Chapter 28 Nosiest Nellies
NOSIEST NELLIES
MOLLY
The game is over. We lost. And I think I’m going to throw up.
My head is spinning from the spectacle those two women caused, tearing into Grey at the dugout fence.
I heard everything.
Saw you last night….that girl…shame on you…Ruth Ellen would be ashamed.
And then they walked away, and Grey just stood there, frozen.
"Oh my god," I breathe.
"Are you okay?" Cass's voice is tight.
"Did they just say--"
A sigh, then a sad, "Yup."
Grey's still standing there, staring after them. His shoulders and neck are tense, his hands fisted at his sides. Then he turns and looks up into the stands, right at me. The expression on his face is a punch in the gut. It's not anger. Not embarrassment.
Devastation.
"Molly--"… Cass starts.
"I need to--" I start to stand, but she pulls me back down.
"Wait. Hang on--. Let him breathe for a second. Everyone just heard. You running up there right now might make things worse."
Might? Generous--it would definitely make things worse. So I stay put.
I can't look away, that look on his face tearing me apart.
"Is Ruth Ellen…"
Cass hesitates before saying, "His grandma."
Tears spring to my eyes, my lungs locked tight. Nothing would hurt him more than using her name to prove a point.
The pain in my chest is sharpened by the knowledge that this is all because of me. For something so stupid and simple as a kiss.
"Are you okay?" Cass asks.
"No."
"You look like you're about to throw up."
"I might." I look around, meet a few eyes that dart away on connection. "Everyone's staring."
"I know. I'm sorry. This is the worst part of living in a small town." She hesitates again.
My eyes are on Grey. My heart is in my stomach. "Is it always like this? When people accidentally kiss in public?"
"When there's a twenty-year age gap and one of you is the new girl in town?" She sighs. "Sadly, yes."
I wince.
She leans in a little so she can say under her breath, "Which,By the way, you owe me a story. Like, a big one."
Somehow, I smile a little. "Huge."
"Colossal." She smiles back.
I almost feel better. The crowd is thinning around us while we wait for the team to finish up. And an older woman approaches, sits next to me, smiles kindly.
"Hello there," I say, trying to be pleasant, braced for the worst. Please don't say something mean. Please, please, please--
"You're the new librarian, aren't you? At the elementary school?"
Here we go. I fight to maintain my smile. "Yes, that's me."
"My grandson is in the second grade. You've been such a help to him, I had to come say hello." She pauses, gives me a meaningful look. "I hear you've been getting some help lately yourself. From Greyson?"
My cheeks flame, my smile glued on. "He's been helping with my house, yes."
"He's always been handy, that one--. He's quite a man, isn't he?" She says with a chuckle and a little waggle of her brows, then pats me on the arm. "Good for you, honey."
All I can do is blink at her.
"Anyway, just wanted to thank you for all your help with my grandson. You girls enjoy the rest of your day," she says and moves along.
I stare after her. Is she implying something sexual? Surely not. Surely the little old lady didn't just suggest Grey has been handy with me. I'm about to ask Cass what she thinks when I catch the glare on her face, now pointed at the old lady.
Oh. Maybe she was.
I’m weightless, falling down the rabbit hole, caught in a dissociated haze.
My only thoughts cycle between wondering if I should leave and not wanting to be where Grey isn't. It feels like it's either been hours or minutes.
Mercifully, I manage to keep all my food inside my body.
But dread twists through me, caging me tight.
When the team is finally through, Cass stands, so I do too.
"I swear, this town," Cass grumbles, packing up their things in the massive bag she brings to all the games.
"Sometimes I fucking hate it here. Come on--let's blow this popsicle stand.
" We begin to descend the bleachers, Cricket jumping from one down to the next, ignoring Cass's warnings.
She sighs, shaking her head at the giggling first grader. Then takes a look at me and sobers.
"Dottie and Evelyn are just a couple of gossiping old biddies. Don't let them get to you."
"They weren't talking to me. They were talking to him."
"Sane thing," she says, squeezing my arm, then follows my gaze to the dugout where Grey is still talking to his team. We're all but alone, finally out of earshot. "So, are you gonna spill it or what? You have not answered any of my texts to my liking."
