CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
ELIO
Istand by the window, watching the trees move toward the wind.
It’s been three days. Three days since we left the city behind to stay in this place.
And still I know nothing because Bernard woke up last night, and he hasn’t spoken to anyone about what happened to Saint.
I need to know, even though I can already tell. I just want to hear it from him.
Sighing, I move into the kitchen to get a bottle of water to calm my nerves. Ali sits opposite Bernard at the small dining table, taking medication for his injury. The older man looks at me, and I smile as I open the fridge and fasten my hands around a water bottle.
“How are you?”
“So much better.” He answers.
“Any information on Saint?”
“He’s not ready to speak yet.” Ali interrupts me. “I honestly don’t know why you still work for those morons after they did this to your face.”
I swallow hard, stomach stinging with a sharp stab of betrayal. I caused that. I’m sure that if Bernard knew about it, he wouldn’t even try to rescue me.
“Don’t worry about me.” Bernard hums and leans forward.
“You got shot. I’m always going to be worried.”
“I have been through way worse. I’ll be fine.”
I watch their exchange, the worry in Ali’s eyes. The affection in Bernard’s.
Bernard finally looks up at me, shoulders falling with a sigh. “He’s in the Red Vault. There’s nothing we can do.”
“What? We can’t just leave him there.” I point out.
“Look, kid. What’s more important is that we got you out of the city,” Ali utters. “When Tobias sets his son free, Saint will have to kill you to prove his loyalty. Bernard was there the first time. He couldn’t stop it. He’s done his best for you, so you should leave the city.”
“I am not leaving him behind!” I maintain, even though my voice shakes.
I have been running my whole life, and I’m not abandoning Saint.
Not when he didn’t abandon me. When he saw everything about me and stayed.
When he deemed my betrayal invalid because of how he feels about me.
If I leave him behind, I destroy a part of myself.
I’m not ready to do that.
“No.” I snap at them.
Ali barrels forward. “I won’t let you put my husband in danger. I barely see him because of our jobs. The Red Vault isn’t even in Kingston City. It’s on a private island, and it’s heavily secured.”
“I told you the kid’s stubborn.” Bernard chuckles, but Ali doesn’t find his words amusing.
“No. I’m not leaving him.”
“Then you’d better learn how to shoot a gun. How to fight, otherwise you’re just a liability, and you’re going to get caught, and it’ll be worse for you.”
I don’t answer his questions.
I don’t really know what to say.
Because he is right.
I step out of the kitchen and head outside to take a run, following the short path that goes around a lake and back to the house. Breath spilling out of my lungs in quick heaves, my shoes stomp into the gravel as I race down the path.
Ali’s right.
No matter how much I try to make up these scenarios in my head, rescuing Saint is dangerous.
I don’t know how to fight, and quite frankly, I’m not sure if I can lay my hand on a gun without recalling the night that I got shot by my uncle.
This was supposed to be a new start for me. I’m not supposed to be tossed into more darkness after waking up in that hospital. It’s supposed to be sunshine and roses.
The best option for me is to leave. To run far away. David’s dead. Vincent is a prisoner in the Red Vault. There’s no fucking way anyone would ever find me again.
I can figure my life out. Start over. Forget I ever met Saint. I mean, if this goes wrong, I’ll be the one on my knees, and Saint will hold a gun to my head.
I stop in my tracks, panting. Out of breath, I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Dr. Khadija’s work line. “Hello, Elio, how are you?”
“I’m not doing so well. Are you free to talk?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I’m not sure if I’ll make it to our next session. Things aren’t going as planned.”
“Oh—”
“I’m not running away, though. It’s just so complicated.”
“What is it you wanted to speak about?”
I sigh, breathing in heavily. “Hypothetical question, if you lose someone who’s close and personal to you, and you had an opportunity to get them back, but getting them back means you have to face a part of you you’ve been avoiding. What would you do?”
“Well, hypothetically speaking, if this person is so important to me and would do the same for me, then I’ll go all the way for them.”
“I know.” My voice comes out small. “But…”
“He is in trouble, isn’t he?” she sighs.
“He is.”
“Elio, I think you’re still trying to separate yourself from that night. You did what you had to do to survive. Just because you made the choice to live when you only had two options doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re not actively trying to hurt anyone, no?”
“I’m not.” I agree. I want to help people. I have been really thinking about what I could do with my life as a way to keep myself calm. So far, I haven’t come up with anything yet, but I’m definitely certain an inspiration will hit at the right time.
“There’s your answer.” She says. “If there’s anything else you need…”
“I’ll call. Thank you.”
I get on my feet and dust my ass cheeks, then I jog toward the house.
I have been trying to play fair in an unfair world, tossed into scenarios where people used me to get what they want. Unlike me, they don’t care about who gets hurt or how their decisions affect others. They only care about their goals and what they want.
I care about Saint.
I care about getting him out of there.
And the men who work for his father aren’t ready to bargain with me. They are trained to kill enemies, and right now, I’m the enemy. They don’t care if I’ve been holding onto the good parts of me my whole life.
I’m an enemy, and enemies don’t get mercy.
Besides, being good has gotten me walked all over.
The house comes into view, and I come to a halt, grabbing my knees as I hunch over, panting heavily. I race back into the house and meet Ali and Bernard exactly where I’d left them.
They see me walk past the living room to the bathroom.
Before I take a shower and change my bandage, I look at myself in the mirror.
I look at every part of me, from my head to my toes.
That night at the beach, I was separating Mason from myself.
Cause I still couldn’t wrap my head around what I’d done.
But Mason was there for me throughout my college days.
He kept me together until I graduated and got a job in a small town.
He’s always been there for me. Just because he embodies all the negative emotions inside of me doesn’t mean he’s wrong.
Just because he embodies the strength inside me doesn’t mean he’s wrong.
Saint has given me hope. He’s made me want to fight through every day.
I need to believe things will get better, and if there’s anything I can do to make it better, I will.
I won’t be the person who things keep happening to.
I won’t be the victim. I have to fight.
“I’m down to do whatever it takes, Ali. If I have to train, I fucking will.”
Ali and Bernard exchange glances, and Ali finally looks up at me with an exhausted sigh.
“Talk.” I move toward them and pull out a chair.
“Doing this means you have to go against the King himself.”
“Fine.” I agree. “What’s our plan?” Even though a part of me is terrified, I have to be strong. I have to go against the bigger monster to save Saint. I have to do everything it takes.
“Cyrus Deveraux.” Ali reveals. A cold, steel look settles over his features.