Chapter Nine
Barra was making a habit of sneaking out of camp in the middle of the night.
She felt like a raccoon searching for a garbage can.
But tonight she didn’t have much choice.
She was almost certain Allie had found the protection bracelet at the feast today and had hidden it in her backpack, and that thought had stuck in Barra’s head and refused to let her sleep.
She had to know.
That was why she’d carefully taken Allie’s bag from where it lay at the foot of the shelter and rushed silently off into the jungle. She didn’t need to go far, just far enough away that no one would hear her and no one could see her.
“What if you find the bracelet?” she muttered to herself as she stepped over a root that was hopefully just a root.
“What then?” She wasn’t planning on stealing it, but what she did know was that she needed confirmation.
The fact that Allie had found the bracelet and hadn’t decided to share it with the rest of the table gnawed at her.
Anyone else would’ve used it as a perfect opportunity to seal an alliance.
But then again, would Barra have done anything differently from Allie? Yes... No. Maybe. Barra suspected Allie would rather walk barefoot on hot pavement than tell Sutton anything. Not that Barra blamed her. Sutton was rather intolerable.
Something creaked.
Barra’s body froze, then thawed enough for her to glance back over her shoulder.
She couldn’t see the beach at all. She couldn’t even see the ember glow from their dying fire or the shadowy slant of the palm-frond lean-to they’d lashed together on day one.
The only thing she could see was the occasional blink of a red camera light somewhere in the trees.
Elise was probably already salivating. Barra had no doubt her sneaking off into the jungle with Allie’s backpack would make excellent TV.
The viewers wouldn’t just eat it up like chips; they’d dub her the villain of the season and give her a nickname like Barra the Bandit and comment on how she had done a full one-eighty since Season Five, and they’d be right.
She was different. She even felt different.
She was a completely different person from the one who had fallen in love with Dominique.
She was, as her friend Gabi would say, a shell of her former self.
Barra breathed in deeply and filled her lungs with air that tasted like wet leaves.
She tucked Dominique’s face into the back of her mind, wishing it would just stay there forever, and continued onward.
A low-slung branch blocked her path. She ducked beneath it, then another until a small clearing came up.
Then she dropped the bag to the ground and crouched over it before her fingers worked the zipper.
She would lie if she said her heart wasn’t racing faster than Usain Bolt leaving the blocks at the London Olympics.
And she’d lie, too, if she said she didn’t find it kind of thrilling.
Maybe being the villain wouldn’t be the worst role to play.
“What are you doing?”
The voice cracked through the clearing so close behind her that Barra’s entire body jolted. Her spine snapped upright and her shoulders slammed back. Before she could even locate the voice, she was windmilling her arms in a deeply pathetic attempt to save her balance.
She failed.
Barra landed on her ass with a thump just as Allie stepped into the clearing.
“Is that my bag?” she shot, pointing at the backpack.
Barra scrambled forward and grabbed the bag again, clutching it even tighter.
“Did you seriously steal my bag?” Allie spat, looking absolutely appalled.
Barra couldn’t blame her. She’d done just that. But instead of admitting guilt and immediately apologizing, Barra shot one back, “Did you find the protection bracelet?”
Allie’s mouth opened and closed.
A ragged slice of moonlight cut through the canopy above and illuminated Allie’s face. Her expression was scrunched somewhere between guilt and infuriation. Her lips were puckered and her forehead was creased. And those brown eyes were two dark voids. “What are you talking about?” she coughed out.
“You know what I’m talking about,” Barra said. “I saw you. You found something under the table and hid it in your pants. Then you spent the rest of the feast squeaking like a mouse.”
Allie gasped. “I did not.”
“Yes, you did,” Barra said. “I’m surprised no one else noticed.
” Or maybe not that surprised. Sutton had spent a great deal of time talking about her lesbian-only ski resort while Hazel had been hunched over with her fist pressed against her stomach.
Apparently, she had the digestive ability of a tiny, fragile bird.
“You can’t prove anything,” Allie snapped, already marching toward her. “And you have no right whatsoever to go through someone else’s bag. It’s illegal.” She grabbed the bag and yanked it.
Barra should have let go. She knew she should have, but something in her body locked down.
Call it a reflex or instinct, but her grip remained tight.
Then Allie pulled again, harder this time, and suddenly everything happened at once.
Barra was hauled upright before she could brace herself.
Her balance disappeared beneath her as if someone had kicked the legs out from under a chair.
Then she stumbled forward and collided straight into Allie just as the bag slipped from both their grips and hit the ground with a thud.
Barra had barely registered it, but her hands were on Allie’s waist. Her face was impossibly close to Allie’s face.
She could feel Allie’s exhale against her lips and experienced a startling buzz of nostalgia.
Except they weren’t in that bathroom in Big Sur; they were in a damn jungle in Costa Rica.
“I’m...” she started to apologize but then stopped as Allie’s eyes flicked down to Barra’s mouth, and before Barra knew it, a heat had spread down to her hips.