I chuckle. "Greedy."
She bumps into me playfully. "I mean it. I need details. The juicer the better."
"Well, it started with him teaching me softball and ended with him teaching me sex."
Cass almost chokes, ends up coughing for a second while I laugh at her. "You're fucking kidding me."
"I would never kid about Grey's skills as an educator."
A cackle bursts out of her--she tamps it down when we draw even more attention than I'd already garnered on my own.
But I sober after a moment, watching him still from across the field.
"But then…I don't know, Cass. It was all supposed to be no strings.
There were all these rules. But we blew past them one by one until now…
" I sigh. "This? The way people are behaving?
This is what he was afraid of, come to life.
And I…I don't know what happens. But I think something's going to happen.
I just hope it's not what I'm afraid of--that it'll be over. "
A group of people laugh a little ways off, and when we look, their heads snap away to cover their gawking.
Anger threads through my dread. "Why do they care so much? All of this is their fault. All because they think I can't make decisions for myself. I'm not helpless. I'm not stupid. I'm not prey, for god's sake.
"I don't know. I'd say they were trying to look out for you, but I think they just enjoy feeling superior. Plus, the drama. I don't think it has a damn thing to do with you at all."
"The things they said to him…" I shake my head. "Is that what we're bound for? They'll call him a predator and me a whore all because he's older than me?"
She shifts to face me, her brow and lips set, determined. "No. This is temporary. Whatever they say, whatever they do, it's all just killing time until the next thing comes along. All you have to do is survive it."
I sigh, exhausted. "Is that all?"
Cass lets out a sad little laugh through her nose and pulls me into her side. "Temporary. I promise--"
Before she can finish, someone behind us says, "Excuse me," from. me
An older man smiles gently at me, his eyes almost obscured by the bill of his faded baseball cap. "I think you mighta left this." In his extended hand is my yellow water bottle.
"Oh, thank you." I take it, smiling, expecting him to walk away. But he hesitates. There's something in his eyes--he's looking at me. Somehow it's not creepy. Just intense. I pray to god he's not about to ask me about Grey. I don't think I can take it.
"You're new in town, aren't you?" he asks.
I nod, try to smile, desperate to be done with this game. "I'm the new librarian at the elementary school. Are you a parent?"
He chuckles. "No. No kids in school. I just…I've seen you around town. Welcome to Roseville."
"Thank you," I offer. He looks at me like he wants to say more, and I get a feeling that I know him somehow. Cass is giving him the hairy eyeball. "Have we met before? You look sort of familiar."
"Don't think so, but I get that a lot. I just have one of those faces. You settling in okay? Old house on Maple Street, right?"
I'm surprised but not alarmed. At least ninety percent of the town knows I bought that old house. Plus, this guy's vibe couldn't alarm my grandma's old dog Petey, and that dog was afraid of everything. "That's right."
"You doing okay out there? That house has been empty a while."
Ninety percent of the town talks about that too, but it doesn't bother me. "It's a bit of a project, but I'm managing. A friend's been helping me fix it up."
He nods. "That's good. Good to have somebody looking out for you. Small town's safe, but you can never be too careful. You lock your doors at night?"
"She's careful," Cass answers with a snap in her voice.
He seems to notice her for the first time and finds himself, taking a step back. "'Course. Well, good to meet you. I'm--"
The man's gaze shifts behind me, and whatever he sees pales him. I turn to find Grey storming in our direction. He doesn't stop until he's put me behind him.
"Everything okay here?" he asks darkly.
Some assessment hangs between them, like they're sizing each other up.
"Just being neighborly. Welcome wagon and all that."
"I don't recognize you."
I don't know exactly what's happening between them, but they seem to be having an entirely different conversation. Grey is tense, intense. The man is softer, calmer, but not backing down.
I hold up the water bottle, hoping I can break up whatever this is. "He was just returning my water bottle--"
Grey's eyes stay trained on the man, "Appreciate it, sir."
The man nods, but catches my eyes once more. "You take care now. Lock those doors."
Grey watches him walk away like he's looking for a reason to running the guy down.
