25. Jaxson
Waves crashing against the shore will always be a soothing sound to me. Something about the way they ebb and flow, smoothing out the sand as they slip away.
Which is precisely why I chose the shoreline for this particular meeting. I’d gotten here earlier than the agreed-upon time, hoping that I could calm some of my nerves before Bradley Payne arrives.
It’s been a whirlwind of a month, picking up the pieces of Lanetti and Patty’s betrayal. It shook the town to know that two of their own were capable of such horrific things. Kidnapping Margot, drugging Kleo, Lanetti faking her own kidnapping… It’ll provide topics of conversation for months to come.
But I can’t be focused on that right now.
Because I’m trying to move forward, too.
Things with Margot are great, and construction at the B&B is well underway. Everett was able to offer a steep discount on labor and materials, granting Margot the ability to open the doors by Christmas, which is what she was hoping for.
She’s even planning a big Christmas party for the town as a fun reopening event.
Matty’s started visiting Chad once a week in rehab, and I can see on the kid’s face how happy he is that his dad is making an effort. I figured if he could forgive his father, it was well past time I forgave my own.
“You look pensive.”
I turn to face my father. This time, I’m not blinded by anger, so I can see the hollowness of his gaze and the gauntness of his face. It’s so strange to see him like this, when he’s lived in my head all these years as a healthy and intimidating man pushing forty. “It’s been a wild month,” I reply.
“I heard.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and stares out at the ocean. “Your brother filled me in on everything that went on. Your girl, she’s doing okay?”
“Margot’s good,” I tell him. “She’s strong.”
He smiles but doesn’t look at me. “That’s good, that’s really good.”
Silence settles between us.
Bradley clears his throat and turns to face me, so I offer him my full attention. “Saying I’m sorry feels pathetic, but I really am, Jaxson. I’m so sorry for everything that happened. For all of the pain I caused you and your brother. He told me about some of it. Of the things you did to survive.”
“I’m past it now.”
“I know you are. You’ve always been stronger than me. Even when you were young, you’d handle things better than me. When I started drinking, it was just my way of dealing with the unhappiness burning inside of me. I know now it was the enemy, trying to break apart my family—and succeeding.”
“You’re getting help now.”
“I got sober,” he replies. “You should know, I looked your mother up to try and make amends with her, too.”
“And?”
“She died a few months after I left.”
A knot in my chest tightens, and I press a fist against it. “That’s a shame.” I could have looked her up once I got on the force. I could have looked both of them up, but I’d made it a point to keep that door closed.
“It is,” he agrees. “She overdosed. I keep thinking back. What if I’d just been stronger? If I’d done things differently, we could have been so much better.” Tears stream down his cheeks, and his voice wavers. “I messed up, Jaxson. You boys leaned on me, and I failed you.”
My throat burns with unshed tears. “We survived.”
“But it should have been easier.”
“I’m not sure it should have been,” I tell him. “Does it suck? Sure. Was I angry? For a long time. But I am where I am, and I’m the person I am today because of the trials I suffered through. God brought me out of them, and He made me a stronger man for them.”
“He really did,” Bradley replies. “You do so much good, Jaxson.”
I swallow hard, trying to smother the emotion clawing up my throat. “You said you’re sick?”
He nods. “Doctors give me a few months, but to be honest, I’m feeling like it’s only days now. I’m tired.” There’s no fear on his face, no anger, just acceptance. And I wonder if he realizes that his reaction to what’s coming makes him stronger than he seems to give himself credit for.
“You’re doing right by trying to get things in order.”
He sighs. “I sure messed up this life. I could make excuses. My parents were never around, I never knew what it meant to be a father, but at the end of the day, they’re just excuses. And I grew tired of making them.”
His words are heavy, and they settle upon my shoulders like a weight.
“Jesus forgives us,” I tell him. “If you believe in Him.”
“I do. For a long time, I struggled with my faith, but I can honestly say that’s one thing I am certain of these days.” He smiles at me, and a knot I hadn’t realized was there loosens in my chest. “I never stopped thinking about you boys,” he says. “Tried to find you, but your mother had sold the house, and no one had seen her.”
“You looked for us?”
“For years,” he replies. “It wasn’t until you adopted your brother that you popped up in the system and I realized you’d stayed in LA. And by then, I was so ashamed of what I’d done, I drowned that shame in alcohol and hoped it would kill me. I guess I got my wish.” Before I can respond, he turns to me. “I came and saw you in the hospital.”
“What?”
“When you came back stateside. You were in a coma, but I came to see you.” His voice breaks. “You were already a man, but all I could see was my little boy.” He chokes on a sob. “Tubes and wires, bruises and bandages. I wanted nothing more than to change spots with you. To be the one in that bed.”