She’d completely forgotten that the cameras were watching.
Her palms were sweaty. Allie’s lips were a mere breath away.
She could easily kiss her. Did she want to kiss her?
Or would a kiss be the ultimate distraction?
Couldn’t it be both divine and a distraction?
Barra didn’t give herself any more time to question it.
Precious moments were wasted when one thought things through.
Unfortunately, she knew all about that. Instead, she closed the gap until her lips brushed against Allie’s lips, and her fingers tightened on Allie’s hips, curling into the fabric of her shorts.
She was just about to pull her closer, press her mouth harder, but then Allie pulled away as if she’d touched an electric fence.
“Are you seriously trying to kiss me right now?” she spluttered. “What the fuck, Barra?”
Barra touched a finger to her lips.
Heat suddenly spread up her neck and to her cheeks. She would’ve turned and run away, but where would she go? Instead, she scoffed, “Oh please, like you weren’t thinking of doing the same.”
Allie huffed out a breath. “No,” she said. “I was not, actually.”
“You were looking at my lips.”
“I look at everyone’s lips,” Allie blurted, though her voice wavered just a fraction. A fraction enough. “You’re not special, Barra. Even though you clearly think you are.”
“Who says I think I’m special?”
“Oh come on,” Allie said, yanking her bag up from the ground and cradling it to her chest. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Even at the wedding you were acting like you—”
“Like what?” Barra cut in. Like she had barely held herself together.
Allie sighed and dropped the bag to her feet. Barra couldn’t help it; her eyes went to it. She wondered if that stupid bracelet was in there and then also wondered why she cared so much. Who gave a fuck if Allie had found it. If she had, she deserved it.
“I didn’t care that you vomited all over me,” Allie said.
“Or that you ran away and left me sitting in the cab for fifteen minutes wondering if you were going to come back.” She huffed out a breath that Barra could feel all the way over to where she was standing.
“But when you spoke to me like that at the airport, like I was some inconvenience... tell me, Barra, what did I do to you to deserve that?”
Nothing. Allie had done absolutely nothing to deserve that.
Barra swallowed and let her head dip low.
Sutton might be blunt and obvious about her bitchiness, but Barra was worse.
Her damage was silent, like cancer, festering slowly over time.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said so softly she barely heard her own voice.
“And I shouldn’t have stolen your bag. That was really unlike me. ”
There was a pause, long enough that Barra worried Allie wasn’t going to accept her apology, but then she slung her backpack over her right shoulder and said, “Can we just start over? Can we forget all about what happened at the wedding and at the airport, and just be friends, or at least healthy competitors?”
“Only if you tell me if you found the protection bracelet,” Barra said.
She hadn’t snuck out of camp, nearly died of fright, and then embarrassed herself by trying to kiss Allie, just to walk away empty-handed.
Nope. She’d gone through all this trouble for a reason, and she sure as hell was going to get some clarity.
Barra even tilted up her chin to show she meant business.
Allie stared at her as if she’d sprouted a second head, but then, a breath later, sighed. “Fine,” she muttered. “I did find the bracelet. It was stuck to the underside of the table at the feast. I ended up breaking a nail to pull it off. Are you happy?”
“Yes,” Barra said, smiling, and for the first time in a while that smile came a lot easier. She snapped a twig off a nearby branch and stuck it between her teeth. “I’m happy.”
“Good,” Allie said. “Now you need to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Hazel.”
Barra hadn’t even thought about telling Hazel. In fact, she’d completely forgotten all about her. “Fine,” she said, reaching up to pluck a leaf from the same low-hanging branch. “I won’t tell a soul. Are you going to tell Sutton?” The branch snapped back like a whip.
Allie looked at her like she had considered it already and the answer was no.
She shook her head just as Barra presumed she would, and again Barra smiled.
“I don’t blame you,” she said. “I wouldn’t tell Sutton either.
” Then she reached for another leaf closer to her head.
She plucked it off just as Allie shuddered.
“Will you please stop plucking things off trees,” Allie hissed, sounding way too exasperated. “You might just bother something up there.”
“You mean a snake?”
“Of course I mean a snake,” Allie said, turning toward the edge of the clearing. Another shudder. This time she clutched her bag tightly to her chest like a shield. “Now, can we please head back to camp? This jungle is freaking me out.”
“Fine,” Barra said, heading toward the edge of the clearing.
She also felt a sudden, almost urgent need to get back to camp.
Knowing Allie had the protection bracelet was enough, or so she hoped.
She might lose a few valuable minutes of sleep replaying that humiliating attempt at a kiss, but at least she wouldn’t be lying awake wondering what Allie was hiding.
.. or what Dominique was doing right this minute.
“And don’t try to kiss me,” Allie said, brushing away a large, flat leaf that blocked their path. “I don’t want to have to push you away again.”
Barra laughed. “Don’t worry, I’d rather kiss a fer-de-lance than try my luck with you.”
“Good,” Allie said. Though, was it Barra’s imagination, or did she sound just a little disappointed?