40
Ashlynn
Meet Me Here Later - Astronautalis
A fter the girls and I finish up in the hot tub, I grab a towel and head back to Avan’s room to shower. I open the door and Avan is sitting on the bed, looking up at me. “Hey Peanut!”
I smile over at him while I walk to the bathroom. “Hey you, what are you doing?”
He reaches out and grabs both my hands, pulling me into him, and wraps his arms around my waist with his head on my stomach. “Have I told you yet how much I have missed you, P?”
He leans back just enough to look at me. “No, you haven’t! We can talk about this after I shower, though!”
Letting go of me and smiling, he says, “Fine!”
I take a quick shower because I got back inside a little later than I wanted to and don’t want Avan to be up all night since he has an early morning plane to catch. I get dressed and open the door, but Avan isn’t in the room anymore. A part of me feels almost relieved, but also disappointed. I want to catch up with him and see how his life has been. We haven’t seen each other in years. I don’t even know anything about him anymore. Cora never really talked about him to me, for good reason–I am sure of it. I sit down on the bed and lean against the headboard and check to see if I have any new messages from Heath, but the only new message is a video from Cora. She recorded my jump today and my lovely face plant, which I would give a full 100% if you could grade a face plant in the snow. I say screw it and upload it to my Instagram. My followers should get to know me and see my life. I get it uploaded and type in “Landed my first jump on my snowboard today along with the ultimate faceplant!”
After I upload my short clip to Instagram, I go and check my emails. I have a new itinerary from Heath, just showing me a couple of our flight times have changed. As I am reading over everything, I hear music moving down the hallway and Avan pops his head in the room. “Do you remember this song, P? I bet you haven’t listened to it since me!”
I smile so big because I haven’t heard this song since Avan. “Meet me here later and we’ll make out!”
Avan throws his head back, laughing that I just quoted some of the lyrics. “I haven’t heard it since you, but I remember it. We listened to it all the time!”
Avan comes over and sits on the bed, picking up my legs to lay them across his lap and he starts massaging my calves. The hot tub helped, but the massage feels good as well. “I thought you left for the night when I got out of the bathroom!”
Smirking, he says, “I’m not leaving this time without saying goodbye to you. Plus, I wanted to give you privacy after you showered. I know you were out all day, but I was wondering if you would be up for a late-night walk like we used to do?”
I get off the bed and change into much warmer clothes. We get into Avan’s car and drive down to the village, which is still crowded with people, but I guess it’s not as late as I thought it was.
Avan comes to my side and helps me out, closing the door behind me. Turning back to me, he intertwines our hands and leads the way. As we walk around, we catch up on each other’s lives. He tells me about how hard of a time he had breaking into snowboarding compared to Cora. I tell him about my first book being published and how, when I get home, I am going on a small tour for book signings. He stops and turns toward me. “I bought your book! I saw it the other day at the airport when I flew in!”
Avan has never read anything I wrote, but that makes me smile that he bought it. “Thank you for supporting me, I guess!” I tell him.
“I’ll always support you, Ashlynn.” Avan smiles at me.
We make a turn toward what looks like a park with Christmas lights everywhere. “Avan, what is this place?”
He swings his arm around me and pulls me into his body. “This is a new attraction called ‘Vallea Lumina’. I saw it earlier, and I thought to myself, I want to take Ashlynn there, so here we are!”
We continue to walk through the attraction, our hands still intertwined.
After walking through the lights, we stop and buy some hot chocolate; it is freezing out here. We find a bench to sit on and just watch all the lighting. We sit in comfortable silence, when Avan asks, “Did she really burn all our pictures? I tried to see you before we left, Ashlynn. I never wanted to leave without saying goodbye. Hell, I wanted to take you with us.”
I set my cup down on the ground and turn to Avan. “She did, Avan. I have nothing from our relationship anymore, just the memories we made. She never let me out of her sight after that night. I couldn’t even say bye to Cora. I had to do it on the phone with her standing right next to me to make sure you wouldn’t get on the line.”
Avan takes a big breath and lets it out into the cold night. “I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that, but it sounds like you found someone who filled more than that void in you.”
I look at Avan because as far as I know, he wasn’t around while we were talking in the hot tub. “Avan, were you eavesdropping on us?”
I get a cocky smirk from him. “Guilty! I know I shouldn’t have, but when I heard you tell Neha about us, I wanted to hear it, too.” I push him on the shoulder, which doesn’t even make him budge.
