Chapter 7 #2
He asks like we’re on vacation or something. I didn’t ask to come here. Where the hell would we go with me looking like this? We would draw too much attention, and people would think that he beats me.
“I’d like to go home,” I say, my irritation shining through.
Cash sighs. “We talked about that, Hazel. You can’t go home.”
“Then I want to call Cady.”
“No one can know you’re here right now. It’s best this way.”
“Best for who, Cash? For you?” I grind out.
He rubs my shoulder with his thumb, attempting to ease me.
“You can’t, not yet. I’m sorry. If Phil finds out where you are before we find him, I’m afraid he’ll try to finish what he started.
And if your friends know, he may do something to them to find out.
We don’t know what he could be thinking right now. ”
“He’s not even in Trinity.”
Cash frowns and pushes my hair over my shoulder. He keeps touching me as if he has to prove every word he said yesterday. The more he does it, the more I crave it, even when I’m upset with him.
“How do you know?”
“Before you guys kidna—” The word catches in my throat with the scowl that Cash gives me. “Took me, the cop came to the door and said they were pulling my detail. That Phil was spotted several times hours away from Trinity.”
He stares off at the wall in deep thought. “It’s going to be hard to find him then.”
“Is it really necessary?”
“Absolutely!” His voice booms through the room, and I jump. Cash leans forward, elbows on his knees, and runs his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry.”
My hand runs down his back reassuringly, his tense muscles relaxing some. He sits up and turns to me, taking my hands in his.
“It’s very necessary, Hazel. He needs to be stopped.”
“The cops will find him. I have to go home soon and explain everything, so they don’t arrest you guys.”
“Fuck the cops,” he says, cupping my face and inching closer to me. “They won’t do shit to him. He’ll be out walking the streets in a year, if they even put him in jail at all. Do you want that?”
“No,” I whisper without hesitation.
Cash’s lips lightly touch mine before pressing harder with conviction.
“I’ll do what it takes to end this,” he promises.
I know he will, and it worries me. Phil doesn’t care what it takes to get what he wants.
He will do anything and everything to obtain it.
Cash going head-to-head with him scares the shit out of me.
There is no fighting fair. We are well beyond that point.
More people could be hurt. Phil could lose his mind altogether and kill people in cold blood.
He could kill Cash. The thought of losing him pains me.
My lips brush his again, and I nibble on the bottom one.
I don’t want to think about Phil or what the outcome will be.
I want this moment with Cash, and only him.
Every moment we’ve spent together has been tainted by something.
But right now, being here with him away from everything that brought us together, is our time to bring a sort of purity to whatever we are becoming.
There are no more secrets or lies holding us back.
We can be who we are and what we need to be for each other.
Cash groans slightly and grips my face, pulling me toward him.
His lips crash into mine, taking my breath and all other thoughts, except for him, away.
I slip between his lips, and his mouth closes around my tongue, sipping on it like fine wine.
He lies back on the couch, pulling me with him.
When I don’t move fast enough, he slides his hand to the back of my head and yanks me down.
I bump against him roughly and groan when my softness meets his hardness.
The throbbing ache in my body intensifies, screaming for him to feed the discomfort that has been keeping me going.
He sits up suddenly, pushing me away, and scoots back to put more space between us. Cash gazes at me with longing and confusion as his chest rapidly rises and falls. I’m sure I mirror him exactly.
“I hurt you,” he states, and I turn away in frustration. “I got carried away. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry,” I fume. “I want you to fucking touch me.”
He lets out a breath, and I turn back to him, my eyes searching his. His confusion reduces until only lust remains. Cash scoots over to me again and tucks my hair behind my ear. He kisses my jaw then flicks my lobe with his tongue.
“I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
Fuck gentle. Fuck tiptoeing around me. Fuck being terrified of touching me.
I’m not fragile. I’m already broken. Cash can’t do anything to me physically that I haven’t already endured and bounced back from.
This man is driving me insane. One minute he wants to be what I need, and the next he pushes me away, afraid to give in.
No more. He steps up, or I’m stepping out.
