isn’t it?”
“Exactly!” She beams as she proudly shows me her finished heart. “What do you think?”
“Amazing,” I say, giving her a thumbs up. “But how about some glitter?”
It’s as if all her Christmases have come at once when I hand over the glitter pen. She bends her head and adds silver glitter to the card, the tip of her tongue poking out in concentration. As I watch her work, I’m struck by how lucky I am to have her in my life. Moments like these are precious.
“Uncle Derek, you’re coming to my party, aren’t you?” she asks, looking up from her work with curious eyes. “Mummy said you might want to do something else for Valentine’s Day.”
I snort. I’m sure Jayne would be thrilled if I was to go out on Valentine’s Day, but I hurry to reassure Lily. “I wouldn’t miss your party for the world, kiddo.”
She puts down the pen and reaches for a biscuit from the plate in front of us. “My party is in the afternoon. You could go on a date after.”
“I could, could I?”
“Uh-huh.” She nods. “Mummy says everyone deserves a Valentine. Do you have a Valentine, Uncle Derek?”
I’m caught off guard by the question, but my thoughts immediately drift to Ryan. Things have changed between us, but he’s the man I’m only supposed to admire from afar. “Uh, not really.”
She pushes a sheet of her very pink notepaper to me. “You should write a Valentine. Megan wrote a Valentine to Jack and now she’s his girlfriend.”
I have no idea who Jack is but Megan is Lily’s best friend from school. I wish things could be so simple. Why does adulting have to be so damn hard? But I smile and take the paper. “Maybe Cupid can rustle me up a Valentine, huh?”
Lily giggles and returns to her decorating, humming softly under her breath, while I say a silent prayer to Cupid to deliver me the man of my dreams. I pick up a marker and draw a random heart in the corner of the paper as I think of Ryan.
God, he occupies my mind so much lately.
Especially since our last encounter. My face flushes at the memory.
I know sex is sex, nothing more, but I can’t help wanting more.
I doodle a few more hearts daydreaming about him and the way he makes me feel, then before I realise what I’m doing, I’ve started to write a letter.
To my Valentine,
You’ve grown into an incredible person, one with a heart as big as the universe and a smile that lights up any room.
Every moment spent together reminds me how special you are, and your presence in my life makes me feel complete.
I can’t help thinking of what a life together would look like.
I want to enjoy simple pleasures with you, I want to show you the world.
Most of all I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you with all my heart.
Your Secret Admirer.
I reread the words, my heart aching. As much as I want to believe in the possibility of a future with Ryan, the reality is that things aren’t so simple.
But they could be. The voice in my head is insistent.
All I need to do is take a chance—a chance that I’m the right person for Ryan and that together we’d be awesome.
The sound of the doorbell snaps me out of my musing. I get up from the table. “I’ll be back in a sec, kiddo.”
I open the door to find Jayne standing on the porch. Her smile is warm, but there’s a hint of exhaustion on her face. I have no idea how she keeps all the balls in the air, but she and Phillip manage somehow, running their own business while being parents to Lily.
“Hey, big brother.” She steps inside and envelopes me in a hug that smells of Dior. “Sorry I’m later than promised. I had to show a house, and the clients were running late. Thanks for taking care of Lily.”
“You know I love spending time with her.”
We pull apart and head to the kitchen.
“Wow, those are looking great, Lil!” Jayne says, dropping a kiss to Lily’s head. “You’re quite the artist.”
“Thanks, Mum.” Lily beams, clearly proud of her handiwork. “Uncle Derek got me glitter.”
“Did he now?” Jayne raises an eyebrow at me.
I shrug. “Guilty as charged.” There’s glitter on the tabletop and all over Lily’s fingers, but seeing the joy it brings her makes the prospect of cleaning up glitter for days worthwhile.
“You’re a softie. You’d let this munchkin get away with anything,” Jayne says, nudging me gently with her elbow. “Remember the face-painting debacle at her sixth birthday?”
“Hey, that was awesome!” I protest, laughing at the memory. “And besides, isn’t it my job as the cool uncle to make every birthday better than the last?”
Glancing at the clock above the kitchen counter, Jayne’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh gosh, look at the time! Lily, we need to leave for soccer practice or you’ll be late. Time to clean up and get your stuff together.”
“Just a bit longer,” Lily says, a whine in her voice.
Jayne shoots her a look that has Lily gathering up the markers and cards that are spread across the table.
“Hey, Derek,” Jayne says as she scoops up Lily’s soccer bag from the floor, “why don’t you come over for dinner soon? It’s been ages since we sat down to a meal.”
“Sounds great. I’ll check my schedule and we can set a date.”
“Perfect.” Jayne flashes me a smile before turning her attention back to Lily, who’s now struggling to fit the last of her drawings into her backpack. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s go.”
“Bye, Uncle Derek!” Lily says, giving me a quick hug before following her mother towards the door.
Once they’ve gone, I head to the sink for a cloth. I take a deep breath and start to clean up the remnants of Lily’s project, trying to ignore how quiet and still my home has become.