38. Delilah
DELILAH
On Saturday, I wake up to Kane's hand in my hair.
"Morning," he says.
"Morning."
I stretch and roll toward him. The light through his bedroom window is soft, still gray.
"What time is it?" I groan.
"Eight."
"Too early."
He kisses my forehead. "Go back to sleep."
I consider it. Then I remember what day it is.
November twentieth. Vivian and Connor's wedding. The one that isn't happening.
I sit up. "I'm awake now."
Kane props himself on one elbow, watching me. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because today was supposed to be your sister's wedding."
I nod. "I know. I just remembered."
"And you don't feel anything about it?"
I think about it. "Not really. Is that bad?"
"No."
"I mean, I feel bad for her. A little. But mostly I feel relieved."
"Why?"
"Because if she'd married Connor, they'd have kept showing up at the bakery asking for money. And I'd have had to keep saying no. And it would have gotten uglier every time."
Kane sits up beside me. "So you're relieved it fell apart."
"Yeah. Does that make me a terrible person?"
"No. It makes you honest."
I lean against him. "My mom called yesterday."
"What did she want?"
"To tell me Vivian's devastated. And to ask if I was happy now."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. I let it go to voicemail."
He wraps an arm around me. "You want to stay in bed today?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I don't want to spend the day thinking about their canceled wedding. I want to do something that has nothing to do with them."
Kane tilts my chin up. "Then it's a good thing I've got the whole day planned out."
My eyes go wide. "You do?"
"I figured you deserved a day that was all about you."
My heart feels so full.
I kiss him fast and deep. Practically knock him into the headboard with the force of it.
"I love you," I say.
Kane brushes a stray lock of hair out of my face. "Does that mean you're letting me take you out, Ms. Dorsey?"
I grin. "You can take me wherever you want, Mr. Makov."
He kisses me in response.
We don't get out of bed for another two hours.
After our lazy morning in, we spend the day in the city.
Kane takes me to lunch at a tiny Italian place in the West Village, where the tables are so close together we can hear the couple beside us arguing about their Thanksgiving plans.
"Do you have Thanksgiving plans?" Kane asks.
"Not yet. You?"
"No. Niko usually hosts. But I haven't decided if I'm going."
"Why not?"
"Because I'd rather spend it with you."
I take a bite of pasta. "What if we did both?"
"Both?"
"Yeah. We could do something with your people on Wednesday. And then go to my mom's on Thursday."
Kane sets down his fork. "You want to go to your mother's?"
"I don't know. Maybe. If she actually invites me this year."
"After everything?"
"I know it sounds stupid. But I want to see my aunt and uncle. And my cousins. And I keep thinking that maybe, if I'm there, my mom will remember how it used to be and realize she misses me."
"And if she doesn't?"
"Then I leave. And I don't go back."
He considers it. "What do you need from me?"
"Just be there. That's all."
"I can do that."
We finish lunch and walk to Central Park, where Kane buys me a hot chocolate from a cart even though it's not that cold.
"What?" I ask when he smirks at me.
"You have foam on your nose."
I wipe it off. "Better?"
"No."
He licks it off me, then tilts my chin up for a kiss.
Once he's stolen all the breath out of me, he takes my hand and we keep walking.
I tuck myself closer, heart soaring. I feel light. Happy.
And I realize I haven't thought about Vivian or Connor or the wedding in hours.
By the time we get back to Kane's house, it's late afternoon.
I kick off my shoes in the entryway and head to the kitchen, where I find Anton pulling a roast out of the oven.
"Smells heavenly," I say.
"It should. I've been working on it all day."
"Can I help?"
"I'm afraid I've been given strict instructions against that."
I lean against the counter. "Come on. Let me do something."
"I haven't set the table yet, but you didn't hear that from me."
I grin and grab plates from the cabinet.
Kane appears in the doorway, watching me.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing."
"You're staring."
"I like watching you."
Anton makes a noise that might be a laugh.
I finish setting the table and step back. "There. Done."
"Good," Kane says. "Now stop working and come here."
