CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
MASON
Asoft sigh escapes my lips as I stretch on the bed and turn around, looking at the door ahead of me. I keep my eyes on the wooden frame as I sit up and lean against the headboard, a slow breath leaving my nose.
I feel different today.
Different in the sense that something’s changed.
That I don’t have to worry about who’s watching from the shadows.
That my days of being pushed around and controlled are fucking over.
And I feel closer to Saint. I never thought I’d ever want someone.
I have been too focused on surviving my entire life.
But now the storm slowly settles, damn, I can’t stop thinking about him.
I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s putting everything on the line for me.
That his first instinct was to protect me. Damn near no one has ever done that for me.
But I love that he does. I love that he sees me as someone worth saving. Someone worth defying everything for. And I just can’t wait to prove to him how much he means to me.
As I try to get off the bed, the door creaks open, and Saint walks in in black shorts, bare, solid chest exposed, firm hands holding the serving platter.
“I made you some toast. I hope you like it.” He grins at me and sets the tray on the nightstand.
Then he leans in and presses a kiss on my forehead.
My body radiates with warmth so bright that a shiver runs down my spine.
I’d better start believing this because we are both here to stay, and no matter what happens, we’ll come out together at the end.
“I got to brush my teeth first.”
“No problem at all. I’ll get my plate.” He says and straightens up.
He leaves the room while I enter the restroom to get myself ready.
When I’m done, I place my hands on the vanity and stare at my reflection.
All the scars and injuries. Some I’ve gotten from my uncle, the others from Cyrus and Vincent.
I inhale sharply, arms tightening as something raw moves through me.
I’m safe here. I’ll always be.
I step out of the bathroom and meet Saint already eating from his plate. He’s sitting on the bed with a tray carefully placed on his lap. Before I get into bed with him, I take my time to take in the ruggedly handsome man in front of me. And damn, I love what I see.
His dark brown eyes find mine, and the corners of his mouth quirk up into a smirk.
“You look really handsome today.”
“Just today?” He quizzes as I get into bed.
“I mean, you do every day.”
He chuckles and looks at me. He comes closer and presses a kiss on my forehead, eyes taking in my features with a burning intensity. His lips move a bit as if he has something to say, but doesn’t know how to put it together. Finally, he sighs. “Thank you, and you look really good as well.”
“Really good?” I pout.
“I’m joking. You’re the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”
“So, you look at other men?” I cross my arms and pout even more.
“Oh, no, baby. It’s always been you. Since the moment I laid my eyes on you.”
I try not to remember what happened the first night we met. I don’t blame Saint entirely. He didn’t know the circumstances of our first meeting. He didn’t know that Vincent and my uncle found it so easy to exploit my sexuality.
His expression hardens, and he lifts his food and sets it aside. He reaches out to my cheeks slowly, and he caresses them with the back of his hand. A soft smile settles on his lips when I lean into his touch.
“I think we need to talk.” He mutters.
“Maybe after breakfast?” I try to push the conversation away. Somehow, I had a gut feeling where this was going. Discomfort settles in my stomach, but I ignore it.
“Fine. After breakfast.” He agrees. “Now come on, let’s eat. Or do you want me to feed you?” He asks with subtle excitement.
“Yes, I’d like that.” He pulls me closer. For some time, we eat in silence. I try to relax with my body in his arms, even though what’s about to happen is unavoidable. Hell, I’m surprised he listened to me earlier and would wait until we finished eating.
I loved that.
After we finish, he sets the trays aside and faces me, taking my hands gently. “Are you ready?”
“Not really, but go on…” I give him a nod and prepare for the sting of the memory.
I have never talked about what I have experienced at all.
I have only put my feelings away and moved on.
It feels odd sitting here with Saint. Weeks ago, he wouldn’t even admit how much he wanted me or the feelings he had for me.
“Last night, while you were asleep. I met up with Ali. I hired him while we were at Genesis together.” He states, voice calm and firm. “First, I’d like to say that Vincent and Neo have been captured. They’ll never hurt you again.”
A rush of relief moves through me, so intensely that my body trembles. Tears gather in the lower lids of my irises, and I tighten my hand around him.
“I also learned how you signed the contract. How you never wanted to be there.”
The tears roll down my cheeks. Trailing hot. His voice drops, and he rubs my hands with his thumbs.
“Saint…”
“I’m sorry. If I had known that you never wanted to be there, I wouldn’t have touched you.”
“You asked if I was okay. I said yes.” I look up at him, my eyes red from the ache sitting in my chest. He’s being my safe space in this moment, and I really appreciate it, even though it feels foreign.
“You never had a choice.” His voice shakes.
“Your uncle exploited your sexuality for his own gain. But it’s over.
You don’t have to worry about him. Once I find him, I’d get rid of him.
” He inhales sharply and looks at me. “Hey, baby.” His voice is firm and soft.
“I want you to always feel comfortable with me. I’m not the best man in the room when it comes to intimacy, but I promise I’ll do better.
For me. For you. And I want you to always speak up if I do something you don’t like.
To always tell me what you want and always be open to me.
” He reaches out to me again, and I lift my gaze, finally meeting his.
“Come here.” He gives me a nod. I close the gap between us and slip into the tenderness of his body.
I wrap my hand around his back while he holds me upright.
A mangled sound escapes my lips, and he tightens his arms around me.
“Don’t let me go, please.”
“You are safe here.” He presses an affectionate kiss on my shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
“I didn’t think it would be over.”
“Don’t worry. It is. I won’t let any of them hurt you.” He kisses me again and again.
And damn, I fucking believe him. This is real. The monstrosities from my past are over. I can finally have a normal life where I don’t have to worry about my abusers. But a quiet hollow feeling settles in my chest because I’m not sure who I am when I’m not surviving.