I can’t do this. I can’t play these goddamn games right now.
I place my hand on his chest and shove him back.
His shock and hurt meets my fury. Cash doesn’t understand what’s going on because he doesn’t want to see it.
He thinks I need saving. I don’t need anyone to save me.
I need someone to stand next to me who understands what I’ve been through, and who will offer a helping hand if I stumble.
There is no saving me. Who I was no longer exists.
Who sits here now is just as much a mystery to me as they are to him.
“Fuck. That.”
I’m too pissed to explain it to him. I push myself off the couch to get a moment alone and get my emotions in check.
He tries to grab me, but I slap his hand away.
Tunnel vision sets in as I ignore all the photos of Cash that surround me and go to my temporary bedroom.
I’m just a prisoner to those in my life.
They take and take and take, never considering what I want or need.
The door slams behind me, making me jump and spin around. Cash looms over me, his anger radiating through his stiff body. It only infuriates me more.
“Get the fuck out,” I grate.
His nostrils flare, and his hands tighten into fists. I pissed him off. Good. Now that he’s paying attention maybe he can understand. What I’m going through isn’t normal. I didn’t ask him to fix me. I want him to want me for who I am now. Can he accept that, though?
Cash backs me further into the room. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fine! Then I’ll fucking leave,” I shout.
I push against him to get around to the door, but it’s no use. Furious, I shove at him with all my might. He doesn’t budge. I scream in frustration, and the fucker actually smirks. Before I can even think, my palm connects with his face.
The sound of that slap silences everything, and I stand there stunned at what I just did. I’ve never laid a hand on anyone before. I’ve never been so angry I’ve wanted to hurt someone. Well, except Phil, but he terrified me so much I couldn’t act.
Cash stands there for a second, head turned to the side and eyes closed, before raising his hand to touch his reddening cheek.
I drop my head in shame, but somewhere deep down is a sense of gratification.
I really am changing. It sounds like sandpaper when his fingers rub against the scruff on his jaw.
When I muster up the courage to raise my chin, his head is tilted, and his lids are open a sliver in a challenge.
Cash has never looked more like a predator than he does now.
I don’t know whether to fight and run or make myself as small as possible in the hopes he can’t see me and leaves.
My heart races in anticipation of what will happen next.
He moves, and I flinch. His brow raises as he steps toward me, and I stay frozen in my spot, calculating his next move.
Cash circles me, his body brushing against mine.
Warmth spreads through me as he comes to a stop, resting against my back.
His chest rises and falls in easy breaths making mine quicken.
I focus on the door halfway across the room and try to get myself under control.
He lowers his head next to my ear and speaks evenly.
“Everything I’ve done has been to protect you.
” He runs a finger over my shoulder sending a shiver through my body.
“You wanted me to let you in.” The warmth of his breath bathes my ear as I fight the will to remain still.
“I’ve done that.” He grabs my hair and yanks my head back, forcing me to look at him.
His jaw tightens, and his voice deeply rumbles as he says, “I’ve done it all for you. ”
If I thought the real Cash was who he showed me last night, then this is the demon who haunts him.
The one he fights to keep hold of the reigns, so it doesn’t eat him alive.
What happened in his past that has to be guarded so fiercely?
He may have opened himself to get closer to me, but he hasn’t allowed me to get closer to him.
“Have you really let me in?”
Cash’s eye twitches as he grits his teeth.
“I didn’t ask you for anything,” I spit, anger growing again. “Remember?”
His arm snakes around my waist and slides up my shirt. “I remember someone begging me to take their pain away.”
The palm of his hand lifts my breast gently, his thumb stroking my hardening nipple. My breath hitches as he rubs against the teeth marks around it.
Cash’s lips brush against my ear as he speaks. “I remember that same person taking some of mine. Would taking the rest of it make you feel closer to me?”
He squeezes my breast and bites the sensitive spot below my ear. I grab the back of his neck and cry out, my knees buckling.
“I never wanted you to see this side of me,” Cash confesses, his tongue gliding over my neck above the belt mark. “I honestly thought you could erase it completely without you ever knowing it was there.”