Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
MACKENZIE
“We need to talk.” The words tumble out of Nate’s mouth like a death sentence. Blood drains from my face as my heart thuds like a jackhammer. Fuck. This is it. He’s leaving. I’ve been dreading this moment since the first time he laid his hands on me. Since the first time he made me feel something other than numb. I’m not ready to say goodbye to him, to the way he makes my body come alive, to the way he’s burrowed under my skin and into my soul.
His voice is steady, but his eyes—those fucking molten honey eyes—betray him. They’re clouded with something I can’t quite place. Fear? Dread? Regret? Whatever it is, it’s enough to make my stomach churn.
“Hold that thought,” I blurt out, my voice trembling. “I want to go check on the boys.”
I bolt down the hall, my legs shaky, my insides a war zone. I can’t do this. I can’t let him go. Not yet. Not when I’ve finally found someone who makes me happy after years of just existing. Not when he’s the only one who’s ever made me feel like a woman again.
I push open the door to the boys’ room. They’re sprawled out in their beds, deep asleep. Peaceful. Their angelic faces don’t have a care in the world. My heart breaks. They’ve already lost one father figure. How the hell are they going to handle losing Nate?
“Fuck,” I whisper, running a hand through my hair. Jordan’s words echo in my mind. Damn it. He was right. I shouldn’t have let Nate get so close. But it’s too late for that now. Too late to protect my heart and theirs.
I fight back the tears threatening to spill and head to the bathroom. If this is it, if this is my last night with him, I’m going to make it count. I’m going to remind him exactly what he’s walking away from.
I freshen up and ignore my trembling hands as I swipe on a coat of red lipstick and slip into Jill’s gift—The Enticer. The black lace clings to my curves like a second skin, the sheer fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. My tits spill out of the front-closure bra, my nipples already hard from the thought of what’s coming next. The G-string hugs my ass like it was made for me, and the spiked heels make my legs look endless.
I glance at my reflection, my breath catching in my throat. “Jesus Christ,” I mutter. I look like I belong in some raunchy porno, not standing in my hallway about to seduce a man who’s about to break my fucking heart.
But that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
I find Nate by the window, his broad shoulders tense, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He doesn’t even hear me come in, too lost in whatever thoughts are tearing him apart.
I clear my throat, and he turns around.
“Holy fuck.” Honey-rich eyes widen as they rake over me. His gaze lingers on my tits, my hips, and my thighs before finally meeting my eyes. The hunger in his stare sets my entire body on fire, and I can feel the wetness pooling between my legs.
“You like?” I ask, my voice dripping with seduction.
He doesn’t answer with words. Instead, he strides over to me, grabs my waist, and pulls me against him. His cock is already hard, pressing against my stomach through his jeans, and it takes everything in me not to moan at the contact .
“Fuck yeah, I like,” he growls, his voice low and husky.
He finds my neck and kisses me softly, flicking his tongue against my skin. His hands roam over my body, cupping my breasts, squeezing them, and teasing my pebbled nipples through the lace. A moan escapes my lips the moment I feel his cock twitch against me.
“Bedroom,” I whisper, guiding him down the hall.
He doesn’t argue, his hands never leaving my body as I lead him to bed. I push him down and work my fingers quickly to unbutton his shirt until exposing his chiseled abs that drive me fucking wild. I take my time running my palms across every ridge and valley before moving to his belt.
“Mackenzie,” he groans, his voice strained as I unzip his jeans and pull them down, along with his briefs. His cock springs free, thick and hard, the tip already wet with precum. I wrap my hand around the shaft, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat thrumming against my palm. “I wanted to talk first.”
He tosses his head back with another guttural groan that sends a shiver straight to my core.
“Shh.” I press a finger to his lips, silencing him. My heart pounds, the rhythm matching the steady pace of my hand. “Talking is overrated.” Before he can protest, I cup his balls, feeling the weight of them in my palm, and give them a gentle squeeze. “Lie back.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He leans back on his elbows, chest heaving. His eyes darken with lust as they follow me, crawling onto the bed, my hips swaying with every movement.
I’ve never felt this bold, this dominant before. Maybe The Enticer works in reverse because it sure as hell entices me to explore a side of myself I never knew existed.
Nate’s expression is pure heat, his jaw clenched, his gaze raking over me like he’s about to devour me whole. The look alone is empowering, let alone encouraging.
I position myself between his legs, my eyes locked on him as I take my palm and rub the length of his cock. Damn, he was blessed in the manhood department. It’s the kind of dick that makes me wet just looking at it. I lean down and wrap my red-painted lips around the tip of his cock. His hips jerk violently, and I moan around him, the vibrations making him curse under his breath.
“Fuck, you’re so goddamn beautiful.” He brushes the back of his fingers against my cheek as I bob my head, taking him deeper with each stroke.
I swirl my tongue around the tip, teasing him, savoring the salty taste of his precum before sinking down again. My hands work the base of his cock in time with my mouth, my fingers tightening and loosening in a rhythm that has him gasping. He’s larger than anyone I’ve ever done this to, and self-doubt rears its ugly head. I hope he’s enjoying this as much as I like giving.
