CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
When I arrived at the ranch I went directly to the aviary, pulled on some overalls and got to shovelling and raking the copper pellets. I ignored the ghost of Theo’s touch on my skin. I ignored the faint smell of orange and lemon in my hair.
Repetitive manual labour was the only answer.
I had acknowledged the sexual attraction and given in to it only for it to stop before the good part, leaving me two kinds of frustrated.
I had to throw myself into doing something, anything, that could distract me from the wounded look on his stupid face as if he wasn’t the one who’d messed it all up.
‘What happened?’ Josie’s footsteps were gentle across the gravelly floor.
The dragons, who up until now had been ignoring me, raised their heads to watch. Maybe Josie was their favourite. Everyone liked Josie. She was worth apologizing to if she was wronged. Some people weren’t so lucky and that was fine. Absolutely fine.
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ I replied, not pausing as I sifted out the molten chunks of fused copper.
‘You were supposed to be with Theo all of today. You still have your hair done from last night and, hm, what else? Ah, a collection of stills of you going out with Theo and the Prevere boys last night – front page of the racing newspapers and casts.’
The prongs of the rake bent as I shovelled with more vigour.
‘Lena, if you don’t talk about it, you’ll explode. Not to be the one to point out the obvious, but last time that happened you managed to tank your career.’
Abenon plumed smoke out of his nostrils as an errant flick of the rake sent pellets flying his way.
‘At least tell me that you’re okay.’ Her voice softened.
My resolve to work myself to death evaporated. I tossed the rake down and sloshed through the copper to Josie. I flopped my head forward on to her shoulder and stared at our feet.
‘The attention seems to be largely positive.’ Her attempt at making me feel better was sweet, but ineffective.
I closed my eyes. He was there again, kissing me in the dark. So I opened them back up.
‘Theo and I, we—’ I cleared my throat and straightened up, not sure if I could say it out loud.
‘Finally. Why are you mad though? Was he bad? Selfish?’ There was no embarrassment or judgement in her tone. She was talking like this was pure, obvious fact.
‘No!’ I hated how quick I was to correct her. For all the mistakes made the night before, at least he’d been good. Too good.
‘Lena? When I said you needed to talk, I did mean using more than one word at a time.’
‘Ugh.’ I dragged my hands over my face.
She led me to the giant open archway and sat me down outside. I let my head fall back against the wall, watching Vilmaren as she took off into the sky.
Josie joined me on the grass, crossing her legs ‘It makes you feel better, Lena. It might suck at first, but saying the difficult stuff out loud lessens the burden. Even more than punching people does.’
‘Is that why you’re so …?’ I held out my hand, steady as I traced a line in the air.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘How do you think I made it through eight years of Volitant?’
‘I figured you were doing it alone, that you were just better than me.’ She was kind enough to laugh at that. ‘So, what? You tell Jas all your problems?’
Josie sighed, looking out over the ranch. ‘Not usually. Don’t get me wrong. He’s great, but he doesn’t always get it. I find it easier to talk to other women.’
Her fingers tapped on her knees. If there had been a stack of paper she’d have been squaring the corners.
‘Women who you date?’ I kept myself leaning back on the wall, trying to balance out the tension that was keeping Josie’s back overly straight.
‘Yeah.’ She was doing her best to be casual. ‘Everyone here knows, but not at work.’
I shrugged, matching the mood. ‘Good for you. Men are only good for sex anyway. Friendship too, if they’re lucky.’
‘First of all,’ – From her tone and the way she raised a finger it seemed I’d triggered a lecture. – ‘if you think dating women is easier or less dramatic than dating men, you’re wrong.’
I held up my hands in surrender. ‘I have the worst example on the continent for reference, Josie. Cam’s more allergic to relationships than me. The one time she brought a woman home my big scary sister paid me to make breakfast and get her on the next train. I was thirteen and Cam’s a coward.’
Josie’s face expressed a few different emotions as I recounted the happy memory: shock, confusion, disdain … then concern.
‘What? Because your sister set a bad example, you don’t do relationships? At all?’ Of all the information she could have picked to investigate further, she had to go for that one. She really was wasted as a keeper.
I scrunched up my face. Talking about feelings was one thing, but explaining the reason why was another. I sighed, locking my hands behind my neck.
‘Why would I? No relationship ends well. If someone doesn’t bail out early then you’re stuck hating each other forever. Quitting is the better option, but avoiding it all together is best.’ Cam had really set a good example.
