CHAPTER 3
”So yeah, lists are the best,” I said. ”They help people stay organized, focused, and goal-oriented. I came up with this one a while back, my list of firsts. Now, I just have to complete it.”
Sam was silent.
Apparently deep in thought.
It didn”t bode well.
”I”d love to get it back.”
He handed the paper over without a word.
”Thank you,” I murmured.
Sam didn”t glance my way while I tucked the paper into my cleavage. Not even a peek. His hands, however, did tighten on the steering wheel. I wished I could read minds—or just his mind. But unfortunately, I was left to wonder.
I”d never liked not knowing.
As we drove on, the stereo changed to a new song, and I couldn”t take it anymore.
”You okay over there?” I asked.
”Yeah,” he said, ”just thinking.”
”About what?”
”Things.”
Wonderful. Now, I was even more curious.
Sam suddenly turned to me and said, ”Have anyone specific in mind?”
I was lost. ”What do you mean?”
”Well, none of the items on your list are checked off,” he said, returning his gaze to the road ahead. ”Least as far as I could tell.”
”Yeah, I know.”
”I noticed a lot of them require two people,” he added. ”Like a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
”You noticed that, huh?” I said.
Sam gave me a look. ”First kiss, first date, first slow dance in the kitchen—still don”t get where that came from.”
From a memory of watching my parents do just that years ago—before everything went wrong. Oh yeah, and a dream I had after watching Captain America travel back in time, choose to stay behind and grow old instead of leaving the love of his life.
There was no way I”d confess any of that to the guy sitting across from me. He already knew too much.
”It”s romantic,” I said through gritted teeth.
”Yeah, Starlet, so are most of the things on your list. I”d have to be blind not to notice.”
Annnd he got it wrong again.
We were discussing something intensely personal—to me anyway—and Sam couldn”t even be bothered to remember the C in Scarlett. Awesome.
”You seeing anyone?” he asked.
I shook my head in disbelief. ”Seriously? You”re asking if I have a boyfriend?”
”Hmmm, and you”re avoiding the question. I”ll try not to read into that.”
”You know, typically when someone asks that question, it”s because they”re secretly in love with the other person.”
A quiet laugh. ”In your dreams, Kent.”
”You don”t know anything about my dreams, Bishop.”
”We”ll see about that. So?” he said after a beat. ”Are you seeing anyone?”
”Not at the moment.”
”Got someone you”re interested in?”
”That,” I said as heat rose to my cheeks, ”is none of your business.”
”You”re right,” he said, shoulders seeming to relax. ”But I”ll take that as a no.”
”It”s a small problem. I”m working on a solution.”
He nodded. ”Which means you haven”t found one yet.”
”Not yet.” I rolled my shoulders back then shot him a look. ”Why so interested?”
Sam held his hands up, easily switching from intense to laid back. ”Hey, I”m just trying to help,” he said.
”How thoughtful of you,” I mumbled.
”Have you told anyone else about your list?”
”My sister knows.”
”That”s it?” When I noddedin confirmation, Sam”s eyes lit up. ”Ah, I see. So, it”s a secret list.”
”Until about ten minutes ago, yes,” I mumbled.
”I”m honored that you shared it with me.”
”One, I didn”t share it with you, Bishop. You hoodwinked the info out of me by holding my list hostage. And two, can we please talk about something else?”
Sam bit back a grin. ”You got it.”
He was quiet for about five seconds before the head shaking started. Then came his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. The last straw was when I noticed how he kept glancing my way with this concerned look on his face.
”What?” I asked.
”Nothing,” he said then, ”just seems like a lot.”
Turning to face him fully, I lifted a brow. ”Meaning?”
”You”ve got what, 20 items on there?” he said.
”22,” I corrected. ”Though there is room for late additions.”
”Okay”—Sam shrugged—”and you said you want to have it done by graduation?”
”That”s right.”
”Why so soon?” he asked.
To get all these firsts out of the way. To experience romance and all the things I”ve read about in books and seen in movies in a controlled environment. To know what love feels like…but not fall. So I won”t run the risk of getting my heart broken.
Even if I told him, I didn”t think Sam would understand. Actually, I didn”t know who would. Everyone seemed so eager to fall in love. Like it was the best thing in the world.
I knew better.
Love could leave you damaged, lonely, devastated.
And it always left. Everyone you love would leave eventually.
