Chapter 5
Beckham
Onhe day I first met Simon, I gave another boy a bloody nose. To be fair, though, he had just shoved Ellery off the playground swings.
Simon immediately raced over to comfort his sister. Not me. I pulled the other kid away from the newly vacated swing. Then I jammed my fist into his face.
No rational thought.
Just pure impulse and rage.
My actions granted me a week-long suspension from school. I also earned immediate, permanent best-friend status with Simon. We became inseparable. As for Ellery, she forevermore thought of me as her hero. I would spend every waking moment of my childhood and adolescence trying to be worthy of that title.
And every waking moment, I would fall short.
Looking back, it probably wasn’t the best first impression I could have made. But I have always hated bullies. Narcissists. Self-proclaimed tough guys with overinflated egos who care nothing for anyone other than themselves.
People like my deadbeat father.
Normally I don’t condone violence off of the battlefield. Unfortunately, tonight is testing my resolve, and it is all because of her.
Thirty minutes ago, Ellery walked in. Since then, every cell in my body has been acutely aware of her presence. There was a high probability that she would be here tonight; after all, the Apothecary is Sweetbriar’s most popular bar and is almost always packed.
Seeing her then was still a kick to the gut.
One week has gone by since she appeared in Simon’s kitchen. Seven days. And I am still reeling from the encounter. Every inch of me is off-kilter, like my entire world shifted on its axis, and Ellery is at its center.
Even now, I can’t keep my eyes off of her. She is a tantalizing mixture of innocence and sinful temptation. Her dress is short, pale blue, and—paired with a pair of high-heeled boots—shows off every inch of her toned legs. And that hair is driving me crazy. Making me itch to wrap it around my fist.
Redheads have always been my favorite, and I’m beginning to think it started with her. Her long, wild curls hang loose down her back, almost to the top of her ass. With the dim mood lighting overhead, the pale red color looks darker like a copper penny.
Right now, her face is lit up with a carefree grin. That smile is a beacon to all the men in here tonight who are prowling for a good time.
I want to punch every single one who looks her way.
What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t get jealous. I am not some overprotective caveman. This desire I have to haul Ellery over my shoulder and take her home is so laughably out of character.
Thank fuck Simon tapped out before she showed up.
No need for both of us to end up in jail for assault.
Just then, something heavy thuds on the oak tabletop and wrenches me out of my head. I look down in confusion. A frosty mug of beer has magically appeared in front of me. Theo Hawkins, the only friend remaining out of our little friend group, is staring at me with an amused smirk on his face. “I went ahead and ordered you a refill, sunshine. You look like you need it.”
I glare at him. Fuck, am I being that transparent?
Another reason to be glad Simon already went home.
Hawk watches me for another moment, his eyes glinting in curiosity while I down half of my drink in one go. Then I slam the mug back down.
“Man,” he says, eyebrows raised. “You have been acting weird all night. Way more detached than you usually are. Gonna tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m fine.”
I try to focus fully on Hawk. I do. But, then I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. My gaze snaps back to Ellery and her friends, who are now perched at a high-top table near the dance floor.
Hawk continues to speak—about what, I have no clue. His words have become nothing more than background noise. No, my attention is zeroed in on the rich, preppy asshole who just weaseled his way up to the woman in question.
Ellery is smiling up at him. Even from here, I can tell it’s fake, but tell that to the knot in my chest. She laughs politely at something he says. I start to fantasize about locking him in a chokehold and dragging him toward the exit.
Vaguely I hear, “James. Did I lose you again?”
My response is a grunt.
Richie Rich moves way too close. He drapes an arm over the back of Ellery’s chair, and I watch her spine stiffen. The idiot is too busy ogling her chest and flirting with everyone at the table to notice how uncomfortable she is.
He really must have a death wish.
“Captain!”
I snap to attention at Hawk’s commanding bark. Doesn’t matter that both of us have gotten out of military service. My body has been trained to respond to that tone in his voice. Years of serving under someone will do that. That muscle memory is unlikely to fade anytime soon, and the bastard knows it.
Now he likes to do it for fun.
“At ease, soldier.” He smirks at my frown. “Now that I have your full attention—what the hell has you so distracted? And don’t say nothing.”
Fuck. I don’t want to get into this with him, so I deflect. “That a general question, or…?”
Hawk levels a glare at me.
“Just saying,” I continue with a shrug, “there are lots of things to distract me. You’re pretty damn boring.”
“Fuck you, asshole. I’m a delight.”
I salute him with the bottle before taking another swing of beer.
He leans back, eyes narrowed in thought. “Alright. Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
“The girl you’re stalking.”
“Not stalking her, asshole.”
“Ah, but there is someone.”
Fucking hell. Friend or no, Hawk is annoyingly perceptive. The man always has been able to read me like a book.
Ignoring the twinkle in his eyes, I turn my gaze back to the dance floor. Richie Rich has moved on to another table of giddy women. Ellery is no longer with her friends.
I narrow my eyes and start to scan the dimly lit space. When I catch sight of her, she is heading back toward the dance floor from the direction of the restrooms. Her eyes lock on mine. A second later, her face brightens with recognition, causing a pleasant burn to flare in my chest. She stops right in front of our table.
“Hey, Beck!” she says.
“Evening, Ellery.”