Putting his hand over his heart, he says, “I got to say, I’m a little hurt you gave your heart to someone else, ouch!”
I can’t tell if he is being serious or not, so I play his game. “I didn’t know you wanted me to wait for you.”
Grabbing my hand and kissing my gloved fingertips, he says, “I would never ask you to wait for me. I didn’t know if I was ever going back to Colorado, and once I made it into snowboarding, that became my life. That’s all I cared about. I’m not really hurt. I’m happy you have somebody.”
Before I can stop myself, I say, “Had somebody. I don’t anymore.”
Avan swings his head in my direction; he probably just pulled a neck muscle. “Wh... what? Had somebody? You and Anthony aren’t together anymore?”
I shake my head. “You really listened to that whole conversation, didn’t you?!”
Holding onto my hands, he says, “The way your eyes lit up when you talked about him, I just thought you were still together.”
I don’t know what compels me, but I blurt everything out right there to Avan. When I talk about the accident, I notice he has tears waiting to drop down his cheeks. When he notices that I see them, he quickly looks away and wipes his eyes.
I grab the side of his face and turn him back to look at me, “Avan, I’m okay. Everything is fine. I promise.”
Avan moves closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, leaning his cheek against the side of my head. “So, the accident pushed you all apart?”
I let out a very humorless laugh and throw my hand up. “I guess you can say that. He told me he was done with us. He also said I was a distraction.”
With that, Avan lets out a laugh. “You’re seriously laughing about that?” I ask him.
“I’m sorry, P, but he really just used that as an excuse. I use it all the time on girls who start to get clingy with me. Trust that it was just a baseless excuse.” I just stay silent after that. “Can I say something about all this? If I put myself in his shoes, I would have probably acted very similar–maybe not to the extent of leaving you. He probably thought that was for the best, though. So, I would say show him some forgiveness, even if you all don’t get back together, at least he can have that.”
I really have nothing to say to that. We finish up our hot chocolate and continue our walk. We come up to this gorgeous tree that is full of lights. “Avan, thank you for talking to me. You are the first person I was able to talk to about all of that.”
As we stroll near the tree, suddenly, a light show begins, illuminating all the trees around us. I am smiling so much, my cheeks hurt. I look over at Avan and he is staring at me with an intense look in his eyes.
“Is everything okay?” I ask him.
He nods his head. Putting his hands on the side of my neck and caressing my jaw with his thumb, he asks, “Ashlynn, would it be wrong if I kissed you right now?”
Not even thinking twice about it, I close my eyes, stand on my tip-toes, leaving my lips so close to Avan’s I can feel his breath fan across my mouth, and he closes the gap, with a slow and sweet kiss, sweeping his tongue along my bottom lip. He moves one hand to my lower back, pulling me as close to him as I can get, and his other hand tangles in my hair under my beanie, deepening our kiss. He bites my lower lip and sweeps his tongue once again for me to open my mouth more for him and I do. I don’t know how long we stand there, but once we pull away, the trees are lit with one single color.
Avan leans his forehead against mine. “Ashlynn, let’s go home. I want to kiss you in private.”
I grab his hand and lead the way out, back to the car.
We are both quiet on the ride home. I don’t think either of us thought that this is where we would end up tonight. Once we pull up to the cabin, it’s dark. It’s safe to assume that Cora and Neha are asleep, hopefully, but we aren’t that lucky. We walk in the front door, and they are in the living room watching a movie, but their attention quickly turns to Avan and me. Cora and Neha both zero in on our hands. I look at both of them; Cora smiles and shakes her head and Neha wiggles her eyebrows at me. I smile and look down as Avan leads us to his room. Softly closing the door behind us, he starts up the fireplace; I’m thankful he has one of the rooms with one.
He turns toward me. “Ashlynn, this is going to sound crazy, because it sounded crazy the whole way home as I practiced it in my head.” I cover my mouth to try hiding my smile, but stop quickly because Avan is being serious. “I know, you recently have been hurt and I also know you still have strong feelings for Anthony.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “Tonight, Ashlynn–I just want this one night with you. I know we aren’t going to ever be anything more, but let’s just have tonight to be together.”
After he tells me this, he leans down and captures my lips again, and I melt into him. Maybe I am a bit vulnerable right now, but Avan and I never had this in our relationship, and I want this one night, too.
I pull away from our kiss, holding onto his wrist. “Okay, Avan. One night together.”
