Chapter 53 Wants and Needs
WANTS AND NEEDS
GREY
My palms are damp, pulse thundering as I wait the eternal seconds for Molly's parents to answer the door.
I've spent the last three hours composing a speech in my head that has just left my brain with zero trace. Molly's in there, and I'm so desperate to see her, I feel sick. But I'm not here for her.
I'm sick about that part too.
The door opens with a whoosh of air, and Cate stands on the other side looking frayed. Her nose is red, eyes puffy from crying. When she sees me, something complicated crosses her face--surprise, exhaustion, maybe even relief.
"She's not here," Cate says quietly. "She left a few hours ago."
Shock and disappointment spin through me. "She left? How?"
"Rented a car." She glances over her shoulder, then back at me. Her voice drops. "We had a fight. A bad one."
"Is she okay?"
"I don't know." Her chin wobbles. "I don't know anything anymore."
"I came to talk to you," I say. "Both of you, if you'll hear me out. But even if it's just you…. Please."
She hesitates, glancing over her shoulder again. "He's resting. The doctor said--"
"I'm not here to fight. I just need you to hear me out. Once. That's all I'm asking."
Something shifts in her face. She steps back, opens the door wider. "Please, be quiet. If he wakes up--"
I nod. "I understand."
It's a quaint house, cozy and warm, dotted with family pictures, smelling like home. I pause at one while Cate closes the door. Molly's only three or four, with that irrepressible smile, same wild mane of hair. But the sparkle in her eyes strikes me breathless. I would know them anywhere.
Cate leads me to the kitchen, gestures to a chair at the table, sitting across from me, her hands wrapped around a cold cup of coffee. Her eyes cut to the hallway behind me.
"We don't have long," she says quietly.
"Then I'll talk fast."
"I know what you think of me. I know I'm not the man you'd choose for her.
So I appreciate you hearing me out." I clasp my hands, twist my entwined fingers, squeezing tight.
"First, I have to apologize. The fight…" A hard swallow doesn't do much good.
"I lost control, snapped when he talked about Molly that way.
That's not to justify it, but…I don't give a damn what they say about me.
But I'll defend her, always, with my last breath.
The fallout, though…" I shake my head, twisting my fingers back and forth a little as I speak, "The stress of it all put your husband--her father--in the hospital.
Because of me, because of what I did, he had a heart attack.
I'll never forgive myself for that, so I won't ask for your forgiveness. But I'm sorry."
"What the hell is he doing in my house?"
Rob's voice cuts through the kitchen like a blade. He's in the doorway, face flushed, fists clenched.
So much for resting.
Cate is on her feet. "Rob, please--"
"Get out." His eyes are locked on me. "Now."
I stand slowly, but I don't move for the door. "I'm not here to fight," I promise again.
"I don't give a damn why you're here. You're not welcome."
My eyes narrow on him, my voice even when I say, "All week, Molly couldn't say a word without risking your health. But you look awful healthy to me, ready to fight."
His face goes red. "How dare--"
"I'm only pointing out that you can fight with me, but your daughter couldn't even have a conversation with you."
"Rob." Cate's voice is stronger now. "Let him speak."
He looks to her, stunned. "Excuse me?"
"I want to hear what he has to say." Her hands shake, but she lifts her chin in defiance. "Sit down. Or don't. But I'm going to hear what he has to say."
Rob doesn't sit. He stands in the doorway, arms crossed, glaring. But he doesn't interrupt. She sits. Nods for me to join her. So I do.
With a hard swallow, I keep going.
"I know I'm too old for her," I admit, "Trust me.
From the second I first saw her, I think I knew what would come of us.
But I denied myself, wouldn't even entertain the idea.
But we were friends. She needed help. And then I found myself with her all the time and miserable when I wasn't. You asked why I've been single all this time--I shut people out, deny myself like I did with Molly.
I grew up rough, bounced around a lot, learned early that the people you love will let you down.
And I figured it was easier to avoid it altogether. But then I met Molly."
I have to pause, draw up the tension in my chest and let a good bit of it go with a sigh. Chuff a little laugh.
"I coach our teacher's softball league, and she joined not having ever thrown a baseball.
