CHAPTER TWELVE #3
‘I know,’ I continued. ‘That’s racing. Skirting as close to the rules as you can to get ahead.
Some riders do it, others don’t. Me and Theo never did.
I used to spend hours talking about Bach Lotiere, how I admired him so much because he never endangered his dragons.
How I would always prioritize the safety of my wyvern too.
That if I had a choice between winning or keeping my mount safe, I’d choose my mount every time.
‘That’s exactly the kind of shit you don’t say in front of other riders, but I did because I was an idiot and thought he was my friend. So in that last race we got to find out if I really would choose my wyvern over the win, because he dive-bombed me to force me into backing off.
‘Seventy-three was the first year Ballenir ran their junior rider programme. The winner of the Wyvern Cup was guaranteed a job with them. Theo got it. I got nothing. None of the Volitant teams wanted a girl, especially not a second-place loser. That was my only guarantee.’
Recounting it left me hollow. I didn’t tell Josie the worst part. That for so long afterwards I’d actually missed him. Even with what he’d done, part of me had longed to put it aside and go back to the way it had been. Pathetic.
I continued to stare at the floor, the food now cold.
‘All the more reason to use him, Lena.’
My neck creaked as I lifted my head to look at her.
‘The other riders have resources that you don’t right now.
’ Her gaze was steady and she spoke with the same clear tone as when she recited race statistics.
‘Use Theo to train you. Take what should be yours already. I know it’s tempting to want to beat them when you have nothing, but please be selfish and take from others what they wouldn’t hesitate to take from you …
what they’ve already taken. Make it a level playing field. ’
She’d used the same phrase as Theo.
‘It will never be fair though, will it?’ I tried and failed to keep the edge out of my voice.
‘Okay, if I buddy up to him and use him to train, I’ll be fitter and in better shape to race, but he still has his team behind him.
They all do! I’m essentially flying solo while every other rider has half a Volitant team feeding them custom strategy and updates during the race. ’
‘No. It will never be fair for you. As long as women are a minority within Volitant you will never be their equal. As long as the flight suits are designed by, for and tested on men you will always be at a disadvantage. Even then, if all the hundreds of big and small things that hold you back change, half the continent will watch and wait for you to fail.’
I closed my eyes against the truth I already knew. I didn’t need to hear it.
Josie was softer when she continued. ‘It sucks. That’s why we’re allowed to feel angry, sad or anything else we want, but there’s something they cannot take away from us.’
I broke our eye contact. I knew what she was going to say, but I couldn’t face the emotion in her voice, let alone her eyes.
‘We have each other, Lena. I’m not just talking about me and you either. There are a whole lot of women out there who want to see someone like them on dragonback, on the podium. Me included. For that to happen, to really happen, you have to accept help. You can start with me.’
She turned to her bag and began rummaging for something. I could feel my heart thumping against my ribs, panicking at how earnest she was. How everything she said resonated with me.
‘Save it, Josie. I know you’ve got plans for the next race and I appreciate it, but by the time I’m in the middle of the pack and have an arcan in my face I’ve forgotten everything you’ve told me.’ I hoped the complaining covered the shaking I could hear in my own voice.
Instead of pulling out more notes though, she pulled out a mess of copper wire attached to an arcanite – an augment.
‘This is a duplicate of the Kiestral comms augment, except it’s tuned into a receiver that I have.
’ She tucked her sleek black hair behind her right ear and placed a second augment over it.
‘We’ll have to leave it on permanently so they don’t see you tapping in to speak with me, but this will allow us to talk strategy while you fly. ’
My mind was sluggish. ‘You’re going to be my strategist? Live, during a race?’
A smile curled on her face. ‘Yes, and then you’ll start getting better.’
I opened my mouth, but she continued before I could even begin.
‘So it would be a shame to waste all my time, effort and expertise on a rider who won’t even go to the gym.
You’re going to find Theo tomorrow and tell him you accept his offer.
Then you’re going to train together. While you do, you’re going to get all the information you can out of him and repeat it back to me.
When you next race you’ll be doing it properly with me in your ear.
‘Anyway, you don’t have a choice because I’m going to fit this in your helmet and you’re not smart enough to know how to turn it off.’
I struggled in arguments that didn’t resort to yelling or punching, but for once I didn’t actually want to resist. I had countless reasons to say no, but none of them could outweigh the one Josie had for saying yes.
‘Fine. If hanging out with Theo off circuit gets me—’ I forced myself to backtrack, I wasn’t alone in this anymore. ‘If it gets us closer to a win, I’ll do it.’
Josie tossed me a veggie parcel. ‘Then eat up. If he’s as annoying as you say you’ll need all the energy you can get.’