30. Chapter 30 #2
Lunette’s spine had gone rigid at my tone. I couldn’t tell if she was grateful or more furious with me.
But she didn’t know was that one of the people in this room would send magical correspondence to the Assembly about her before sunrise.
I was already counting the days until they tried to take her—just like they’d tried to take me.
The unfortunate truth was that she would never belong to herself again if I couldn’t lay claim to her first.
For now, I would let everyone think I’d been simply guarding a well-kept secret. Let them think she was merely a healer and I merely her regent. That way, when I retaliated, they wouldn’t anticipate the ferocity of my reaction.
I just needed her to let me…
I didn’t want to think about now. About what it would mean if she didn’t.
With her so near, every subtle shift of her posture tugged at the mate bond. Every breath she took dragged across my lungs as if my body had lost the ability to breathe independently of her.
She’d barely touched her wine, her food. The drive to care for her, to keep her safe, to make certain her belly was full was overwhelming. The need to reach across the table and tilt her chin up—to make her look at me, really look—was nearly unbearable.
If I didn’t do something to appease the bond soon, I’d lose control of my magic. It prickled against the underside of my skin, wanting to break out of its cage to be closer to her.
Fuck it.
I called a servant over and whispered instructions to secure anything she’d rather eat. That, at least, was safe to do here.
I ignored Reina’s glare as the servant leaned over to inquire about Lunette’s preferences. To my dismay, Lunette sent the servant away, having asked for nothing. Camrick was subtly shaking his head, barely concealing that he was laughing at me.
Arsehole.
When I glanced her way again, Lunette’s gaze finally met mine.
Her lilac eyes held mine for half a heartbeat too long, charged with an intensity that wasn't sweetness, but lacked the hatred I had so deeply dreaded.
Just long enough that I wondered if she felt the same pull—or if I was the only fool trapped by it.
And then, because I was apparently incapable of simply having a nice thing, unwelcome thoughts rose.
She still doesn’t know who you truly are.
She knew a man lit by a simple hearth in an alpine cabin.
Doesn’t know that your own brother hates you.
Or that you’re the reason both your parents are dead.
The reason the alliance with Gelida is blown.
If she knew, she wouldn’t look at you like you want her to.
Reality extinguished the nascent, charged feeling immediately. I looked back at my wine. I had no idea if mate bonds were ever unreciprocated, and I hoped never to find out. All this meant was that I had to work harder for her.
Lord Coryanthus broke my morose thoughts as cleanly as I wanted to break his neck. “Lady Lunette, I don’t see an Assembly pendant.”
The question aligned too closely with my current anxieties for coincidence. It didn’t strike me like the simple curiosity of a man admiring a pretty healer. More like he was assessing something he wanted to acquire.
Reina snorted. “You’ve certainly perfected the art of not asking a question while making it sound like one.”
Seeing Lunette smile at him only intensified the murderous urge. “I’m privately trained, my Lord.”
Coryanthus leaned forward, so engrossed that his elbows almost landed on the table as if he were sitting at a grimy tavern instead of the royal table. “You’ll have to spill the secret of your tutors! How long will you be with us in the Tir?”
“I don’t know, my lord.”
Forever was the answer I wanted. Still, her non-answer might get him to back off.
“I would love to give you a tour of the city when you’re not with the king. Tomorrow, perhaps?”
Tomorrow, he would be found drowned in a pool of his own blood. I’d already downed enough wine to make the room tilt, and it still wasn’t enough to drown the snarl rising in my throat.
Reina noticed and saved me. “The lady is busy with me in the short term, Lord Coryanthus.”
Perfect aunt.
Coryanthus, rightfully, was terrified of Reina.
He immediately backed down. Though I doubted this would end his pursuit.
He still didn’t have an heir, and his house had spent the last four generations marrying for mageblood.
A young grand magus of healing would be more than courted—she’d be acquired.
But she was mine. My mind, bones, even my soul knew it. They all wanted to mark her in a thousand different ways publicly, yet I feared Lunette would hate me for it when she finally learned why.
Dessert came and went in a blur of sugared pears and spiced wine.
