CHAPTER SIXTEEN #3
Instead I replayed the Victrolia race in my head, just like I had while at the punching bag. The successes, the failures and the fact I’d been able to celebrate with Josie and Gottyk afterwards. Our little team.
‘How many are you up to?’ he said, ruining my attempts at forgetting him.
‘What?’ I bit back, annoyed.
‘How many times have you gone over the race now? It’s been hours since it finished, so I’m guessing at least five.’
‘Nice try, but I don’t do that anymore,’ I grunted out the lie, thankful for the steam for disguising my grimace. I hated that he knew. ‘If you’re going to insist on talking, pick another topic.’
There had to be something that wouldn’t ruin my good mood.
‘Do you still have your tattoo?’
Wrong topic. Wrong topic. Wrong topic.
My hand twitched to my left arm, conscious of my exposed skin. Where Theo had grown his collection, I still only had the one. Fast and Fair. My silence must have been telling.
‘I’m surprised you didn’t get it removed. You know, since you hate me now.’
My jaw flexed. He really was aiming for my sore spots today.
‘It’s a good reminder,’ I said calmly. ‘Wouldn’t want to make the same mistakes again.’
There was a pause before he replied, ‘Me neither.’
‘Yeah, no more befriending and trusting selfish playboys.’ I grinned, forcing levity into my voice despite the heavy weight making my heart sink.
‘No more taking in feral girls off the streets and feeding them.’ His tone mirrored my own.
I scoffed. ‘Classic Vaspre, thinking anything less than a clifftop mansion is living in squalor. The suburbs of Darbonne aren’t exactly the streets, Vaspre. You should let some air out of that giant head of yours and come back down to the ground. It’s nice here.’
‘Is that an invitation?’ Great, his ego was even bigger.
‘No.’
He laughed the rejection off and shrugged, swirling the steam around him. ‘Speaking of the streets, how’s Cam?’
I flinched. ‘Fine.’
Silence. He hadn’t asked about my promise to send a message to his parents. Not even once since I’d said yes.
‘How’s Pops?’ I couldn’t help myself. I knew the door to them was open, but I was too much of a coward to go through.
‘Fine,’ he replied, less judgementally than I’d expected. ‘You could ask him yourself.’
More silence. He didn’t guilt or threaten me over the delayed delivery of my promise. The heat had addled his brain.
‘Ma has been adding potatoes to his stew.’
‘Liar.’ That stew was a sacred recipe passed down through Vaspre men for generations, never to be altered for some bizarre reason no one had ever explained. The memory of Theo’s grandfather in front of the hearth came forth from the back of my mind.
‘He hasn’t even noticed.’
‘You’re serious?’ I observed him, trying to figure out if he was luring me into a trap.
‘She says I need fattening up.’ He smiled as he said it. Not the smug kind, but the boyish one he always had at home. He was telling the truth.
I let out a laugh. It was accidental, but still tentative. Letting myself think about the rest of the Vaspres was like handling a hatchling, precious and delicate.
‘She’s right.’ I could hear her complaining to Theo every time he went home. ‘As someone who can see far too much of you right now, you’re clearly all skin, bone and excessive muscle. It’s like you’re on a mission to make everyone else feel bad.’
‘Is that how looking at me makes you feel, Paldon? Bad?’ His voice dropped, lacing the question with innuendo.
I’d meant his athleticism. I had. I hadn’t been suggestive at all. He’d just decided to make it that way.
Yet that warm feeling in my gut hadn’t gone away and I had a sinking feeling that the heat rising in my cheeks wasn’t from the temperature.
‘No.’ The perfect answer. ‘You don’t make me feel anything at all actually.’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll let you win this time. Since you feel nothing towards me you won’t end up gloating.’ He stood and stretched out.
I made a point of not looking at him as he did so. So I missed him getting closer. By the time I looked again he was standing right in front of me, one hand holding the towel. At my eye level.
‘After all, it’s never been my intention to make you feel bad.’
He actually sounded earnest. I knew better than to believe it though. Another way to mess with me, like the obnoxious flirting.
‘Well,’ he said, backing off towards the door, ‘this time anyway. Don’t think I’ll extend the same courtesy when we race.’
‘Oh, believe me, I know better than that,’ I scoffed. ‘I don’t need your courtesy. We were only two tenths of a second apart over the line, Vaspre. If I’d taken that last corner a fraction tighter I’d have beaten you.’
He smiled, pulling open the door. ‘So you have been running through the race in your head. I knew you hadn’t changed.’
Heat escaped and was replaced by chill air.
‘I’ve changed plenty actually. It’s easier to grow without you around to drag me down.’
‘All right.’ He looked me up and down, lingering at the hem of my towel. ‘I look forward to finding out.’
A shiver ran down my spine, but not from the cool air. My inner thighs tensed, not feeling cold in the slightest. In all of my attempts to move on, I’d forgotten to aim for indifference and somehow ended up with a twisted sense of desire.
Shit.