He smiles wide, his full dimples on display. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips back down to mine. As we are kissing, Avan places his hands on my hips, walking me backwards to the bed; my legs hit the mattress and he slowly lays us both down on the bed. Leaning up slightly, he pulls his shirt off with one hand and throws it to the floor. He stands to his full height, starting to remove his jeans. I drink him in: his chest, stomach, back and arms are covered in tattoos. All things that make Avan, Avan. The tattoos are all snowflakes, pine trees, mountains, and other designs. All the tattoos stop at his wrist, leaving his hands clean. I sit-up and he starts to remove my shirt and I have a lacey bra on, and his eyes somehow manage to turn darker than their normal color when he zeros in on my pierced nipples. “Fuck, Ashlynn!”
He moves to take off my jeans; I lift my hips for him to slide them down my legs. Laying back down, he wraps his arm around my waist, lifting me off the bed and sliding me up to the top. “Ashlynn, are you sure you’re okay with this? We can stop.”
I grab his face. “No, Avan. I want this. We never got to have this together.”
That’s all he needs; he starts to kiss my neck, collarbone and back to my lips. He pulls away, grabbing a condom, tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it on one-handed.
Once he gets the condom on, he fits himself between my legs. I can feel him shaking. “Avan, you’re shaking.”
He put his lips right by my ear, lightly kissing me, and says “So are you, Ashlynn.”
Then, he slowly starts to press into me, making me let out a soft moan. I haven’t been with anyone since Anthony. So, I am tight. Once Avan is fully into the hilt, he holds still for a minute before he moves his hips, pulling out and thrusting back in, a little harder with each thrust. He wraps his arms around me in a tight hold, breathing and moaning into my ear. I don’t know what it is about that, but it pushes me over the edge. He pulls back and looks down at me with strands of his hair falling onto his damp forehead. Grabbing the back of my neck he pulls me to him for a kiss right as I start moaning from another orgasm. He moves his hand down to my neck, not squeezing, but just holding it there. Grabbing the back of my knee, Avan starts to thrust quicker and harder. I tangle my fingers through his hair and push him further into me; he leans his head down in the crook of my neck, moaning into me with his orgasm. He sits up on his forearms on both sides of my head, running his fingers through my hair, and kisses me multiple times.
After cleaning up and settling back in bed, we fall silent once more. It feels like closure for both of us, in some odd way. We lie on our sides facing each other—I'm holding his hand, and he rests his mouth against the back of mine. I am starting to get heavy eyed. “Avan, please don’t leave without saying goodbye.”
I close my eyes and hear his soft whisper. “I won’t leave you again without saying goodbye.”
It’s 4:00 when Avan caresses my face to wake me; I open my eyes and he is kneeling by the bed. “I have to get to the airport.”
I shake my head because I don’t want him to leave, but I know we both agreed to just one night together. “Have a safe flight. Thank you, Avan.”
He smiles at me and pushes a strain of hair off my cheek, “Remember what I said, Peanut, about Anthony. I want you to be happy, okay? Also, stop hiding your face; you’re beautiful–nothing can take that away.”
He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, gets up, and stops at the door. “Goodbye Ashlynn.”
He turns and closes the door behind him. Shocked, I start to silently cry, but at the same time I am smiling because Avan just wants me to be happy and not even happy with him, but with Anthony.
I wake back up around 10:45 later that morning and just lay in bed for a while before I go and get interrogated by both Cora and Neha. I feel for my phone on the nightstand when I feel something else. I turn over and see a necklace. Not just any necklace–my snowflake necklace that Avan gave to me in high school. The necklace I never wore home in fear my mom would find it in a drawer and take it away from me. He kept it all this time. I read the folded piece of paper that is tucked under it. “You left this at my house! Love you P!” I lay back down and just laugh at his note.
I finally get up and shower for the day. I have no weight bearing down on my shoulders after everything. Right there, as I am getting ready, I forgive Anthony, like Avan told me to. I don’t know what Anthony was thinking and what he was going through, but I don’t care anymore. I forgive him and now it is my turn to get him back. Avan is right: I still have strong feelings for Anthony, and I don’t want them to go away. So, I don’t care how long it takes. I am getting my guy back. The same guy who knocked me on my ass in high school, the same guy who showed up at my house to answer my text, and the same guy who flew me to Dallas to watch him ride in the finale of the Extreme Tour. I say to no one, “I’m coming back, Anthony.”
Before I leave my room, I sit on the bed and contemplate unblocking alerts and texting him, but I stop. I want to see him and tell him everything to his face, so he knows that I am serious and that I want US back.