The edge never fully left the room, but its sharpness softened. Conversations shifted even further from Berian’s health to trade routes and winter stores. Relief had loosened the lords from their stiff-backed, calculating postures, and now their laughter boomed a little too heartily.
They had exactly what they wanted: Stability—or at least the perception of it. In this, the distinction between truth and fantasy became irrelevant because the outcomes were identical. The illusion of control was enough.
Little did they know that the news out of Freuxcourt would throw oil on the fire by tomorrow morning.
Thinking of Theresa made me move to end the night slightly earlier than normal. I stood, signaling the evening’s close. “My lords and ladies. Your loyalty to Larethia is noted and appreciated.”
Polite bows. Silk rustling. Chairs scraping.
Reina was immediately intercepted by two matrons from the southern reaches, their jeweled fingers reaching to check the fabric of her gown. Camrick was cornered by a cluster of men already arguing about troop rotations.
There would be more conversation before anyone actually left, but I was distracted by Lunette. She stood alone, looking bewildered at what to do for half a heartbeat. Then she turned and slipped toward the doors.
Without thinking about what it might look like, I moved to follow.
The corridor beyond the dining hall was blessedly cooler. Torchlight replaced blinding candelabras. The noise of the banquet muffled as the doors swung closed behind me.
She was halfway down the hall when I said her name. “Lunette.”
She stopped. Slowly, she turned.
The silk at her temples caught the torchlight, gold chains glinting like beams of captured moonlight. There was a faint flush high on her cheekbones. Whether from wine or fury, I wasn’t sure. Either way, it was lovely.
“Prince Owain,” she said coolly, wrenching the knife she perpetually had in my guts.
“There’s no one here,” I said quietly.
Her chin lifted, lips pursed slightly. “There are always people here.”
Not wrong. I stepped closer anyway. Just her. Just me.
There were a hundred things I should’ve said. Half of them were even true.
I’m sorry was the truest and the most useless, so I didn’t lead with it.
I missed you was dangerous. I’ve barely slept since I left you in Selmont because the bond doesn’t understand why you aren’t beside me was the sort of confession that would either terrify her or, worse, draw out a tenderness from her that I would ruin with everything she still didn’t know.
“You shouldn’t have been cornered like that,” I said instead. Safe. Actionable. Cowardly. “Coryanthus pushing for a tour. If he bothers you again—”
“What?” she cut in sharply. “You’ll glare at him across another table?”
I’ll do so much more. But she didn’t need to know that, so I just shook my head.
“I am capable of taking care of myself,” she stated firmly.
“I know.”
“Do you?” She took a step toward me now, closing the space I hadn’t dared cross. “You didn’t even pretend to get to know me in there. Not a single direct word.”
“I couldn’t,” I admitted, swallowing hard.
Her brows knitted slightly, and the air between us shifted. Her earnest look invited me to explain. Too good, too understanding.
“If I had,” I said, lower now, “everyone in that room would’ve known exactly how I feel about you.”
“How you feel,” she repeated carefully. Too carefully. “So I am a dirty secret.”
This time I stepped closer. One more step, and we would be chest to chest.
“No, Lunette,” I said, unraveling already. I wanted to growl it, but I’d already acted like a beast enough while surviving without her. No one needed more of that side of me now. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“That doesn’t make it right.” Her voice quivered, and her tightly clenched fists trembled. “Dragging me from my home? Parading me in front of your court? You think those things are protecting me?”
“No,” I said, forcing myself not to reach for her. “I wanted to think that. It made me feel less monstrous if I could call it protection.”
Her lips moved, but no sound came out to break the quiet that held me captive.
“I destroyed the trust you had in me.” The immediate, searing guilt surged forward, eclipsing every scrap of logic I had to tease out what she wanted me to say. “I didn’t bring you here for politics. But I don’t exactly have a choice of avoiding them either. Lunette, you’re…”
“What?” Her voice rose then steadied with effort. “I’m what, Your Highness?”
The one thing I’ve ever wanted.
My sanity. Because losing you would rip out my soul.
My mate. Because the bond snapped into place for me even before I kissed you.
Damn it. I couldn’t tell her now, not like this. I swallowed, regretting every sip of wine tonight. “You’re here because Berian is dying.”