Hawk leans forward, keen eyes glinting with interest. He turns to Ellery with a charming smile.
“Well, well, well,” he says. “Where have you been hiding this gorgeous creature, Beckham?”
Ellery blushes a pretty shade of pink. My hands clench into fists under the table as I am filled with the sudden desire to break Hawk’s nose. Goddamn this irrational jealousy.
“Theodore Hawkins,” he says as an introduction when I make no move to do so, oblivious to my internal struggle. He takes her hand in his, lifting it to press a kiss to her knuckles. “You can call me Hawk. All my friends do. And I think we are going to be great friends.”
“Ellery Brooks,” she replies, looking a bit starstruck.
They always do. Hawk just has that effect on women.
My glare screams at him to back the fuck off. Of course, he ignores me, instead perking up when she gives her name. “Ah, Simon’s famous little sister.”
Ellery looks uncomfortable at the praise. “Hardly famous.”
“Well, I have some friends in New York who are fans of your work. I also know Simon is a very proud brother bear. He sings your praises every chance he gets.” Hawk leans forward, steepling his fingers. The awed way Ellery is looking at him only makes my tension mount. “I’ve seen some of your art myself, and you, my dear, are very talented.”
“Kiss-ass,” I grumble.
“Just speaking the truth.”
“Just speaking out of your ass, you mean.”
“Wow,” Hawk smirks. “I must really be getting to you. Your insult game is usually much stronger.”
“Oh, I can think of a few insults I’d like to use.”
Ellery’s wide-eyed gaze ping-pongs between us.
“Ignore him, darling. He’s always cranky until his third beer.”
“Really?” The expression on her face turns impish. “I thought that was just his default state.”
Hawk throws his head back and laughs. “Why don’t you join us? Have a drink. or two. We could swap embarrassing stories about our boy here.”
“Christ, Hawk.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “No stories.”
“Afraid I’m going to embarrass you?”
“Not you. Her.”
Ellery giggles and damn if it doesn’t curl around me like a caress.
“Well, now you have to join us.” Hawk pats the seat next to him. “Come sit by me, sweetheart. I’ll order you a drink.”
And now I’m back to being pissed off. “Laying it on a bit thick there, buddy,” I growl. “Don’t you think?”
Hawk’s devilish smirk raises my hackles. “Why so defensive, James? You claim this young lady already?”
“Hell no.” My words are a harsh, knee-jerk reaction. “And I don’t think Simon would appreciate you making a move on his baby sister.”
Ellery’s smile falters and hurt flashes in her eyes. Just as quickly, that hurt twists into anger.
Fuck me.
“Not sure how you missed it, Beckham,” she bites back, “but I’m twenty-four. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and no one gets to dictate who I talk to or spend time with. Not Simon. Especially not you.”
Her eyes, filled with an angry fire, hold my own for an intense second before they flit away. “Thank you for the invitation, Hawk, but I’d better not.” She motions toward the dance floor. “My friends are waiting for me. But it was very nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure was all mine, beautiful.”
She gives him a tight smile. Then, without a single glance in my direction, she turns and walks back to the far side of the room. I follow her with my gaze. Can’t help it. I want to follow her with my whole body so I can apologize, but—fuck. What would I even say?
“Man,” Hawk chides. “We seriously need to work on your bedside manner.”
My eyes pinch shut. “You don’t need to spell it out for me. I know I acted like a damned Neanderthal.”
“Huge understatement,” he mutters. “Fuck, though… Simon’s little sister?”
My eyes narrow. “What the hell is that look for?”
“Nothing.” He shrugs. “I just never expected to see you tied up in knots over a woman.”
“What? No. No way.”
“Yep. You’re completely infatuated.”
“Just protective,” I argue. “Ellery is like a sister to me.”
Hawk snorts. “Not the way you were looking at her, she isn’t.”
My mouth opens, ready to disagree. Then I snap it shut again. He has a point. Ellery has been stirring up feelings that are in no way familial.
Not that I would ever act on it. Still… “You’re seeing something that isn’t there.”
“Man, you may be able to pull that shit on Simon, but not me. We served together—have been through hell and back together—and I know your sorry ass better than you do.”
My gaze has already sought her out again. “Fine,” I admit. “I may be attracted to her. Doesn’t matter. She’s off-limits.”
“If you say so.”
Thankfully, he drops the subject. We fall on more mundane topics for a bit longer until he looks at the time on his phone.
“Well, I’m beat,” he says, straightening. “Gonna head out.”
“Alright, old man.”
Hawk slides out of the booth and then glares down at me. “I’m only three years older than you.”
“Like I said. Old.”
He rolls his eyes and reaches into his back pocket. We settle up our tab. Say our goodbyes.
As soon as he is out of sight, the night catches up to me.
What a mess.
Ellery and I can never be anything more than what we are, no matter my feelings. Or hers. I wasn’t lying about that. Not just for Simon’s sake, but also out of respect for the only true parents I have ever known. John and Sara Brooks took me in from the moment Simon and I became friends. They practically raised me. Loved me like one of their own when I had no one else.
Ellery and Simon are my family.
I will protect that with my life.
Besides, I neither have the capability nor the desire for a relationship. Never have. All I want, all I need, is a warm and willing body. I prefer one-night stands and short flings to long-term commitment, and Ellery deserves so much more than meaningless sex.
She deserves so much more than me.