CHAPTER TWENTY #3
They’d tied back the upper half of my hair.
It was tight against my scalp and the soreness on my face felt even worse.
The lower half was down, thankfully keeping the back of my neck from feeling exposed as everyone stared at me.
I tried not to think about the thousands of people watching me via the casts going out across the continent. I failed.
I wished I had Josie on comms telling me what to do, thinking for me.
Instead, I was alone. It had been my plan from the beginning, to do it all by myself.
Now that I’d had a taste of what it was like to have a team around me I felt even more lonely than before.
It hadn’t mattered that we’d been making it up as we went along.
It hadn’t mattered that Theo was still a rival.
It hadn’t mattered that Colly was clueless about the whole secret.
In embarking on this I’d found that the faraway dream of racing in Volitant didn’t just belong to me, it belonged to my friends too.
It was my friends that I kept at the forefront of my mind as I faced the sea of faces before me.
The overheard lights all pivoted towards me, making me wish I had my helmet visor to dim them.
They cast the rest of the room into relative shadow, making the press into silhouettes, only outlined by their own orbs.
‘Welcome, Lena’ A voice to my left. It was Cooke, the host of the official Volitant Chroma cast network.
At least I knew I’d made a splash if they were bringing out the big name for the interview.
He sat in an identical plush red chair next to mine.
I felt swamped by it. The seat was too deep for my feet to reach the floor if I sat all the way back, so I opted to perch on the edge rather than making myself seem any smaller.
‘Thanks, Cooke. It’s nice to meet you.’ I offered him a tight but hopeful smile.
‘Or have we perhaps met before?’ He leaned forward. His legs reached the floor regardless of where he sat. ‘Because I don’t know how long you’ve been living this lie we’ve been spun. I’ve interviewed Thorne many times over my career, so how many of those was I really speaking to you?’
Ah, so he was going to be a jackass about it.
‘Well, Cooke,’ – The polite smile was wiped off my face. – ‘we spoke after the Mirendi race, but keepers don’t tend to get facetime with celebrities like you, so this is truly the first time we’ve met.’
I could see Martan shifting in my peripheral vision. I took a deep breath and steadied myself – it wouldn’t do me any good to be hauled off the stage early. If I could make it through this I could be with Gottyk again.
‘So it really has been you flying? You know this has caused quite the furore among Volitant fans – a girl taking up the mantle of her mentor –’ My eye twitched.
‘– only to begin surpassing his performance from the previous season. Whether we’ – He gestured outwards to the press and viewers.
– ‘agree with your methods or not, it’s hard to deny that you have been able to blend into the pack at the very least.’
I supposed that was a compliment, even if it was a backhanded one. It definitely wasn’t a question, so I didn’t even try to come up with an answer. Martan had warned me against that.
‘So, Lena, what made you finally decide to come clean? Why did you reveal yourself today during the postponement?’
‘Unfortunately, I suffer from something a lot of us riders do – I’m a hothead.’
The press let out a tentative ripple of laughter. Cooke laughed loudest of all, but his eyes remained soulless. I suppressed a shudder, unsure why my gut was twisting in warning.
‘When the collision happened I lost my composure. I hated to see my teammate get taken out by a move like that.’
‘Your teammate, Bach Lotiere. You must have a strong relationship with him to get so emotional over a racing incident such as this.’
Again, not a question, but passing up a chance to talk about Bach wasn’t something I excelled at.
‘Well, no. I don’t have any kind of friendship with Bach. He didn’t know anything about this. No one did.’ I couldn’t get the words out fast enough. ‘But he is my hero. I mean, I think everyone can agree on that. I didn’t like seeing someone I respect so much get taken out, that’s all.’
A glint appeared in Cooke’s eyes. The stretched-out smile didn’t leave a single wrinkle on his face. The man was devoid of laughter lines. ‘I see. So your reaction, as strong as it was, was you overreacting.’
I frowned. Not a question and not even close to the truth. Before I could defend myself he continued.
‘Isn’t that the trouble of letting girls into the higher echelons of racing?
The volatility of your gender seems like an inherent risk.
Kiestral would be making a bold move in continuing to let you fly, if that is indeed the case.
I can’t remember the last time any of our men got into a fist fight. ’
White noise blocked out the scratching of pencils on paper of the press, of the murmurs that had begun building in the room.
