Chapter 24
Veille
CLAIRE
Itried to sit up, but my body refused to obey. Even opening my eyes was impossible; my lids were heavy and limp as lead. With nothing else left, I strained to listen to the muffled voices around me, but it was like my head was submerged underwater.
I groaned, my head throbbing.
“I know you’re a girl,” a familiar gruff voice said, “but you’ve got some balls on you. Don’t ya?”
Even half-conscious, I knew that voice. Gorrath.
I couldn’t see him, but I sensed him the way you feel someone standing too close behind you—the prickling at your neck, the weight of their breath.
It was the same uneasy feeling I’d had that night alone in our room, the night I discovered what the horn could do.
And again in the circle. I squeezed my eyes tighter, mortified.
The horn. Bastien’s hands. The way the demon had—
“If you keep disobeying Bastien’s orders and firing spells at werewolves twice your size, I’m going to start liking you. And that was not part of the plan.”
Despite everything, despite my throbbing head and the fact that I couldn’t lift my own hands, I huffed out, “Sorry to ruin your plans.”
The demon laughed. “I can see why he likes you. You’ve got spunk.”
I ignored him. Around me, the real world grew a little more real. Hands slid under my back, and my body tilted like someone was carrying me. The slow, swaying sensation of being carried made my stomach roll. I tried to force my eyes open and say Bastien’s name.
“Easy,” Gorrath urged. “Stop fighting it.”
“Have to—” My tongue felt too big for my mouth. “Bastien—”
The demon laughed, loud and crass. “Hate to break it to you, love. But you’re not waking up for a while.”
I frowned. Even thinking hurt. “Am I unconscious? Is that what’s happened?”
“Yes and no.”
Sighing inwardly, I asked, “Are you going to tell me more? Or are you sticking with vague responses?”
A pause. “I don’t know. Can you stop blushing every time you think about my horn?”
A fresh wave of embarrassment washed over me. “Never mind. Just let me be unconscious in peace.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he went on. “When my magick chose you in that graveyard, a piece of me bonded with your soul. After what we did in that circle, you can’t get rid of me. I’m part of you now. So playing with my horn is basically playing with yourself.”
“That is not how that works,” I muttered. “You’re not just inside me. You have your own body.”
“Stop disagreeing with me,” he shot back, clearly amused. “I’m starting to like it.”
I tried to roll away from him out of pure spite and remembered I couldn’t even feel my own legs. Nor could I escape a creature who was literally inside my head.
Scoffing, I asked, “How did Bastien stand you? You’re disgusting.”
“It’s part of my charm.”
I said nothing, wondering if five hundred years ago he was less annoying. Thankfully, Gorrath fell quiet, and in the silence, warmth began to spread through my chest. A gentle heat that made me relax into whoever was carrying me. Bastien, I hoped.
The demon, unable to stand a little peace and quiet, started talking again. “As your new demon, it’s my job to teach you the rules of being a living relic. The most important one, which you have learned the hard way, is that you can only hold so much of my power at one time.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because if you had endless power, you wouldn’t be a witch. You’d be a demon. And trust me, you don’t want the paperwork that comes with that.”
Despite myself, I smiled. “So I used all of it?”
“You burned through every drop like a drunk sailor with a purse full of coin.”
“And now?”
“You recharge.”
Embers of heat spread from my chest, down my legs, and into my toes. It tickled like pins and needles after you’ve slept on your hand too long. It was my magick, coming back to me.
“Is that you?” I asked quietly. “Are you doing that?”
He chuckled. “Look at you. Smart and reckless. I’m liking you more by the second.”
Quiet settled over us again as he worked. I was grateful his horn wasn’t needed for this. Or his hands. He seemed to be able to send me power through our connection.
In the space that the quiet provided, I thought of all that had happened. Of Mellie, the girl with the hollow eyes that reminded me of myself, and the man that she’d killed.
Tears pricked in my eyes. “Why couldn’t I save Devlinn?” I asked the demon.
He didn’t say anything right away, and I wondered if that meant he’d gone. But I could still sense his presence. Finally, he replied, “There are some spells that even my magick can’t fix. Like death spells.”
My throat tightened, and I went to reach for the lace choker around my neck even though I knew I couldn’t make my hand move. “It can’t stop death spells?”
“No,” he continued. “Including the spell on your choker.”
I said nothing, accustomed to keeping my mouth shut about Mama’s curse. “I live inside you, Claire. Of course, I know about your curse.”
I’d wanted these powers so that I could save myself. To stop Imogen’s prophecy from coming true. But he was telling me I couldn’t do it. A sob caught in my throat. And even though warmth was pushing into every corner of my body, I started involuntarily shivering.
“Sleep,” Gorrath said. “I’ll take care of the rest.”
I awoke before my body was fully mine again, floating in that strange in-between place, aware but useless. So I didn’t fight it, as the demon advised. I just waited. Listening to the sounds in the background as they became louder and louder.