But I’m not done yet. I want to make this last. I want to drive him wild .
I pull back slightly, letting his cock slip from my lips, and trail my tongue down the underside of his shaft. His velvety skin is hot under my mouth, the veins throbbing as I tease him with feather-light licks and kisses. I take one of his balls into my mouth, sucking gently. He twitches and moans about me. His cock jerks in response, and I smile against his skin as I release him and move to the other side.
“Fucking hell, Mackenzie,” he breathes, his voice ragged. “You’re going to kill me.”
“Good,” I practically purr, my lips brushing against his inner thigh as I work my way back up. I take him into my mouth again, this time deeper, and feel his cock hit the back of my throat. I swallow around him, the sensation making him groan and curse my name again. My fingers explore further, dragging along his perineum with just the right amount of pressure. His hips buck, and I tighten my grip on the base of his cock to keep him steady.
“Grace.” My name comes out rough and desperate. “ If you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”
But I don’t stop. I can’t. Not when he feels this good in my mouth. Not when every moan and shudder from him makes me wetter and hungrier. I suck harder, faster, my hand pumping his cock in time
with the rhythm of my mouth. My other hand continues to tease his balls and perineum, my fingertips brushing against the sensitive spot that makes him jerk and curse.
He’s so close. I can feel it—the way his cock throbs in my mouth, the way his breath hitches, the way his muscles tense beneath me. But I don’t let up. Instead, I take him deeper, swallowing him whole until he’s buried to the hilt, his cock pulsing in my throat.
“Fuck!” he shouts, his hips jerking as he comes hard, his cum spilling down my throat in hot, thick waves. I swallow every drop, my tongue lapping at him until he’s trembling beneath me, completely spent.
“Holy shit.” His chest heaves as I finally release him and crawl up beside him. His voice is still rough as he says, “You surprised me, Grace.”
I chuckle at the nickname, running a hand over his sweat-slicked chest. “I didn’t fall off the bed. I think I did well.”
He rolls over and pins me on my back, his cock half hard already. “You did more than well, babe. You fucking wrecked me.”
My mouth parts as I feel his length hardening on my stomach. “I thought you’d need some time.”
“I only need seconds. Not hours.”
“Impressive, old man.”
“I’ll show you exactly what this old man can do.”
And he does.
I gasp as he thrusts into me, filling me completely. His movements are slow and deliberate, his eyes locked on mine as he fucks me. There’s something different this time, something deeper, more intense. I feel it with every thrust, every moan, every look. An unspoken love that somehow existed but chose this moment to shine.
I feel it.
All of it .
My legs wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper, until that pressure builds and pleasure coils in my stomach. His pace quickens, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside me. I cry out as I come undone, my orgasm crashing over me like a fucking tidal wave.
He rides me through it, his own orgasm following soon after, his cum filling me as he collapses on top of me, his breath hot against my neck.
We lie there, tangled together, neither of us speaking. But I can feel it. That shift. That connection. It’s there, raw and unspoken, and it terrifies me almost as much as the thought of him leaving.
Almost.
Because as his arms wrap around me, pulling me closer, I know one thing for sure. I’ve already lost my heart to this man, and there’s no getting it back.
“No!”
My eyes fly open from a harsh sound. Thinking it came from the kids, I move to check on them when Nate thrashes beside me.
“No. Breathe.” His voice cracks as his body shakes.
“Nate.” I shake his shoulder, but he continues to jerk. I’m not sure what to do.
I glance at the clock on the nightstand. It’s three am. A sense of helplessness washes over me as I watch Nate fight whatever nightmare is gripping him. He’s never done this before, at least not while I’m beside him. If this is a regular occurrence, it would explain why he never stays the night.
“Nate!” My voice is firmer this time as I shake him harder, but his body continues to convulse. His face contorts in pain, sweat beading his forehead as his eyes dart back and forth beneath closed lids.
“Blood. So much blood everywhere. ”
Lordy, what is he remembering? Somehow, I don’t think it relates to Liam.
“No! I’m losing you.”
His words spark a memory. “I’m not losing you, too.” He’s lost someone before. Someone close to him.
“Nate. You’re having a bad dream,” I yell louder and shake his shoulder again.
He gasps as his eyes pop open, his breaths under rapid fire. He blinks rapidly, looking around the room in confusion before his gaze finally lands on me.
Slowly, realization dawns on him, and the fear in his eyes evaporates, replaced with regret and shame.
“Christ. I didn’t hit you, did I?” he asks between pants.
“No, of course not.” I rise on my elbow to study him. He stares up at the ceiling, breathing still labored. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. A pattern he keeps up until his breaths even. After a few moments of being calm, he speaks, “Sometimes I have nightmares. They’ve been better lately. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
He reaches out and pulls me against him. He doesn’t say anything for the longest time. We just lie next to each other until his heartbeat calms. After a few long beats, he whispers, “We’ll talk in the morning. Get some sleep.”
“Okay.” I may agree, but as I snuggle in Nate’s arms, I know I won’t get much sleep.