17. Kane
KANE
Lilah texts me Tuesday morning while I'm drinking coffee and pretending to read Niko's overnight briefing.
LILAH: Can we visit Josef today?
Her request sticks to my brain.
Yesterday she asked me to leave her room because she was scared of what she'd forgive if I stayed. Now she's asking to spend the day together visiting my hospitalized security guard.
I'm trying not to read anything into it.
I'm failing.
ME: When?
LILAH: After lunch? If he's up for it.
ME: I'll call the hospital.
I text Yuri to confirm Josef's awake and cleared for visitors, then head upstairs to let her know we're good to go.
She opens the door wearing jeans and a sweater that hangs loose on her shoulders, showing her collarbone. Her hair's pulled back and there's no makeup on her face. She looks tired. No—fucking exhausted. In a way that makes me want to pull her against my chest and let her sleep there.
"Josef's awake," I say instead. "We can head over around one."
"Okay." She leans against the doorframe. "Thank you for arranging it."
"You don't have to thank me for that."
"I know. I'm not trying to—this isn't me encouraging anything. I just wanted to see him."
"I know that too."
She studies my face like she's trying to figure out whether I'm lying.
"Okay," she says finally.
I leave before I say something that makes her second-guess the outing.
Stepan drives us to the hospital just after one. Lilah sits beside me in the back seat, hands folded in her lap, staring out the window.
"He's doing better," I say. "Ribs are healing. Jaw's wired but functional."
"That's good."
"He's already asking when he can come back to work."
She turns to look at me. "You're not letting him, right? Not yet."
"Not until he's cleared." I glance at her. "Why?"
"Because he's going to push himself if you give him the option." She looks back out the window. "And he shouldn't have to."
I want to reach over and take her hand. I don't.
We pull into the hospital parking lot and Stepan drops us at the main entrance. Inside, we take the elevator to the third floor. Yuri's standing outside Josef's room looking bored.
"Boss," he says when we approach. "Mrs.—" He stops himself. "Ms. Dorsey."
Lilah nods at him. "Yuri."
I knock once, then push open the door.
Josef's propped up in bed with his jaw wired shut and bruises yellowing along his cheekbones. He looks like hell, but his eyes are alert when we walk in.
"Boss," he says through the wires. It comes out garbled but recognizable.
"Hey." I pull a chair closer to the bed. "How're you feeling?"
"Like I got hit by a truck." He tries to smile and winces. "But better."
Lilah hangs back near the door, arms crossed.
Josef notices her. "Ms. Dorsey."
"Hi, Josef."
"I'm sorry." The words come out rough and halting. "I should have—"
"Stop," Lilah says firmly. She moves closer to the bed. "You have nothing to apologize for."
"They got past me." He looks miserable. "You got hurt because I—"
"You got hurt because you tried to help me." She pulls the second chair over and sits. "That's not your fault. It's theirs."
Josef shakes his head. "My job is to keep you safe."
"Your job is to do what Kane tells you." She glances at me. "Right?"
"Right," I say.
"And Kane wouldn't want you beating yourself up over this." She reaches out and takes his hand. "So stop."
After a second, Josef nods.
"Good." She squeezes his hand gently before letting go. "Now tell me how long you're stuck in here."
"Another week," Josef says. "Maybe less if the swelling goes down."
"And then what?"
"Back to work."
"Doing what?"
He hesitates. "Whatever Kane needs."
Lilah turns to look at me. "Kane's not putting you back on active duty until you're fully healed. Right, Kane?"
I lean back in my chair. "Right."
Josef starts to protest. "Boss, I—"
I cut him off. "Your position's waiting. But you're not going back to the rotation until your doctor clears you and I'm satisfied you're ready. No arguments."
He looks like he wants to argue anyway, then thinks better of it. "Yes, boss."
Lilah relaxes.
We stay for the rest of the hour. Lilah asks about his family, whether he needs anything, what he's been watching on the hospital TV. Josef answers in short, wired-jaw sentences and looks less miserable as the conversation goes on.
When we finally stand to leave, Josef catches Lilah's hand again.
"Thank you for coming," he says.
"Of course." She smiles at him. "I wanted to see you. Not just to ask when you could come back to work."
"I appreciate that."
Outside in the hallway, Lilah is quiet as we walk back toward the elevator. Yuri falls into step behind us.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah." She doesn't sound okay. "I just—"
The elevator doors open and we step inside. Yuri stays back, taking the next one.
As soon as the doors close, Lilah leans against the wall and covers her face with her hands.
"Lilah—"
"He apologized to me." Her voice comes out muffled. "He got jumped by Vetrov's men and he apologized."
"He feels like he failed you."
"He didn't fail me." She drops her hands. Her eyes are red. "He got hurt because he was protecting me. Because of something that happened over your corridor and Vetrov and—" She stops. "None of this is his fault."
"He knows that."
"Does he? Because it sounded like he thinks he let me down."
I reach out carefully and brush my thumb across her cheek. She doesn't pull away.