I”d rather stick to my list and timeline, thank you very much.
”I have my reasons,” I said.
Sam”s brow furrowed, but he didn”t press me. ”So you”ve got that many things to do, more than half of which need another person.”
”Your point?”
”You”re missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.”
I lifted my hands. ”True, but I”m not worried. I”ll find someone.”
He remained unconvinced. ”Come on, Kent. Your list reads like you”re looking for the boyfriend experience. Some guys are creeps. You can”t choose just anyone.”
”I agree,” I said, ”which is why I came up with another list of criteria.”
”Oh, I can”t wait to hear this,” he said.
I ignored the hint of sarcasm.”Anyone who wants to be my assistant will have to meet certain qualifications.”
”Assistant,” he deadpanned.
”Yeah,” I said then counted off on my fingers. ”He”ll need to love music or at least appreciate good music.”
Sam nodded. ”And?”
”Well, he”ll have to practice good hygiene—”
A quiet laugh.
”—have at least a B average—”
”Are you going to ask for his transcripts?”
”Probably not. But a girl”s got to have standards, Bishop.” I sniffed. I wouldn”t be able to do this with someone who didn”t care about school or couldn”t at least understand why I did. ”He”ll have to be more experienced than me romantically and—”
Sam chuckled, and when I shot him a glare, he said, ”Sorry. It”s just…based on your list, I don”t think that”ll be too hard.”
Instead of feeling embarrassed, I shrugged.
”It”s true,” I said. ”I haven”t done much. I never had the time—which is the whole point of my list. I want to experience things the right way. Have all my romantic firsts be amazing.”
Sam tilted his head.”You know, you can”t plan everything.”
”I can try,” I said.
He didn”t respond, but I thought I caught a flash of amusement in the upturn of his lips.
”And finally, he can”t be cruel—to people or animals. I don”t think it”ll be too hard. Just need to find someone who checks all the boxes.”
There had to be people at my high school who”d meet the minimum requirements.
Right?
”What do they get out of it?” he asked which completely threw me for a loop.
”Huh?”
”Your assistant. What do they get for helping you?”
”I…didn”t think of that,” I murmured. Looking up at Sam, I said, ”Do you think they”ll want something?”
Sam tilted his head from side to side. ”Maybe, maybe not. I”m cynical by nature, so you shouldn”t take what I say too seriously. But in my experience, people don”t help other people just because.”
As we drove past the charming wooden Welcome to Chariot sign, announcing our arrival into the city limits, I pointed at him and said, ”Isn”t that what you”re doing?”
”There”s an exception to every rule, Kent,” he said.
He was right about that—but my mind was reeling.
How had I never considered this?
What could I possibly give someone to convince them to help me complete my list? In my mind, it had been easy. I”d just narrow down the possible candidates, ask one of them to assist, and then we”d get down to business. But that, I realized now, was a dream scenario. What would they ask in return? And what would I do if I had nothing to offer?
It was a lot to think about.
And the more I thought, the more despair I felt.
”Hey,” Sam said gently, ”don”t worry about it. You”ll figure it out.”
”Yeah, but…maybe you”re right,” I said. ”Maybe it”s too much, finding someone, all the items on my list.”
He clucked his tongue. ”You never used to give up so easily,” he said, drawing my attention back to his face.
”What do you mean?” I asked.
”Exactly what I said.” When I remained silent, Sam went on. ”Weren”t you the girl who learned sign language in two weeks so Anessa Langston wouldn”t feel left out?”
My jaw dropped. ”You remember that?”
”Yeah.” Sam gave me a nod. ”I also remember you forcing everyone else in our class to learn too.”
”But that was in the fifth grade,” I said.
”Hmmm. Then in sixth, didn”t you become the youngest person ever to audition and get first chair violin in all-state orchestra?”
”I was.”
”In eighth grade, you organized that meet-and-greet pet drive and didn”t leave until you made sure all the animals went to good homes.”
”My cousin, Viola, helped with that.”
”Yeah, but it was your idea. Wasn”t it?”
I nodded.
”And when we were freshmen, did you or did you not start up your own mentoring program, convince the school board to fund it, and get other students to sign up and help kids without support?”
”Or with absent parents,” I mumbled then shook my head, staring at him like I”d never seen him before. ”How could you possibly know all that?”
