Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
NATE
“So, why didn’t you tell her the truth again?” Mark eyes me over his ridiculous stack of pancakes.
Instead, I just spent twenty minutes explaining my entire Dear John mess, and based on the way Mark’s smirking at me, I can already tell he’s confirmed what I already knew.
I’m a dumbass.
“I was carrying out Ethan’s wishes.” My voice is low as I push my eggs around the plate. “He gave me specific instructions not to tell her about our connection. At first, I thought I was doing the honorable thing.”
Now, I realize how much of a mistake that was.
Mark’s shoulders shake as he spears a sausage link and dunks it in the syrup. “Ethan was always a sadistic son of a bitch.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
He shoves the sausage in his mouth, still laughing, and shakes his head. “Don’t you get it?”
Obviously not. “Get what?”
Mark leans back, folding his arms. “He knew you’d fall for her. This is his way of either giving you an out or making you work for it if that’s what you wanted.”
I scoff. “You can’t possibly know that.”
But even as I say the words, a sharp memory cuts through my denial.
Don’t worry if you fall in love with her. She’s easy to love.
The line from Ethan’s letter slams into me like a wrecking ball. My chest tightens. Surely, Ethan wouldn’t have set this up.
Would he?
Mark raises an eyebrow as if reading my mind. “Still think I’m wrong?”
I exhale sharply, my grip tightening on my coffee cup. Mackenzie is easy to love. I’ve known that for a while now. But it isn’t just her. It’s how she puts her kids before anything else. How her smile turns shy when she’s embarrassed. How she makes me feel calm and steady, like the sharp edges of my past aren’t so jagged when she’s around.
It wasn’t just falling for her. It was falling for the life she had built. For the version of myself, I see when I’m with her.
Mark watches me carefully, waiting.
I shake my head. “It doesn’t mean Ethan planned it.”
Mark snorts. “Look, I knew my cousin. He was one hell of a jerk, but he loved Mackenzie in his own way. He just loved chasing adrenaline more. So yeah, I know he set you up to fail.”
The surrounding conversations dull. My worst fear rises in my throat. Did Ethan want this? Would he have approved?
“You don’t think he wanted me to be with her?” In a sick sort of way, part of me had wished for his blessing—a justification for falling for my friend’s wife.
“I’m not saying that.” Mark shakes his head. “It’s more like the opposite. He wanted you to earn her. If you played the savior, it’d be too easy. Mackenzie wouldn’t fall for that. But if she found out the hard way? If you had to fight for her? Then he knew you were serious.”
“That’s some fucked up shit right there.”
He throws his arms out wide. “As I said, a sadistic son of a bitch.”
I let out a slow breath, rubbing my hands over my face. It’s insane. But damn, if it doesn’t sound like something Ethan would do.
And if it’s true, then I have my answer.
Mark watches me for a long moment and then shakes his head with a smirk. “You’re gonna fight like hell for her, aren’t you?”
I meet his gaze, determination strengthening my resolve. “Damn right, I am.”
Mark chuckles, reaching for his orange juice. “Good. Because I’m pretty sure Ethan was counting on it.”