Chapter 9 Lila
Lila
‘Get the fuck out of bed, bitch go’ . My alarm repeats the techno beat over and over, jarring me out of a nightmare. I’m grateful. Being trapped in a nightmare of a terrible memory is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. My face and pillow are wet. I must have been crying in my sleep.
Realizing I have just enough time to get in the shower and make myself breakfast. I quickly check the cameras before I leave my library, all clear. I opt for some pop-tarts, a small cup of coffee, just to make it in without falling asleep on the drive. Then I fill my tumbler with ice water.
When I arrive, Valerie greets me as soon as I come into the rear door. “Hey, girl. I hope you didn’t already have too much coffee? I brought one for you. Just the way you like.” She got here before me today.
“I will always accept more coffee.” I laugh.
I move to sit next to her at my own desk and organize all my things, then open up orders for print.
“Which books did you grab at the bookstore yesterday?”
Oh god, yesterday. I’m so exhausted and more than just physically, so much happened that I can’t even imagine it all being just one day.
“I actually didn’t get anything. Eli got into my account and locked it. I guess I should call the bank and close that account.”
“Are you fucking serious right now, Lila?” She asks, and I can tell she’s angry on my behalf. “I thought he was leaving you alone?”
“I guess not,” I reply. Rubbing my temples. “He chased me into my library and I had to block the door.” Leaving out the fiasco about the stalker, I must have a magnet somewhere on my body for unhinged men.
She looks speechless for a moment. A thousand thoughts running through her head. Advice she wants to give but doesn’t know which first.
“Lila, you need to leave him before he kills you. You said he’s hit you before. Men like that don’t just stop. They may get distracted by other things, but it always gets worse.”
The bell chimes and one of our regulars walks in with a pickup order. Leaving as soon as it’s picked up.
“I’m never going to be okay with this Lila,” she says. “Go call the bank and get everything fixed. I want you to start calling or even text me a code word when you get home on work nights. If I don’t hear from you, I’m showing up at your house.”
“Maybe a code word would be best. How about fluffy?”
She laughs and shakes her head, “Sure, fluffy is good.”
The bell chimes again. This time it’s Mia, late and rushing as usual. Late or not, she always lightens any mood when she’s around. Her laugh is infectious.
“Hey there, my beautiful bitches!” She nearly yells. “You get me a coffee too, Valerie?”
“I sure did. It’s in the microwave. Grab it and get out here.”
She goes and gets her coffee and I fill her in on the details of yesterday, again leaving out my stalker. She agrees with Valerie, both offering me a place to stay for however long I want.
If I do decide to leave Eli, I can’t stay here or anywhere nearby. I’d have to go into hiding. He’s said before, I’m either his, or no one’s. And that was definitely meant to be a threat. He would come find me.
On break I walk into the back room and make that dreaded call to the bank. The teller answers the phone and after telling her my details and she pulls up my account, she starts apologizing profusely.
“It’s okay,” I lie.
“Ma’am, we had no idea it wasn’t you on the phone, whoever called in, we thought it was you. She had all your information,” she says.
Eli must have used a voice changer. The lengths he goes to for control is insane.
She continues, “I put a highlight on your account. No one is to access it but you, in person, from here on out. We’ve already changed your account information and will be mailing you the details. You can also pull it up with the app.”
“Don’t mail them. I don’t have access to anything that comes through the mail. Can we just change my address?” I ask.
“We can. In light of the situation. Would you be able to come in later today and confirm the changes in person for us?”
“Yes, right after work.”
Once I clock out for the day, I head straight to the bank. We go through the motions and I decide to have my banking mail set to Mia’s house. Signing what I need to sign to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
That was easier than I thought it would be. But that means I’ll have to change my direct deposit numbers tomorrow when I get to the shop. They’re sending me a new debit card to Mia’s house. But now, I can’t spend money on anything big or Eli will know my account is back under my control.
Fuck my life. I wish I had known he would be like this before I married him.
Showering me with gifts, opening doors, being a complete gentleman…
into whatever this is as soon as we left the courthouse.
Every time I would try to leave, he would shower me with gifts all over again and apologize.
‘It will never happen again’ he would say.
Even after hitting me. He would stop, but only for a short time.
This has been the longest era of faux peace, three months before yesterday.
If peace is what I should even call it, that just came to an abrupt end last night had me fearing the worst. He would have hurt me if he’d caught me before I locked myself away. Now I fear going home.
I’ll have to make it a point to check the cameras before I get home to make sure his car isn’t there.
If he’s home, I can try staying gone until he’s asleep or just rush straight into my library like before.
What a way to live! Usually, when he gets wound up like that, he leaves for anywhere from 3 days to a week or even two. God knows where he goes.