Chapter Seventeen
LOLA
My feet ache. I didn't know a day full of shopping could do that. Not that I have never been shopping, but I think there is a difference between rich-person shopping and regular-people shopping.
I think I prefer the regular type. Even when we had money, and Dad was getting further and further into debt with work for the wrong people—another fault of Enzo.
Well, if I'm utterly fair, Enzo's father. But he is still cut from the same cloth, right? Because he is rich. He can swoop in and buy startups and take over.
No, he is from the same cloth, rich and ruthless. I just wish he wasn't so damn hot.
I fan myself and flop down on the sofa in my tiny apartment, my feet throbbing.
It didn't help that Ruby's number one conversational matter was Enzo.
How hot he was, did he have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and was he open to her, or did his work interest begin and end with me?
I blow out a breath.
The thing is, I don't want him. I—
"Stop it." I groan.
Then I shift my thoughts back to shopping.
Definitely a different experience. But this time, I didn't spend money I don't have.
Then again, I didn't before. I lived in luxury, and I would buy some new things... the difference was the price. But the Birkin was sold, and my designer clothes went to a consignment store.
My shopping trips were tag-alongs with the girls whose fathers moved in my dad's circles. Very rich girls who were able to shop at places that opened by appointment.
I pick up my one bag: some extra panties that were on sale at Wolford's, but in there is something else that makes my heart stutter crazily in my chest.
A dusky rose-red lace and silk panty and bra set from La Perla.
"Oh, my God..."
We went there—to Wolford's for stockings and then La Perla for lingerie.
Ruby believes in dressing well, right down to her skin.
My cotton panties were on a super sale, ten dollars each, but they are quality. I most certainly didn't buy the three-hundred-dollar set I had my eye on.
I text Ruby. What were you thinking? I can't accept.
Ruby
Rude. The right words are thank you.
I roll my eyes.
Me
Thanks. But I can't afford them.
Ruby
A gift.
Me
I will pay you back.
Ruby's message just bubbles, but she doesn't write anything.
Somehow, from what I know of her, paying her back is going to be near impossible, but I promise myself to try when I have funds.
Then I set my phone down and close my eyes.
I should be all tense muscles and a bunch of tiredness wrapped up in denim and cotton. But I'm not. It turns out that while shopping might not be my thing, spending time and having fun with a friend—a real friend—is.
I feel good.
Best of all, I don't think I thought about Alex more than once. Okay, twice.
But Ruby is a bundle of energetic fun, and it entertained me to watch men fall over themselves to impress her or help her when all she did was sail through it all without seeming to notice.
When I said something about it, all she did was wink and state, "Make them work for it and then give it to someone who deserves you."
Of course, it doesn't take long for my problems, if you can call them that, to return.
Worse than that, they feel magnified.
I don't have Alex's number anymore.
And his failure to contact me after his last text hurts.
Perhaps it means he just doesn't care.
Why would he? We don't know each other, not even what we look like.
But... I thought that was part of the appeal.
And though I don't want to admit it, he has become someone special, someone I could find myself with, be myself. So stupid.
Ruby was right when we talked about him. I know nothing at all about him, and now, after all I have done, including sending a racy few photos that make my cheeks burn, he has disappeared.
Surely, he would have tried to contact me.
And here I am, questioning if there is any real connection or if any of it was even real.
Now there isn't even an excuse about perhaps he is waiting for me or he somehow lost my number, too...
Silas would have contacted him, passed him my number.
He has had all day.
"I'm sixteen all over again. Only this time, there is actually a guy I'm waiting for, someone real."
Before the whole pool thing in the backyard I entered illegally, Alex texted me every day. Sometimes, just to chat. Sometimes, to flirt. Other times, to ask how I was or even just to wish me sweet dreams.
My heart, my stupid heart, aches, and a spot in my chest grows cold.
Maybe there was never a connection, and—
My phone lights up.
I suck down the sudden surge of excitement. It is probably Ruby...
I look at it.
Not Ruby.
My heart thuds hard.
I don't recognize the number, but I know who it is.
Alex
I'm hurt you didn't save my number.
My heart dances in my chest.
I don't think I realized until this very moment how much I enjoy our conversations.
Me
Thought I had. I broke my phone.
Alex
Really? What did you do? Throw it from a tenth-floor window?