I cross to him and he pulls me close, kissing me in front of Anton like he doesn't care who's watching.
When he breaks away, I'm breathless.
"What was that for?" I ask.
"Because I wanted to."
Anton clears his throat. "Dinner's ready."
We sit at the table and eat together. Anton joins us, which he doesn't always do, but Kane insists.
The food is perfect. The conversation is easy.
And I realize this is what I want. Not the big family dinners at my mom's house, where I'm always serving and cleaning and managing everyone's feelings.
This. Simple. Quiet. Just the people I choose.
After dinner, I check my phone.
Three missed calls from my mom.
I debate on whether to call back.
Kane appears beside me. "Your mom again?"
"Yeah."
"You want to talk to her?"
"Not really. But I should."
"Why?"
"Because if I don't, she'll keep calling."
He doesn't argue. Just stays close while I dial.
My mom answers on the first ring. "Delilah."
"Hi, Mom."
"You finally decided to call back."
"I've been busy."
"Busy on your sister's wedding day."
I don't take the bait. "What did you need?"
"I wanted to tell you that Vivian is heartbroken. She spent the whole day crying."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Are you?"
"Yes, Mom. I'm sorry she's hurting."
"Then why didn't you help her?"
I close my eyes. "We've been over this."
"You could have asked Kane. He would have said yes."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is the point, Delilah?"
"The point is that Connor's financial screw-ups aren't my responsibility. And they're not Vivian's either. He should have been honest with her from the start."
"So you're blaming Connor."
"I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying it's not my job to fix this."
Leanne scoffs. I don't take the bait. Which means, for the next thirty seconds, we stay on the line in thick, uncomfortable silence.
She breaks it first. "Are you coming to Thanksgiving?"
I hesitate. "I don't know."
"It's a simple question."
"I'll think about it."
"Delilah—"
"I said I'll think about it. I'll let you know."
I hang up before she can argue.
Kane wraps an arm around my waist. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just—tired."
"Come sit."
He leads me to the couch and pulls me down beside him.
I curl into his side and close my eyes.
"Do you want to go? To Thanksgiving at your mom's?" he asks.
"I don't know. I think I'd like to give it a try. Be there as a guest for once." I sigh. "But…"
"But what?"
"It's still bothering me. The fact that I have no idea how much my mother knew. I know she was covering up for Connor and Vivian since the funeral, but how far did she go? Was she just roped into it? Or was it bigger than that?"
Kane considers it. "I could look into it, if you want. Put an investigator on it."
I turn to him. "You'd do that?"
"Of course. If you want me to."
I mull it over in my head. It would be nice, I guess, to finally know the truth. Figure out whether I'm supposed to find the strength to forgive my mother or the strength to cut her off for good.
"Yeah," I say in the end. "That'd be—thank you."
"Of course." He presses his lips to my temple.
Just like that, the topic's closed.
"Okay," he says. "So Thursday at your mom's. What about Wednesday? You said you wanted to host."
"Would that be okay?"
"Of course." He tucks me closer. "We could do it at the bakery, if you want. Have everyone over."
I sit up and look at him. "You mean like Priya and Zara?"
"Yeah. And Yuri. Anton. Stepan. Anyone else you want. No relatives allowed other than Niko."
I snort. "That sounds amazing."
"So let's do it."
I think about it. "You'd really be okay with that?"
"Yeah. I'd rather spend the holiday with you and people who don't make you miserable. And if you want to go to your mom's the day after, I'll go with you."
I lean my head against his shoulder. "What if it's awful?"
"Then we leave early. And come back here to curl up with a cheesy movie I'll hate and that you'll fall asleep ten minutes in."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It is easy. You decide what you want. And then you do it."
I smile. "When did you get so wise?"
"I've always been wise. You're just now noticing."
I laugh and kiss him.
He kisses me back, slow and deep, until I'm pulling him closer and forgetting about everything else.
When we break apart, I settle back against him, feeling lighter than I have in weeks.
Because for the first time, I'm not waiting for my family to make space for me.
I'm making my own space.
And inviting the people I actually want to be there.