CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
SAINT
Dark. Pitch black. Soundless.
I have lost count of the hours I have stayed here.
Days maybe? Months even?
My father’s methods are ruthless. He’ll keep me here for as long as he needs so he can get what he wants.
But he won’t break me this time, not when I have something to hold on to.
All steel walls. No windows. No light. Just darkness and a single ventilation system above the vaulted steel ceiling.
Red Vault was built shortly before I turned eighteen.
I was one of its first prisoners. And after I’d been in here for weeks in this room, I became a pathetic mess, just the way my father wanted it.
I sit in the dark corner. Wrists and ankles bound in chains. Body fighting off the infection and the excruciating pain of the bullet wound on my shoulder. Eyes closed. Body taut and trembling.
Every part of me aches.
Skin, bones, and soul.
I keep my head bowed between my legs. It’s easier that way. I don’t have to watch the walls close in on me. I don’t have to shatter into pieces while trying to keep my pulse steady or my breath even.
Every contribution I made to this family means nothing to my father.
Not when I’m homosexual because loving a man makes you less of a man.
It makes you a fucking bitch. I opened my heart to Elio.
For the first moments of my life, I didn’t let my ambition outweigh what I’m supposed to share with the man my heart beats for.
Yes, I was reckless. I stepped out of line and did things without thinking thoroughly.
But I did it for him.
To protect him.
Because he’s the first man who made me realize that breaking apart wasn’t shameful.
I remember what happened to my mother. I didn’t exactly know how she died, but years later, my uncle revealed the truth to me.
She died so violently that it still disturbs my soul whether she’s found peace at all.
Especially from my wretched father. I hated him for the role he played in her death.
Neglecting her. Putting the family legacy above all else, disregarding the vows he’d made to her at the altar.
I didn’t know exactly why she’d done it. If Tobias had been present in her life, in her marriage, if he could have gotten out of his head and seen the way the woman he married was suffering, maybe he could have helped her.
And I hated him for it. Secretly. Silently hated him.
This is his power move. To remind me he’s the king piece on the fucking chessboard. My whole life, he’s given me an illusion of power. He snatched it from my hands when his idea of a future for me didn’t align with what he wanted.
Heart thudding in my chest, my body breaks down, giving in to the ache from the wound.
I quiver, slow, hurtful tremors, dancing across my skin.
Quick, aching breaths scrape out of my lungs.
My eyes search the darkness. But there’s nothing here.
Nothing here except me. Except for the rattling of chains against my wrists and ankles.
I think of him.
Sun rising from a clear sky on a warm summer day. Radiance. Opposite of everything I am, yet so much more similar.
I told him I’d come back. I told him he didn’t have to worry. Hell, I wanted to tell him that I love him. But I’m never making it back.
I don’t know how long my father intends to keep me in this place.
But I’m very much aware that when he sets me free, it will be my past all over again.
This time, I won’t have to kill my first kiss, but a man I have defied all odds to be with.
A man I have let myself want. A man, my body and soul itch for every second of every day.
The aftereffect of what that’s like sits like a hollow, aching feeling in my chest. It lingers, cutting deep like a double-edged sword.
If father touches a hair on his head, I swear on my life, I’d make him regret it.
If it means I’ll lose everything, then so fucking be it. He’s been through enough already.
The quiet promise sits in my chest as I lean against the wall.
Cold leeches from the metal to my solid back.
A shuddering breath quakes out of my lungs.
I shut my eyes, tilting my head up to the ceiling.
When I open them, the steel door whooshes as it slides open, and golden light, just like the rays of the sun, spills in, chasing the darkness away.
I pull my knees up to my chest and shield my face with my hands.
When the light fades, he’s standing there, looking at me. Dark brown skin. Brown eyes. Lean-muscled body. My eyes have memorized him so many times it’s etched into my soul.
Elio Layton.
“Saint…” his voice hums through the throbbing silence. I throw my head back and breathe deeply, his intoxicating citrus scent flooding my lungs. It’s almost like it’s an antidote to the pain racking through my body. “Saint…” he whispers again.
Chains rattle as I move. Before I can touch him, electricity jolts through my entire body.
A strangling croak chokes out of my lips.
I crash against the floor, convulsing from the pain of the current.
Darkness floods in quickly. The room bends and twists at the edge of my vision.
I try to make it stop. I squeeze my eyes and open them back, but the room is spinning now.
My heart tightens, and my lungs burn for air.
I claw at the floor as trembling breath scrapes out through my nostrils.
Then my eyes snap to the shadows looming above me. White teeth stretch into a decadent smile. A sardonic laugh filters through the silence, then a tray clatters against the floor.
“The fucker.” The man in the uniform spits on me, and he slams his boot into my stomach, then my face.
Blood gurgles out of my lips, leaking onto the floor and pooling beneath my cheek.
Footsteps retreat quickly. Then it’s darkness all over again.
It comes from every corner of the room like swirling smoke, snaking around my body and wrapping taut around my skin.
I gasp for breath, my vision warping in and out.
My body pounds with bone-deep pain as I force myself to sit up and fall against the vertical wall.
My vision readjusts and rests on the fruit on the plate.
An apple.
I don’t hesitate for a second. I reach for it and bite into the appealing fruit. The flavors explode on my tongue, and I shut my eyes and inhale deeply, relishing the taste.
I can’t keep staying like this.
Steeped in this darkness while the outside world moves to its accord.
I have to escape.
I have to find Elio.
Most of all, I have to prove to Tobias King that he can’t get rid of me that easily.