‘So, you’ve been raised by your disaster of a sister. Your only childhood friend was Theo Vaspre, who flirts with anything that moves, but has been surprisingly loyal this year. And as an adult you’ve just been having casual sex instead of any emotional connection?’
I nodded, content to not touch the root of the topic. ‘Yeah, that sums it up pretty well.’
‘That’s why you’re here all angry and hurt … because Theo wanted more than just sex?’
My eyes bulged. ‘How the fuck did you do that?’
‘I’m always right, Lena.’ She leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows, satisfied.
‘Fine. If you’re such a know-it-all, what do I do about it?
He betrayed my trust years ago, which I am very much not over by the way, and wriggled back into my life to blackmail me.
’ My anger poured out, heightening every time I listed a new issue with Theo.
‘Then he somehow managed to become my friend again, ended up having my back when I needed him, but then goes and says “I’m never letting you go” while I’ve got my legs wrapped around him! He knows about my parents—’
My steam ran out, leaving me limply hanging on to the last thought. My chest shuddered as I tried to take a deep breath.
Josie sat up again and shuffled over, bumping her shoulder against mine. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to say everything on your first go.’
I clamped my lips together and nodded, relieved.
‘To answer your question though,’ she said. ‘Talk to him. Call him out for what he did and see what he says in return. It could make you feel awful or it could go better than you expect, but either way you can move on. Holding on to all this isn’t healthy.’
‘Do I have to?’
‘You’re a whiny toddler when you’re hungover, did you know that?’ She produced a sealed envelope from her back pocket. ‘It’s almost enough to make me hide this from you.’
My brain fuzzed. He’d sent a message already.
‘Don’t be a coward.’ She pressed it into my hands. ‘And don’t be slow. I want to know what it says.’
It was addressed to me, with the address of Bach’s ranch. I’d given Theo the code for the local Comms Office, who knew where to forward messages. An express stamp marked the corner.
‘Miss Lena Paldon.’ I read the enclosed note aloud. ‘You are invited by Miss Hough to attend a luncheon at the Edimon tomorrow afternoon at one o’clock. Punctuality and appropriate dress are expected.’
We both stared at the note. A mixture of relief and disappointment swirled through me.
‘Well,’ I said. ‘It’s not from Theo.’
‘Maybe I don’t need to worry about your cognitive functions after all.’
‘Very funny.’ I grimaced at Josie. Something in the back of my mind twitched when I read the name, but I couldn’t work out why. ‘Ever heard of Miss Hough?’
‘No idea, but the Edimon is that massive glass hotel in the city. So whoever she is, she’s loaded.’
‘Should I go? It seems kind of sketchy.’
Josie pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Lena, if some rich person wants to speak with you and you need money, you go.’
I looked down at the note like the answers would appear if I just wanted them enough.
‘I guess I have a lunch date tomorrow.’
I wore one of the nicer outfits Theo had supplied. A tight black shirt, high-waisted, loose grey trousers with faint pink pinstripes and black boots. It was as formal as I could get from the selection available.
The Edimon was in view miles before the train reached the nearby station.
It was one of the biggest and most impressive buildings in all of the city.
At night it reflected the colourful lights of the buildings, but during the day it looked like the rest of the sky around it – clear cloudless blue.
I’d walked past it dozens of times without giving it much thought, yet now it held a potential future for me … maybe.
When I reached it at street level I could see just how fancy it was.
A cream carpet was rolled out in front of the wide entrance.
Cream. Showing off that you have a limitless cleaning budget was definitely how to let people know you were a high-end establishment.
I’d spent years scrubbing for the most profitable sport on the continents and commiserated with their cleaning staff.
The moment I stepped on the carpet the doorman sprang into action, pulling open the gold-framed glass door for me. I nodded to him, feeling awkward.
The lobby was equally as luxurious, even more so with an indoor fountain that filled the space with a gentle trickling noise. The light marble floor had thin veins of grey running through it, keeping up with the pale theme. The whole thing must have been at least twenty storeys.
I felt distinctly out of place in my dark outfit. It seemed the hostess thought the same, because she came over with a too-polite smile and her shoulders squared off.
‘May I help you, ma’am?’
It was the first time in my life I’d ever been called ma’am.
‘I’m here to meet Miss Hough for lunch.’