Heat warms my cheeks even though there is no one to see me, and I sit up, pulling my legs up on the sofa and sitting cross-legged as a thrill loaded with shame shoots through me.
Me
Something like that.
No way am I telling him what really happened, that I smashed it in a fit of panic.
Alex
Did you check the cloud, since it sounds like you messed it right up.
Me
Yep.
Alex
Still...
I take a breath, holding it as I wait for his next text.
Still? What does he mean? That he doesn't believe me? It is the truth. Sort of.
Alex
Phones these days take a lot to take down.
Me
The screen was smashed to the point I couldn't see a thing.
Alex
Really?
I groan. The man is like a dog with a bone.
Me
Really. How have you been?
Alex
Oh no. You're not getting away with this so easily. I can smell a story. What did you do?
Me
I smashed it, okay?
Alex
It's just a phone. If you didn't like what was on there, you could have just closed down whatever you had open.
What did you have open, anyway?
Me
Nothing.
Alex
Nothing?
I glare at my phone. Nothing, but I didn't want my boss to see.
Alex
The infamous Enzo?
The name sends an electric bolt through me.
Me
So glad you're doing well. I am, too.
Alex
Nope, you don't get out of it that easy, Lola.
Another thrill races through me at the sight of him using my name.
Me
Out of what?
Alex
What you didn't want him to see.
Me
Nothing.
Alex
So, you didn't throw it out a window?
Me
You're an idiot. No. I might have stomped on it.
Alex
LOL
Me
You can go away again.
Alex
Not a chance. So, what didn't you want him to see?
I find myself telling him about Enzo being annoying and micromanaging my every move and telling me how he would take my phone if he caught me on it.
Alex
Dirty girl. He caught you.
My cheeks flame higher.
Me
No.
Alex
Why not hand it over? Why murder the phone?
Me
Because there might have been a few questionable search entries about him and some other things.
Alex
You like him!
Me
Hardly. But it's not cool if I'm searching for criminal activities of my new boss. Besides, there was also that lengthy text history between us. And those pictures. God knows what Enzo would have thought if he'd seen that.
Alex
That I'm a lucky fucker, no doubt.
My stomach twists, and the fire stirs deep between my thighs.
Me
No, he doesn't like me.
Alex
Not what I said.
And you? How do you feel about him?
How do I feel?
I don't like him, to put it mildly. I don't trust him. And Alex knows the last part, probably he can guess at the first part since I hired his PI contact.
And I'm not about to go into my childhood, my father, or Enzo's family.
Mafia and criminal connections, even if they are adjacent or through birth, are a no-no to talk about with regular people.
So, I skirt it. But I'm lost at what to say.
How do I feel?
Thing is, I hate Enzo.
But I have eyes. He is gorgeous by any standards.
Alex
Are you attracted to him, Lola?
The butterflies in my stomach swarm and swirl.
Am I?
Me
We're honest, right?
Alex
Right. And you can be attracted to more than one person. Just like you can hate more than one.
My fingers curl around my phone.
Did he somehow reach through my phone and read my thoughts?
Me
Objectively, he's a good-looking guy, so of course, I am. The entire staff is. You would be.
Alex
Nope.
Me
You haven't met him.
Alex
I feel like I know him. And besides, I'm more interested in you.
Me
You ignored me.
Alex
You ignored me, and I was very busy. Figured I'd leave it with you until I got back to the Big Apple.
I'm back in the Big Apple.
Me
And here you are.
My heart thumps.
Alex
And here I am.
Me
Why are you so interested in if I like him?
Alex
I'm interested in if you like anyone.
Me
Why?
Alex
I have got certain...kinks. Nothing weird, I don't think. But I find it hot thinking about you fucking another guy.
My clit throbs, and I frown.
Me
In what way? Just me fucking random people?
Alex
You wanting me and also me directing you when you see someone you're attracted to. That fantasy gets me hot.
My clit throbs again as my pussy aches.
A fantasy to get him hot is me being with someone else... And he made it sound like he would be there, watching...
I love that idea, of belonging to someone and being told what to do with someone else I might have the hots for.
Control. Giving it up. Wielding it.
The whole concept makes my panties wet.
Shit, I'm losing it.
I wait for a response, but none comes. I'm aware I didn't send something for him to respond to, but Alex just hit me with a lot.
So, I take a moment to breathe.
I set my phone down, turning the volume up to the first ping, and go into my bedroom with my purchases.
