Swipe For Merpeople (Love Bites)

Chapter 1

Mira

I GROANED IN FRUSTRATION . For the second time this month, my truck broke down. For the second time this month, I was stuck who knew where for who knew how long.

For all normal people, this wouldn’t be a big deal. Sweeps, the company I was working for, would pay me for the time wasted and would even cover my stay at the truck stop.

Sure, truck stops didn’t have the best accommodations, but I was used to sleeping in my truck. Sleeping in an actual bed would be heavenly, even if it wasn’t some ritzy hotel. Or even a crappy motel.

The real problem was that I’d be sitting in one place for days, if not weeks, without any means of escape if my past caught up to me.

I pulled out my phone, but instead of calling the dispatcher to have them deal with my truck, I went to the GPS. I needed to know what to expect from this place. How dangerous was it? Would anyone be able to tell I wasn't all that human? Would anyone care?

The town of Whynot was only five miles down the road. There was a beach that would probably be too public for me, and there was a smaller stream flowing into the river Sticks that might be private enough to get my fluke wet. After years on the run, I’d learned to appreciate every opportunity to swim like mother nature had intended.

And then I noticed the names of the businesses. The Magic Bean Coffee Shop, the Magic Brews shop, the Love Bites Dating Agency. Hell, even Curl Up and Dye salon was screaming one thing and one thing only—the town was full of supernatural. Yes, all the references to magic gave it away, but the puns sealed the deal.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I considered the town. A mermaid on the run didn't get many chances to talk to the other supes. With my need to conceal my identity, I had also stopped wearing cute dresses and tops, opting for everything baggy and unappealing.

I could first call the dispatcher to inform them that my truck broke down. If it seemed like I would be stuck in town for a few days, I could try the dating agency to have a chance to do something normal, like going on a date.

“I dialed the number and waited. As always, Darla picked up on the second ring.

“Sweeps. Darla speaking. How may I help you?”

“Hi, Darla. It’s Mira White,” I said, giving my fake name that had no connections to my past life except one: I used to love Hello Kitty, so, of course, I took her last name and kind of sort of her twin sister’s first name. “You know how my truck broke down a couple of weeks ago and then it got fixed? About that...”

Darla groaned. “That thing needs to get scrapped. Give me a minute.”

Keys clicked on the other side. Darla had an appreciation for mechanical keyboards, swore they let her type faster. I never had anything but my trusty laptop, so I had no way to tell if she was onto something or not.

After a minute, Darla’s voice came back on the line. “Okay, I see where you’re located. Someone will be there to pick your truck up shortly, but unless you want to drive away from the nearest truck stop, you need to get yourself a ride. And send me all the receipts.” She thought for a moment. “You know what, if you can, splurge a little. Not enough to make it look like you’re milking the company but enough to help me prove that giving you a new truck will be cheaper in the long run than continuing to pay for you to sit around doing nothing all day.”

“You think I could get a brand new one?” That would be kinda awesome.

“Of course, you can. Now, sit tight and don’t let the mosquitoes bite.”

With the woods on both sides, mosquitoes really were a problem. For most people. For some reason, they never bothered me, but after I had learned I was a mermaid, things started to make more sense. A lot of things. Not all of them but quite a few.

To pass the time, I checked how easily I could get a ride out here, but none of the apps I usually relied on got me any hits.

Ugh. The only thing worse than a small town was a magical small town. It’s like they didn’t believe in taxi services or something. What were they using? Rent-A-Broom?

Actually, that might not be a bad idea. I should check all possible puns.

No Broom-Broom Rides. No Broomerang Car Services. No Voodoo Like a Ride. Oh, look at that, they had a Fin-Dings Investigations. Not that it would help me get a ride.

Giving up on this last-ditch effort, I checked how long it would take me to walk to the truck stop. And just like that, the town that was only a five-minutes' ride away turned into a daunting hour-and-a-half walk. Oh well. My legs needed it, anyway.

One of the first lessons I learned after getting my CDL was that my legs would turn into useless chunks of meat if I didn’t make a conscious effort to use them. No, kicking the tire every time I got out of the truck didn’t qualify and neither did walking to the register.