She showed up there with a smile on her face and wonder busting out of her like sunbeams. She wasn't afraid, didn't worry she'd look silly--she came for the joy of it, nothing more.
I…I've never met anybody like her. I've never known someone who can take a moonless midnight and turn it into summer sunshine.
She didn't set out to show me that what I thought about life and love was wrong.
She saw past walls I built and walls I didn't even know I had, found a part of me I thought I lost a long, long time ago.
She made me believe, again. Through her optimism, her courage, she brought me back to life.
I don't mean that she fixed me. But she saw the best in me, and in that, she helped me fix myself.
"I love her." The words are raw, painfully true.
"More than I've loved anyone, more than I knew I could.
She didn't just find the best in me--she made me believe it was true.
I know I'm not what you wanted for her. But I will protect her.
Support her. Love her. Always. I know our age difference scares you--it scares me too.
But that's just one part of who we are. In the end, what matters is how we love one another, and I love her with all that I am.
You're afraid I'll hurt her, that she's too inexperienced to know what she wants.
But she's a woman who knows her mind, and she chose me. And I'd choose her in every lifetime."
My hands are shaking and damp when I reach into my pocket. In my hand is an old velvet box. I turn it over with my fingers, open it. Show them what's inside.
"You want to know my intentions? They're forever.
This was my grandmother's ring, wore it every day for more than seventy years.
Told me to give it to the right girl, when I found her.
I never expected to, wasn't looking for her.
She found me." My throat works, the stone there heavy.
"Someday, I'm going to give her this ring.
And I hope on that day, I'll have your blessing. "
Tears glisten in Cate's eyes. Rob turns away.
"Are you finished?" He asks, his back to me.
"I'm finished."
"Then leave."
"No, you don't have to--" Cate starts, but I shake my head.
"It's alright. I said what I came to say." I close the box, slip it back into my pocket. "All I'm asking is for you to trust your daughter. She chose me. And that should mean something."
"Get out," Rob grinds out.
Cate is torn, anguished, but she doesn't argue.
"Thank you for listening," I say to her quietly. And then I head for the door, passing Rob on the way. He says nothing. I don't meet his eyes.
The silence is deafening.
I track through the house and out the front door, finally able to breathe, anxious to get home. Desperate to get to Molly.
My phone is in my hand to call her, halfway to my truck when I hear footsteps behind me.
"Grey, wait."
Cate hurries across the lawn, arms wrapped around herself despite the afternoon sun. She looks over her shoulder at the house, then back at me.
"There's something you need to know." Her voice is barely above a whisper. She looks tortured. "Something Molly doesn't know."
I wait, dread slithering through me.
She takes a deep breath. "I know we must seem crazy to you, the way we fuss over her, the way Rob…
is. But when she was five…her biological father took her.
" The words come out in a rush, held back for nearly twenty years.
"He picked her up from school and disappeared.
We got her back but…we were never the same.
" She's started to cry, presses her hand to her mouth for a protracted moment before she can continue.
"She doesn't remember, and we never told her.
We wanted to protect her. And then it was too big, too much time had passed, and now… "
I stare at her, trying to process. "She doesn't know?"
"She doesn't know he exists, doesn't remember any of it." Cate's face crumples. "I tried to tell her a few weeks ago, tried to tell her today before she left, but Rob…" She can't finish.
"He stopped you."
She nods, wiping her eyes. "I'm scared, Grey--I'm scared of what happens when she finds out, and she will. She needs to know."
"You need to tell her. You need to call her right now and tell her. Because I will not keep this from her, and if she doesn't hear it from you, she'll never forgive you."
"I know. I know." She's sobbing now. "I just…I needed someone to know. Someone who loves her. Someone who can help her when…"
"When it all falls apart."
She nods.
I reach out, squeeze her shoulder. "I'll be there," I promise. "Whatever she needs. But it has to come from you."
"I'll tell her. I will." Her jaw tightens. "Even if I have to leave Rob here to fend for his goddamn self."
"Thank you for telling me."
She takes a shaky breath. "Take care of her. Please."
"Always."
She watches me from the driveway as I get in my truck and pull away, the vision of her shrinking in my rearview mirror, a woman trapped between her husband and daughter, holding a secret that's going to blow everything apart.
All I can do now is get home to Molly.