Sam rolled his eyes. ”Told you, Kent. We”re not strangers, far from it.”
”Yeah, but who told you about my mentoring program? We weren”t even friends in the ninth grade.”
”Didn”t know we stopped being friends,” he said.
I bit my cheek then said, ”Well, you stopped talking to me after middle school. So, I just assumed.”
He chuckled, but this time it held a bitter edge. ”You stopped talking to me too.”
”Because I didn”t want to embarrass you in front of your jock friends.”
”Whatever you say.”
”You went out of your way to avoid me.”
Sam scoffed.
”You did,” I said. ”You totally froze me out, and I never knew why.”
”Maybe you made yourself believe that,” he said, ”because you were the one embarrassed. You couldn”t handle the fact that I was just a jock and you were what you”ve always been.”
”Oh, and what”s that?”
”An overachieving know-it-all.”
My turn to scoff.
”Perfect Scarlett Kent,” Sam said. ”I get it. You didn”t want to lower yourself to be seen with a guy like me.”
”That is ridiculous,” I said.
”More ridiculous than you thinking I wouldn”t want you to talk to me in front of the guys on the team? Please.” He pulled the car to a stop then turned to face me. ”They wouldn”t have cared.”
”Yeah, right,” I retorted.
”And even if they did, I wouldn”t.I”ve never cared what anyone thought.”
That was true. Sam Bishop didn”t give two cents what anyone else thought or had to say about him. I”d alwaysenvied that, thought of it as one of his magical superpowers. Still…
”That was before everyone knew your name,” I said, and he frowned. ”Before you got on the radar of every student in Chariot High. The guys wanted to be you, the girls wanted to date you.”
He released a scoff, but it was true.
”You became the Sam Bishop, and like you said, I stayed who I always was. Just Scarlett.”
He shook his head. ”You”re the one who froze me out.”
”No, I didn”t.”
”Yeah, you did.”
”I never would”ve done that,” I said. ”You were my best friend.”
”And you were mine,” he said.
His voice tried to wrap its way around my heart, but I wouldn”t let it. Couldn”t. Breaking away from his intense gaze, I stared out the window, surprised to find that we were on the street in front of my house.
When did we get here?
I”d been so absorbed in our conversation that I wasn”t aware of my surroundings.
”I should go,” I said, gathering my things and reaching to open the car door. ”Thank you again for the ride.”
”Wait,” Sam said.
When I turned, he cupped my face in his hands, stared into my eyes, slowly leaned forward, and placed the sweetest kiss against my forehead.
My breath caught in my throat.
It only lasted a moment, but I swear I heard a symphony playing in my ears.
As he leaned back, I was speechless. Sam”s lips tilted up into a half-grin, and he said, ”To help with your list.”
I nodded, sliding from the car, feeling like I was walking on air.
”Call the garage tomorrow, and we”ll send someone to pick up your car,” he said. ”Friends discount.”
Turning back around, I tilted my head, meeting Sam”s gaze through the open window. ”It”s okay, you know. To admit you forgot about me.”
”I never forgot.”
”Hmmm, and yet, you called me Starlet for the majority of the ride.”
Sam met my gaze steadily. ”You wanted to be an actress.”
”What?” I laughed.
”You said it was your calling. You had a lot of those. This one lasted about a month—during which time you forced me to watch Schitt”s Creek every day after school. We were ten.”
I swallowed, the memory assaulting me all at once.
He was right.
I remembered it like it was yesterday. The two of us going to Sam”s house, sitting on the couch, binge-watching the series, eating popcorn and laughing until our sides hurt. The sad moment when I had to go home—and those giddy final minutes as he walked with me to my house. I had wanted to be an actress. More specifically, I”d wanted to be Moira Rose with her fabulous clothes, her wonderfully quirky family, and her unshakeable belief in herself.
”I started calling you Starlet, and you said you loved it.”
I definitely didn”t hate it.
”Like I said.” Sam gave a shrug. ”I never forgot.”
”No, I guess you didn”t,” I said softly. Shaking myself, I added, ”Thanks again, Bishop. I”ll see you at school.”
He nodded. ”Good luck with your list.”
”Hmmm, I think I”ll need it.”
”Nah, you”ll get it done,” Sam said. ”You just have to find the right partner.”
At that, one thought flashed bright as a star in my mind.
I was pretty sure I”d already found him.