Another thing I learned was that walking alone wasn’t enough. I had to keep my back in shape. Hence the kettlebell I always kept in the truck. The very kettlebell I would have to carry with me into town. While walking there.

My phone dinged with a text message from an unknown number. I almost ignored it until I read “Bewitcha soon.”

Ummm... Okay then. Whatever that was all about.

Instead of dwelling on my predicament, I started putting my bag together. Fortunately, I had my trusty hiker backpack. The thing strapped onto my body so well I hardly felt the weight of it. Which was awesome because a twenty-pound kettlebell would be hell any other way.

As I put the last shirt into the bag, the truck showed up to tow my hulking wheels away. I waved to the driver and climbed out.

“Well, hello there,” the man said as his eyes slid down my body, leaving a slimy trail behind.

Did he never see a woman or something? I went out of my way not to look attractive, so it’s not like I was oozing sex appeal he could drool over.

“Here to get my truck?” I asked him, doing my best to ignore the way he was checking me out.

“I could do more than just tow your truck,” he answered.

“No, you can’t.” A part of me wanted to ask if he knew of a reliable car service, but I knew better. At best, he would offer me a ride. At worst, he would offer me a different kind of ride. It was a hard no to both.

I’d dealt with sleaze bags my whole life—my father being the worst of them all. That asshole had actually tried to sell me to traffickers. Fortunately, I had overheard him talking to them on the phone. I’ve been on the run ever since.

This guy? He was nothing.

I stepped away and watched as he worked. The last thing I needed was for him to break my truck any more than it already was.

Just as Mister Slimy finished, a baby blue BMW i3 rolled up. It looked like a toy next to two trucks. The tinted window rolled down, and the driver poked her head out. She looked like an eighty-year-old Barbie doll, except I couldn’t recall any Barbie dolls from that particular collection who dyed their hair brown.

“Hey, gorgeous. I hear you need a ride to Whynot,” the woman said. “Oh, where are my manners? I'm Myrtle. You got my message?”

Ah, magical towns—even when I hated them, I also kinda loved them. “I do need a ride. Thank you.”

“I coulda given you a ride,” Mister Slimy said with a wink.

“Absolutely not. She has a perfectly nice gentleman waiting for her at home,” Myrtle lied. “And a gorgeous one, too. My girl here knows how to pick them, don’t you, honey?”

“He is the best,” I agreed and hurried to the passenger door.

Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted a random old lady, and usually, I wouldn’t have, but supernatural folks never tried to exploit me. And just like that, I fell into Myrtle’s trap.

“Thank you so much for the ride,” I said as she pulled away in her shoe-box size car. “I tried to find any kind of taxi service, but there were none.

“Well, you know what they say about thank yous—you can’t spread it on a slice of bread.”

I was not aware of anyone saying that, but okay. “I could buy you some butter or cream cheese as a thank you?”

Myrtle waved it away. “Those fats would go straight to my ass. No, the only way you can thank me properly is if you tried the Love Bites Dating Agency.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be in town long enough for that.” Not that I hadn’t considered it. Dating sites might say they were for finding true love, but everyone knew most people on them simply wanted to get laid but didn’t want to be too obvious about it, the way it would be if they used Tinder.

Myrtle snorted in response, and as she did, my phone started ringing. I had a really bad feeling about this.

As I checked the caller ID, the bad feeling intensified. “Hello.”

“Mira, are you okay? Please, tell me you didn’t stay with your truck,” Darla rapid-fired at me.

“No, why?”

“It crashed into a bridge.”

I mentally remapped my route. There was a highway to the right that would’ve been shorter, but I hadn’t been able to take it because the bridge was too low for my truck to go under. Surely, Mister Slimy wouldn’t have...

“What’s the damage?”

“I don’t know the full extent, but the roof is completely gone.” Darla’s voice went uncharacteristically high pitched. “Good news, though, it’s sure to get you a new one. I mean, you can’t drive without a roof.”

Most of my stuff was in my truck. Why was this my life?

It was fine. I was fine. Everything else was replaceable. There was no reason to start strangling people. Like this sweet old lady driving me to Whynot. Surely, this wasn’t her doing. Surely, she didn’t want me on that dating site so badly she would hex my truck.