Alex watching me with someone else, even thinking of someone else, because at its core it would be that, right? Alex watching so he could... I'm not sure what he could or would do, but it all means he would have to be there in the room, he would have to watch.
The throbbing ache moves deeper, small waves of sexual desire take me, and I strip down, deciding to get ready for bed.
I look down.
My sex glistens with my arousal.
I don't think I have ever been this turned on in my life.
"Get it together, Lourdes." I try to drag myself out of the haze that has settled around me.
I go to my cheap dresser. I had to sell all my old furniture. I knew it was worth more to sell to an antiques collector—worth more than keeping. Worth it to sell and buy a cheap IKEA flatpack and have a good amount left over.
I pull out my oversized nightshirt. I might as well get comfy.
But I hesitate, and instead of putting on the shirt, I slide on the lace panties and the delicate bra.
And I suck in a sharp breath.
I look good.
Sexy.
The phone pings.
"Shit." I race out and grab my phone.
My heart thuds wildly at the sight of Alex's name, and I head back to my room, phone against my chest.
Alex
Did I scare you?
Me
No.
Alex
Turn you on?
I lay down.
My laptop is on the bed next to me, but I roll to my back and type on my phone.
My shaking finger hovers.
I could lie. But where is the fun in that?
This is fantasy. And fantasy is a place to be true to yourself, to give in where you wouldn't in real life.
Me
Yes.
I'm horny as hell, and I stroke a hand down my body, sliding over my skin to my pussy, and over the lace, the delicate material lightly rubbing me as I do so.
I bite my lip and sigh, sliding under the edge of the lace to stroke my wet flesh, soft, and every single part something that sings with a million nerve endings when mind and flesh merge.
Right now, it is natural, sensual, and I tease my opening, running my fingers between the lips and up to my clit and back again.
Every stroke stokes fires. Every touch is a sigh and promise of more.
The phone pings.
Alex
Are you touching yourself?
My cheeks burn, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it is embarrassment—being caught in the act. And it all bundles together to make me hotter, wetter.
With my free hand, I type back.
Me
Why? Are you interested?
Alex
I'm always interested in everything to do with you.
I shudder.
Me
You don't know me.
Alex
I know the essence of you. Who you are at your core.
Me
No, you don't.
I stop touching myself and start to slide my hand free when the phone pings again.
Alex
No one hides when talking to a stranger they never expect to meet.
You haven't tried to impress me, you're fun, daring, and hot.
You went into that pool, Lola. And you were scared and turned on at the same time.
I know that. You'd have to find it thrilling and hot to do it.
Anyone would. So, yeah, I know you at your core.
My breath catches.
Me
What would you do if you were here?
Alex
I know exactly what I'd do, but that's not our game. Our game is what I'd let your Enzo do.
Me
He's not my anything.
Alex
In this, he is.
I swallow hard.
Me
What?
Alex
Pretend I'm there, standing in a corner. Watching as this Enzo gives in to the desire he has for you. It's hot, that. Another man wanting what's mine, thinking he will get it.
My hand is back in my panties.
Me
And that is?
Alex
You.
A roll of delight washes over me, and I tremble.
Alex
I'd let him kiss you, touch you all over.
Suck your nipples, and then I'd let him feast before he moves down.
Between your thighs, I'd let him pat the folds and lick, slip his fingers into you, and thrust until you're quivering and warmed up to the point you're ready to explode. I'd let him ready you for me.
I swallow, moaning. I move my hand up to my breasts, rubbing and pulling, and then, as I read, shift back down to my pussy, pushing into myself as his words rock me.
Me
He'd let you?
Alex
In this fantasy, he'd have no choice. When you're on the brink of coming, he'd step aside and let me come in to finish the job. I'd thrust into you, stretching you, fucking you deep and hard where he was soft, and then I'd mark you as mine.
My breath is in short, uneven bursts as my body's pleasure builds and builds as I rub my clit and thrust my fingers into me, rocking on the edge of release.
Alex
Because you can play, but you belong to me, Lola. Every last orgasm. Every inch. Every hole.
I come hard, shattering as I read the words, and after, I come back down, exhausted.
Alex
Did you come?
Me
Yes.
Alex
Good girl.
Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.
Tomorrow...
We have—we have turned some sort of corner. And...
I don't know what to think.
There is Alex.
There is Enzo.
And I think...
I think I want them both.