But truthfully, the only person I was listening for was Bastien. Instinct told me he was close by, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to see his face, hear his voice, touch him.
Time stretched on, whether it was minutes or hours; I wasn’t sure. Until finally, after trying to move my hand for what felt like forever, my fingers twitched.
It was the smallest victory in the world. I was coming back to myself. Recharged and ready. But my body was still catching up.
Slowly, clumsily, I dragged my hand across scratchy wool blankets. The effort was exhausting and made my head swim, but I didn’t stop trying to reach him. My fingertips brushed smooth cotton, then the cool curve of a button.
Bastien.
I followed it upward, mapping by touch alone.
Button. Seam. The edge of a collar. Then cold fingers found mine, threading carefully through them.
Twining us together. I tried to say his name, but found my voice blocked by the warm press of tears.
I was so unbelievably happy and relieved to feel him again.
After everything that happened in the tunnel. And in that circle. I just needed him.
Bastien lifted the inside of my wrist to his lips, and my heart stuttered. “Chérie,” he whispered against my skin. “Have you come back to me? Or is this another dream?”
The sound of strain in his voice—the pain in his whisper—broke something open inside my chest. “You don’t dream,” I managed, trying not to cry. “You’re a vampire. Remember?”
He tried to chuckle, but it dissolved into a cough that shook his shoulders. “You’re right.” He pressed my wrist to his mouth again, kissing it once more. “But I’ve been in a nightmare ever since you lost consciousness.”
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Chastity’s Stronghold.”
I forced my eyes open and blinked until the blur cleared. And when I finally saw him, tears flooded my vision so fast it hurt.
Bastien was propped up beside me on a narrow bed.
There was dried blood everywhere. Even in his hair.
The pale strands a mix of sticky red and black.
Deep tears in his shirt revealed angry claw marks over his skin.
My head swam with dizziness, but I fought through it, forcing myself to catalog each of his injuries. Including his swollen and bruised jaw.
I went to touch it, but stopped short when he flinched away. “Why hasn’t anyone helped you?” I asked.
“I’m not a very good patient.”
I saw the sword resting on his lap, and I realized it was because he hadn’t let them. He’d been guarding my body while I slept. Standing vigil instead of doing something to help himself.
I tried to push myself up, but the room tilted violently. I fought through the sickness once again. “Drink,” I demanded of him. “Now.”
“I’m fine,” he muttered.
A blatant lie. Firelight from the nearby hearth revealed his ashen skin and sunken eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I whispered. “Just feed. Please. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
He attempted a smile. “I’m not taking anything from you while you can barely sit up.”
This stubborn, impossible man.
Bastien smoothed the hair from my face, gently tucking it behind my ear. His knuckles brushed my collarbone on the way down. “I have something for you.” He opened his palm and noticed he was holding my bloodstone. The one he’d removed during the ritual. “May I?”
I hadn’t realized how naked I’d felt without it until now. “Please.”
He draped it around my neck and fastened the clasp. I touched the gem, feeling whole again.
“There. Much better,” he observed, admiring it. Then eased back against the pillow and closed his eyes.
“I didn’t think you slept,” I said.
He raised his brows, but kept his eyes closed. “I don’t. But sometimes, I rest.”
I kissed his cheek. “Rest, then.”
His hand found mine, fingers curling around my wrist like even unconscious, he needed to know I was still there. Only then did the tension leave his shoulders.
Slowly, reluctantly, Bastien found the stillness vampires called rest.
I stayed propped beside him, watching. Love swelled in my chest until it ached.
I moved our hands to my stomach and tried to rest, but every time I closed my eyes, devastation waited for me.
The bodies. The wreckage. After everything—my husband’s wounds, Devlinn’s death—I still had no answer for how to remove Mama’s choker.
I glanced at Bastien again, and tears fell down my cheeks. I cried. And cried. Until I didn’t think I had any more tears inside of me. Grief as I’d never known before sat on my chest and refused to get up.
A whine sounded beside the bed, and I found my wolves waiting eagerly for me. Their bodies bumping against the mattress like oversized children desperate for approval. Their eyes were bright, proud, practically vibrating with it.
I couldn’t help the small, tired laugh that slipped out of me.
“You two look very pleased with yourselves,” I murmured, brushing away tears before reaching down to scratch the white wolf behind her ear. “You were brave. In the caverns.” I patted the brown male on his head. “Yes, you too.”
Even as I stroked their soft fur and looked into their eyes, my heart sank. They’d been brave. But so had Devlinn. And now… he was gone.
The white wolf’s tail thumped hard against the bed frame. “I need to give you two names,” I said, tears filling my eyes. “Or do you already have names?”
I wasn’t sure how the bond with familiars worked. More questions I’d never get to ask Devlinn. The white one picked something up off the ground and dropped it onto my lap.
It was an opalescent stone attached to a length of cord. I picked it up, turning it between my fingers.
“What’s this?”