The lights didn’t seem so bright anymore, not now my vision had entirely tunnelled in on Cooke.
My fingertips ground against the arms of the stupid chair they’d sat me in, the fibres felt coarse and abrasive as I dug in.
‘Well, Cooke.’ My breath rushed in and out through my nose.
‘I wouldn’t say that my actions are representative of all women.
Even if they were, I think you might have missed a few news stories on what the riders get up to away from the circuit.
’ I forced a look towards the casting orbs.
Towards the journalists who routinely wrote stories about the wayward nature of the riders in Volitant.
‘Ah, I see. So we shouldn’t be expecting any more then?’ Cooke’s creepy smile didn’t move.
‘Fights? No, of course not.’ It would be a struggle not to try and throttle Gordi and Mac next time I saw them, but I figured I could manage.
‘I mean girls in racing.’
‘What?’ A spike of anger lanced through my chest. How had he reached that conclusion?
‘You said you aren’t representative of all women. You are an outlier, so naturally we can conclude that this is a one-off event. That you only succeeded thanks to your mentor, Thorne.’
Any lid I’d been keeping on my temper was about to fly off.
‘No on so many levels. Women are perfectly capable of racing, Cooke. I’m not the only one.’
He looked down at the notes in his hands, as if they held information that proved otherwise.
‘Then why aren’t there more of you? Why did it take lies and subterfuge for one girl to race?’ He chuckled towards the casting orbs. ‘And you’re not even that good.’
The cord holding the tension inside of me snapped.
‘Because society doesn’t value us the same as men, Cooke.
’ My volume control was gone. ‘Because for every mediocre man there is a heap of money ready and waiting to pay him through the junior classes. Because every time a young girl finishes a race in Junior Drake there’s a group of men talking about her perceived faults, ignoring the ones of the boys she beat.
Because when we do finally get some success there’s a creep waiting to make her feel objectified and unsafe, marring the glory with a layer of slime. ’
Cooke had reclined back in his seat, clutching a hand to his chest in shock. As if this wasn’t exactly what he’d wanted. Behind him at the wings of the room, shadowed away from the lights, was Thorne. He stood there arms folded watching this play out.
The laugh I’d heard outside of the aviary earlier had been Cooke. He and Thorne had known this was their chance. I’d been so worried that Kiestral would be listening to Thorne that I hadn’t considered who else would be on his side.
That’s why Thorne hadn’t dealt with me himself. He hadn’t tried to claim Gottyk back. He didn’t need to. I’d done it all for him.
‘Thank goodness, Lena, that you had Thorne to guide you through this …’ Cooke turned to the press once more, opening his mouth to speak.
It was a trap … and I’d fallen right in.
‘Shut. Up.’ I was on my feet.
Cooke’s coiffed hair bounced as his head whipped back around to me.
I’d already messed the interview up, there was no going back now.
‘Thorne did nothing. Thorne made it worse. Every day that I’ve worked for this team has been made harder by that piss-poor, washed-up rider who can’t even maintain enough integrity to fly his own races.
’ Everything I’d wanted to say for years came pouring out.
‘He’s a corrupt, abusive shit stain of a human being.
Not only has he never taken care of his dragons, but when he does show up he runs them into the ground.
He’s been taking bribes to throw races, tanking Kiestral’s points in favour of his own bank account. ’
That wiped Cooke’s smile off his face.
‘The only thing Thorne has taught me is how sad the reality is in this sport. Though let’s be honest, he’s not stopped there—’
Hands grabbed at me from behind, pulling me away.
‘Do you have any proof of this? I’m sure Abel Gallin would love to see it, as would the press.’ The was an icy nature to the look Cooke gave me. He didn’t like what I’d said one bit.
Two staff members hauled me off to Martan, whose permanent exhaustion had been replaced with pure fury.
‘Get her out of here. Take away her passes. No more uniforms. No more access. Don’t let her speak to anyone or take anything on the way out,’ he hissed to the security team that gathered around me.
I locked eyes with Thorne as I was dragged away. My heart pounded in my chest, but it wasn’t fear. Not anymore. He might have achieved his goal to kick me out, but I wouldn’t let him make me feel small anymore.