"He'll be fine," I say. "Give him time."
"He shouldn't have risked his life." She looks up at me. "None of your men should risk their lives for me. They're all in danger because I'm living in your house and Vetrov's trying to hurt you through me."
"That's not your fault either."
"Isn't it? I'm the one who agreed to the deal. I'm the one who kept showing up for holidays. I'm the one who—" She stops again. "I'm the reason you gave Vetrov ninety-one properties."
There it is.
The thing she's been carrying since the exchange.
"No," I say firmly. "You're the reason I chose to give them up. That's very different, Lilah."
"How?"
"Because I made the choice. You didn't make me do anything." I keep my hand on her face, thumb still tracing her cheekbone. "You're not responsible for what other people decide to do."
"Even when they decide to do it for me?"
"Especially then."
She closes her eyes. "I don't know how to live with that."
"You don't have to live with it alone."
The elevator dings. The doors open onto the lobby.
Lilah steps away from me and wipes her eyes quickly. I follow her out, keeping space between us even though I want to pull her back against me and make her stop carrying this alone.
Stepan's waiting with the car. We get into the back seat and he pulls away from the curb without a word.
Lilah gazes out the window again. I watch her profile and try to figure out what to say that won't make this worse.
My phone vibrates.
NIKO: Fletcher's surveyors showed up at Lot 47 this morning. Vetrov's men let them through.
I read it twice, then glance at Lilah.
"What?" she asks.
"Fletcher's started surveying the corridor."
Her head turns sharply. "Already?"
"Yeah." I open Niko's message thread and scroll through the rest. "His team hit three sites this morning. All properties I transferred to Vetrov."
"What does that mean?"
"It means Vetrov's moving fast. He's giving Fletcher access so the development plans can move forward."
"Even though he doesn't have my building yet?"
"He's betting he will." I look at her. "Or he's pressuring you by showing you what's coming either way."
"Can we see it?"
"The survey?"
"Yeah. I want to know what we're dealing with."
I lean in and give Stepan an address on Forty-Sixth. He nods and changes course.
Ten minutes later we pull up across from one of the old warehouses I spent three years acquiring through a shell company out of Delaware. There's a white van parked outside and two men in hard hats standing near the loading dock with clipboards.
Vetrov's guards are posted at the gate.
Different men. Not mine.
I watch them wave the surveyors through and feel a cold weight settle in my chest.
"Those are Fletcher's guys?" Lilah asks.
"Yeah."
"And Vetrov's guards are just letting them do whatever they want?"
"They own it now." I hate admitting it. "They can do what they want with it."
She's quiet, watching the scene unfold. One of the surveyors takes photos of the facade. The other measures something near the entrance.
"Does this mean he can start seizing my bakery?" she asks finally.
"No. He needs you to sell it to him, or he needs approval to acquire it through the redevelopment petition." I turn to look at her. "But this means he's moving forward like he already has it."
"So he's confident."
"Or he's trying to make us think he is."
She watches the surveyors for another minute, then sits back in her seat. "I hate this."
"Yeah."
"How much do you want them back?" She doesn't look at me when she asks. "The properties."
"A lot," I admit.
She nods slowly. "Does it hurt? Being with me and knowing what you gave up for it?"
I reach over and take her hand before I can stop myself. She lets me.
"I'm not with you," I say. "Not the way I want to be."
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah. I do." I don't let go of her hand. "And no. It doesn't hurt being around you."
"But you hate that you gave them up."
"I hate that I had to give them up." I squeeze her fingers gently. "I don't regret the choice."
"Even though you spent twenty years building it?"
"Even then."
She finally looks at me. "I can't be another person you feel like you have to rescue, Kane. I can't carry that."
"That's not what this is."
"Isn't it? You gave up everything you built because Vetrov was going to kill me otherwise. That's the definition of rescue."
"No. Rescue implies you couldn't save yourself." I shift closer. "You would have found a way out. You always do. But I wasn't willing to risk the time it would take or what might happen to you in the meantime."
"How is that different?"
"Because it's about what I wanted. Not about whether you needed it."
She's quiet for a second. "That's a pretty fine distinction."
"Maybe. But it's the truth." I tighten my grip on her hand. "I want more than opportunities to keep you alive, Lilah. I want you. The rest of it—the properties, the corridor, all of it—that's just shit I can rebuild."
"Can you?" She looks back out at the surveyors. "Because it seems like Vetrov's already started."
"Then I'll take it back."
"How?"
"I don't know yet." I follow her gaze. "But I will."
She doesn't pull her hand away. We sit there in the back seat watching strangers measure buildings I used to own, and I try not to think about how badly I want to drag her closer and make her believe that she's worth every single thing I gave up.
Eventually Stepan clears his throat. "Boss?"
"Head back," I say.
He pulls away from the curb. Lilah's still holding my hand, fingers laced through mine, staring out the window like she's trying to solve an equation that doesn't have a clean answer.
I don't say anything. Just hold on and let her think.
By the time we get back to the house, she still hasn't let go.