"Well…that was nice of him," I offer weakly.
"You've never seen him before?"
"I don't know…he's familiar to me, but I can't place him. Small town, right?"
But Grey's still staring after him. I don't know what to say. When he finally looks at me, I know instantly that whatever was wrong before is now much, much worse. And then he utters the single worst sentence in the human language.
"We need to talk."
I feel the weight of that sentence down to my toes. "Okay."
"But not here. Meet you at your house?"
"Okay." My throat is in a vise as I watch him walk away.
And just like that, I understand something else. All the stares, all the talking.
They knew before I did.
They knew it would end this way. And Grey's fulfilling the prophecy, giving them just they want.
Cass sighs. Pulls me into a hug.
"It's all going to be okay," she promises.
I wish I could believe her.
"Call me later?"
I nod. Drift to my car. Drive home on autopilot.
My palms are a sweaty mess by the time I pull into my driveway. Grey's already there, leaning against his truck. I realize I haven't seen the thunderstorm in him, not for a while. I didn't miss it, not even a little.
"Everything's fine," I say to the inside of my car, smiling because it makes me feel better.
I pop open the door and climb out, striding to meet him. And then I really look at him. Fear lashes me like a whip. His pale eyes are tight and tortured. My smile fades. "Grey. What's wrong?"
He takes off his hat, rakes a hand through his hair, puts it back on. "I think we need to take a minute. Cool off."
I already knew what he was going to say, and I wonder if that doesn't somehow make it hurt even worse than it does.
"Cool off," I echo. "Is this because of what those women said to you?"
"The whole town is talking, Molly."
"I know they are--"
"No, I don't think you do." His voice is tight, sharp. "It's been less than a day, and already they're…they're saying…" He shakes his head as if to clear it. "Everyone has an opinion. About our age, about me--"how I’m
"Taking advantage of me?" The bitterness in my voice surprises even me.
His eyes stay locked to mine through a beat of silence. "Yes."
"And do you think that? That you're taking advantage?"
"No, but--"
"Then who cares?"
"Me!" he snaps. "I care, Molly. Not about me. I don't fucking care what they say about me. They're talking about you. And it's only going to get worse."
"So what, we just…stop? Give them what they want?"
"Just for a little while. Until they move on to something else."
"How long?"
"I don't know."
My stomach pitches, hot tears stinging my eyes. "This…you're saying that…after all we…and now you're…" My breath hitches. "This is bullshit, Grey."
"I know." He steps closer, pulls me into his chest, and with the contact, my tears fall freely, silently, my glasses smushed and foggy. "Molly, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You know this isn't what I want."
I'm not sure I do anymore, but I keep it to myself.
"But I don't know what else to do. Molly, I--" His voice cracks. "It's killing me, hearing them talk about you. Like you're just a naive kid who doesn't know what she's doing."
"I'm not a kid."
"I know that. But they're never going to give you the chance to show them if we keep…" He swallows. "They're saying--they're calling you a--"
My heart stops. I can almost hear him say it. Whore.
"The shit they're saying? I'm gonna end up in jail, Molly.
If I hear one fucking man say it, I'll--" He shakes his head, swallowing the rest of the sentence.
"And anything they say is because of me.
" He's wrecked, in such distress, he's hanging onto me tight enough to make my bones, my lungs, my heart ache.
"I can't live with myself if it's me who ruins you, ruins your reputation. I can't be the reason you're hurt. "
I close my eyes, my arms around his waist, his heartbeat steady and true beneath my ear.
Even if you're the one who hurts me?
But I understand. I hate it and it makes me want to die, but I understand.
"This sucks." I mutter.
"I know."
"I hate it."
"Me too. It's temporary," he says like he's trying to convince himself, then lets me go, steps back, the space between us thick. "I'll call you. Okay?"
I nod.
Temporary.
The way he's looking at me feels like he's never going to see me again. Nothing about it feels temporary, even though I know he wants it to be. Even though I know he doesn't want to leave. Even though I know he wants me.
Somehow, I know.
But I watch Grey gets in his truck, pulls away, and as his truck disappears down the street, I can only hope.