I stare at him, trying to process everything he’s saying. “I didn’t know you were there.”
“I left before you woke. But I checked in from time to time. And then one day, I came, and you had been discharged and sent home.”
My heart thaws toward him, and suddenly the weight of forgiveness is not nearly as heavy as it had been. “For what it’s worth, I forgive you.”
He turns to me again, hope burning in his eyes. “You do?”
“I do.”
His eyes fill. “Can I?” He holds out his arms, and I embrace him, pulling his slight form in for the first hug I think my father and I have ever shared. Even before, when I’d been young, I can’t remember ever hugging my dad.
Even when I’d been scared or hurt as a boy, he’d push me aside. Tell me to man up .
I thought I’d moved on. That I’d fully processed everything I went through as a child, but now I’m understanding that I wasn’t quite as far past it as I thought. Because this—this embrace—it feels an awful lot like healing.
Tears slip down my cheeks as we pull away. “Are you staying in town?”
“I checked out of my hotel this morning. I’ve been staying with Tyler. He offered to take me in until—you know.”
“I’ll be flying out to see you both,” I tell him. “I promise.”
He smiles. “I look forward to that. Both my boys in one place. I don’t deserve it.”
“None of us deserve the forgiveness we receive,” I tell him. “But Jesus loved us so much, He died for it.”
“Hey, stranger.” Margot slips her hand into mine and leans against my shoulder to stare out over the ocean. “I thought I’d find you down here.”
I look down at her and smile. Her hair is in a thick braid down her back, and she’s wearing a white T-shirt and baggy blue pants. Her toes are painted a bright coral that matches the tips of her fingers.
She’s light.
Hope.
Love .
“You are so beautiful.”
Her cheeks flush with color. “Why, thank you, Detective. You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to woo me.”
“Always.”
“How did things go with your dad?”
“It was harder than I thought it would be to say goodbye to him.”
“So it went well?”
I nod. “He apologized. Told me that he wasn’t making excuses because he knows he messed up.” My throat tightens again as I picture him crying beside a hospital bed when I’d been so out of it I had no idea I wasn’t alone. “He came to see me at the hospital. When I was in a coma.”
“Really?” Her eyes fill. It’s one of the things I love about her. Margot feels everything. She’s empathetic and understanding, kind and forgiving. Even after everything Chad put her through, she’s been driving Matty to see him, even taking the man care packages so he doesn’t feel forgotten while he’s in rehab.
“Yeah.”
“How are you doing with all of it?”
“I’m good. Honestly. I feel better than I have in—I don’t even know how long.” I press a kiss to the top of her head.
“I’m so glad.”
“Me, too. I thought I’d forgiven him and moved on, but it wasn’t until I said the words that I felt that weight lift.”
“I’m so glad you gave him a chance. That you forgave him so you both can move forward. Did he tell you anything about his prognosis?”
“The doctors give him a few months. He’s staying with my brother, so I think I’ll be heading out there for a bit to try and help. If you’re okay with it.”
“Absolutely. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I was also thinking maybe the three of us could fly out? I can introduce you to my brother as my fiancée.”
“Sure that would be—wait, what?” She pulls away from me, staring up at me like I’m speaking another language.
Nerves settle in my stomach like lead, but I reach into my pocket and withdraw the ring I’d bought the day after we’d rescued Margot. I’d known then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
That I never wanted to go another day without her.
And after asking both Margot’s father and Matty for permission, I decided not to put it off any longer. So I drop down to one knee. She covers her mouth with both hands, eyes filling.
“Margot Anderson, I never thought I would be on my knee again. I never thought I’d ever love anyone enough to want to take this next step, but you are the air I breathe, baby. You are my life. My love. My soulmate. I love you so much. Please make me the happiest man on this earth and marry me?”
She nods, unable to find the words.
“Yeah?”
“Yes!” she yells and tackles me to the sand, mouth waiting for mine. I wrap my arms around her and capture her lips with mine.
Cheering fills my ears, and Margot pulls away as Matty, Michael, Reyna, Margot’s parents, Lance, Eliza, Andie, Elijah, and Bianca come down the steps toward the beach, all of them clapping and yelling out congratulations.
Margot laughs and looks down at me. “I love you, Jaxson Payne.” She holds up her hand, and I slip the ring onto her finger.
“I love you, too, Margot. And I promise I will spend every day of my life being a man deserving of your love.”
SWOON! I love a beautiful second chance at love story, and both Jaxson and Margot were so deserving of another shot at their happily ever after! I hope you enjoyed it, too! If you did, please consider leaving an honest review.