29. Your Father, Arne
TWENTY-NINE
YOUR FATHER, ARNE
Jack
I was an idiot.
I was a fucking moronic idiot.
Say it again. I want you to really feel it , the monster growled.
We’re both fucking idiots , I told him. You started it, not me .
You know we both feel the same way when it comes to what has been done to her.
I couldn’t deny it. But kissing her … twice … when I knew all too well where that would lead.
Fuck it had felt good, though.
She kissed back like she was fucking starved for it. And she probably was. She’d been forced into sex with zero intimacy … had been raped like she was a science experiment.
Didn’t she deserve to know what the rest of it was like? Didn’t she deserve to have the first base experience? The second? Fuck … the third …
She would taste so good , the monster mused. If the smell of the orgasm she gave herself tonight is any indicator. If a smirk could have a sound, it was the tone of his voice in my head.
I sat down on the mattress. From there, I had a decent view out the door that I’d very deliberately left open. Half of me was hoping she would follow me in to argue with me some more. The other half hoped she would follow me in and kiss me some more …
Because I was an idiot.
I couldn’t see her outside. She’d been leaning against the porch, still gasping from the bruising kiss, when I’d come inside. She wasn’t there anymore.
Go to her , the monster growled.
I inhaled. She was still close. Her springtime scent wafted, fresh, and not far from the porch. The fact that I could still smell it over the musky sweetness of her pussy, thick in the air in here, told me she hadn’t disappeared.
She needs space , I told myself and the monster. Even if every bone in me was drawn back towards the door, I was determined to give her space.
She’s jealous of Blaire , the monster murmured.
I know.
And damn, a part of me fucking loved knowing she was jealous. But a bigger part … a more terrifying part wanted to stalk out there, pin her down on the ground, and make her realize there was no need for jealousy. Make her realize that the only woman I had feelings for was …
I shot off the mattress, gritting my teeth, and storming over to the rickety chest of drawers where I’d stashed that white envelope.
I needed something to distract me from this need.
And if a letter from my dead immortal father couldn’t do it, nothing could.
I snatched it out of the dusty drawer, slumping into the chair by the fire. Fuck. Her scent was strongest here. Was this where she’d made herself come? On this chair?
I tapped the edge of the worn envelope against my palm, trying not to imagine her naked by the fire, her fingers working that pretty pussy. Or what I would do to her, naked by the fire.
Open the damned thing! the monster grumbled. If we’re not going to fuck, at least let’s do something that’s not sitting here and hornily moping about how we can’t fuck.
I grew one single claw, using it like a letter opener, slitting the top open, and, taking a deep breath, I slid the paper out.
To my not yet in existence offspring,
I wonder if you will ever read this. I wonder if you will ever meet my brother.
Moreover, I wonder if you will ever exist. And all at once, I wish for it to be so, and profoundly hope it never happens. I was meant to sire offspring to Liv. For so long, we had hoped.
And now she is dead. My Joined is dead.
He made me watch as that thug Yuvan peeled her skin away. She was still alive, screaming and begging, her body rejuvenating too slowly when pitted against his blade. They took her head while she was mutilated. That will be my last memory of her. She had done nothing to deserve it aside from being Mine. She died so Fortis could punish me. And through me, my brother.
Asbj?rn has assured me that he feels this alliance he has forged with the Candies—with this Operation Stranger—will be the only way we can possibly hope to garner enough power to take down the Coalition and Fortis’s Troops. I am not convinced. I do not believe that mingling our seed with that of mortals will produce anything with the power and strength of a pure-blooded immortal.
But I am willing to give this piece of myself on the wild off-chance that it does, in fact, work.
I wonder if you will be immortal or if the human genes they plan to mix my seed with will win out.
I wonder if you will look like me or if you will look like whoever your Candy mother is.
I wonder if you will have a better life than the one I could have given you, stuck in the hell that Fortis has made for me. I wonder how much you will understand about the Shifter side of yourself. Whether they will want you to know about your heritage. Or whether they will want to try to shape you into something else entirely.
I will never know because I do not plan to live long enough to find out.
Fortis thinks he can control me, and through me, my brother. But in his stupid refusal to understand how deep into my soul my Join with Liv went, he rid himself of the only thing that he could possibly have used to keep me under his thumb.
