Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
NATE
“This is where we’re staying for the weekend?” Mackenzie’s voice holds an edge of excitement, but her wide, wonder-filled eyes steal my breath. The afternoon light catches the sea-glass green, making them glow brighter.
I knew she’d love it.
Relief courses through me, loosening the knots in my stomach that had been twisting since I picked her up. This weekend is about more than just time away. It’s about laying everything bare and finally telling the truth. The part that haunts me. The part that might make her hate me.
“It is,” I confirm. “Do you like it?”
“Like? I love it. The place is stunning.”
“If we had more time, I would’ve taken you on a real vacation.”
She turns to me with that soft smile I’ve missed more than I want to admit. “It’s perfect. I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.”
Something tightens in my chest. I swallow it down and focus on the task at hand—getting through this weekend without completely unraveling.
Inside, the open floor plan makes the space feel endless. Sunlight spills through the tall windows, warming the French country décor, and the view from the back patio is enough to make anyone pause .
Just as she described her childhood fantasy.
“I almost feel guilty not having my kids here.” Mackenzie’s voice trails off as she runs her fingers along the stone countertop in the kitchen.
My lips twitch as I carry the bags to the master suite. With any luck, she and the boys will see this place again soon. “The kitchen’s stocked with cheese, crackers, and grapes. I thought we’d sit outside with a glass of wine while we talk?”
She nods, but wariness crosses her face. She knows this conversation isn’t just about catching up.
“Sounds good.”
Outside, the patio offers a panoramic view of the Edington Winery, its endless rows of vines bursting with autumn color. Shades of gold, ruby, and green stretch across the hills, painting the landscape like a masterpiece. The sight momentarily distracts me from the weight of the moment.
“Sweet Jesus,” Makenzie whispers. “This view is incredible.”
“I thought you might like it.”
“I love it,” she says, taking her wineglass from me.
Her gaze lands on mine, and for a second, I let myself get lost in the warmth there. But I can’t put this off any longer.
I exhale and set my glass down. “I owe you an apology. I’m so deeply sorry for lying to you. For keeping who I was a secret. And for so much more.”
Her lips part, but she doesn’t speak. She’s waiting.
I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I have a lot to tell you. Some of it is classified, so I can’t give full details, but I’ll tell you everything I can. Will that be okay?”
“Yes.” Her voice is a whisper that wraps around my chest and squeezes like a vice grip. Why is this so hard?
I begin by describing how Ethan and I met. I leave out the worst of it, how he spoke about her in frustration. That’s not the man she needs to remember.
“When I read his last letter, I couldn’t believe what he was asking of me,” I admit. “He’d never written a letter before. ”
Her brows pull together. “Never?”
“No. So yeah, it made me nervous. When his fighter jet landed, I was relieved.” I pause. A heavy, suffocating feeling coils around my ribs. I force myself to keep going. “A soldier from another unit joined us. Royce Nuri. He worked as an interpreter at first; he was studying to be a surgeon. I took him under my wing.”
I stare at the glass in my hands. I don’t deserve comfort, but I feel her presence shift closer.
“When Ethan’s team returned from their mission, I went out to meet him. We were joking around and then—” My throat tightens. I clear it. “Gunfire erupted. Chaos everywhere. Ethan tackled me, shielding me with his body.”
She inhales sharply.
“I didn’t have my weapon. I’d just come from surgery. Royce fired. Ethan went down.” My hands fists against my thighs. “I picked up Ethan’s gun and took the shot. Royce hesitated. I didn’t.”
Mackenzie lets out a soft sob. Her hands shake as she reaches for me and presses her fingers into my arms, grounding me when I feel like I might shatter.
“I tried to save him,” I whisper. “I did everything I could.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“How can you say that?” I push off the couch and pace the edge of the patio, breathing hard.
She follows, standing beside me. “Because it’s true. You didn’t know someone was going to turn on you.”
I turn to her, barely holding it together. “Your kids are fatherless because he chose to die for me.”
Tears streak her cheeks. But there’s no anger in her gaze. Only something softer. “I spent years thinking Ethan was selfish. But what you just told me—that changes everything.” Her voice trembles. “Of course, I wish he was here for our boys, but he wasn’t, even when he was alive. You just confirmed that he died a hero.”
My chest cracks wide open. I pull her into me, holding on like she’s my only anchor to this world. “I hated missing his funeral. I should’ve been there. For him … and you. ”
She tightens her arms around me. “I wasn’t in the right frame of mind back then. But you’re here now.”
I cup her face, wiping away the tears. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. I don’t want to fight anymore.”
A slow, relieved exhale leaves my lungs. “I love you, Mackenzie Gillman.”
Her lips curve slightly. “Even after my crazed bitch side?”
“How about from now on, we drop that? You had every reason to be upset. And even if you were, I’d take you any way I could get you.” I brush my lips over hers. “That’s how much I love you.”
“Kiss me.”
The kiss starts slow, but it builds, deep and consuming. I’ve missed her. Her taste. Her sass.
When we finally break apart, I lead her back to the couch and hand her the wineglass. “You may need this.”
She gives me a questionable look. I take a deep breath, steadying myself.
“I’ve been thinking about us. The time apart made me realize something.”
Curiosity coats those gorgeous eyes, but she remains quiet.
“I don’t want us to be apart any longer.”