Fortis is a fool. I will end my life and find Liv in whatever afterlife we immortals get. His leverage over Asbj?rn will cease to exist.
So, in the spirit of passing on my pitifully small well of wisdom to you, my possibly not even real progeny, here are a few things that I, in my long life, find important. Things that, if this Candy Operation does indeed try to shield you from your heritage, you will need to know, because they are so intrinsically linked to who we are, to how we work.
First, don’t fight the full moon. Simple as that. Let the wildness take you. It will be so much worse if you try to resist. Trust me on this.
Second, never eat in your shifted form! I cannot stress this enough. We cannot hold our shifts long enough to fully digest a meal as an animal, and it will not be pretty for you when you revert to your human form and have to regurgitate every skerrick of deer entrails. If you must fight, to kill, spit out anything you rip apart.
Third. Do not feed from humans. It’s a slippery slope. My brother does not share this sentiment, but he has a vested interest in the Candy blood trade, so he is biased. All I will say in this matter is there is a reason humans are named Candies by our kind. They’re too sweet, they make you crave more, and in the long run, they’re terrible for you.
Fourth, although perhaps this should have been first. You are the offspring of an Echo. This may end up being meaningless advice because there are so many variables as to whether you become one, too. Echo parents are not always guaranteed to produce Echo children, and then we have the fact that you will be half-human as well.
But if you do develop Shifter abilities, and you find that you have more than one shift form, then know that you will be singled out for this. It is rare. So rare that I, an identical twin, am the only one who inherited our mother’s Echo ability. It is a strength, but it is also a vulnerability.
If you do inherit the Echo trait from me, you will find that your inner beast will be stronger. It will sometimes be able to take control of you when you are in your human form. But it also has instincts that you can trust, often better than your own or those of older and more experienced folks. Listen to it, for your shifted form retains the wisdom of those who have come before it.
Do not abuse your power. I have seen it happen before, where an Echo gets high on their ability and begins to use it for nefarious purposes. Hold fast to your moral compass, my imaginary progeny. And know that if you do not, you place a target on your back. Even other Shifters are all too ready to put an Echo down if they believe they are abusing the ability.
I have saved the most important piece of advice for last. The Join.
My brother will tell you, if you ask him, to avoid Joining at all costs, for in his eyes, it is only pain and suffering that the Join brings us. Pain, suffering, and the monotony of only fucking one female for all eternity. Sentiments spoken only by one who has not experienced it.
The Join is powerful, because without it our kind would be infertile. But more than that, deep love and connection come with Joining … not to mention the sex is like nothing you have or will ever experience again.
Yes, there are downsides early on. But if you are immortal, those early days will pass so quickly in the grand scheme of your life.
If you are lucky enough to find the one who is Yours, you will know. Your body will seek them. Your mind will make it difficult to think of anything else. You will crave their touch, their smile, their voice. Your inner beast will demand you Join with them.
But you are not Joined until you feed from them during sex. And they from you. It must all happen for the Join to be complete. So, if you are like Asbj?rn, and you dislike the idea, be sure you do not take their blood while your cock is inside them. Or, while their cock is inside you. I do not know if you will be male or female, do I? When I picture you, I always see a boy with my brother’s cheeky grin, the one that matches my own. And forgive me a moment of sentimentality, but I also imagine you have My Liv’s hazel eyes.
But I hope that you do find the one who is destined to be Yours. And I hope that you wish to Join with them.
I would give up immortality to have one more night with Liv. Hell, I plan to give up immortality, and my life, rather than live on without her. I do it with no regrets, save perhaps leaving my brother alone. And perhaps also not getting to meet you, my hypothetical child.
If you do find Yours, and you choose to Join with them, there is one last piece of advice I will give you. Be wary of those who would seek to use your Join against you, the way Fortis has done with me. I have done things I can never forgive myself for countless times to protect Liv from Fortis’s wrath. In some sick, twisted way, it is almost a relief to know he can never hold my love for Liv against me again.
I hope that if you ever do exist, that you get to read this. I think that Asbj?rn will miss me. To see you, to know you are a piece of me, will give him something else to fight for, I think.
I wonder if I will regret not meeting you.
I wonder if you will have the courage and the strength to fight the evil in our world.
I truly hope so.
All my love
Your father, Arne