Chapter 34 Lila #2
“Hell yes,” she agrees, instantly brightening. “Can we blast Slipknot with the windows down like we’re teenagers again?”
“Is there any other way to drive a new car?”
We fall back into our comfortable rhythm, Valerie helping a customer choose the right paperweight for their resume, me finally finishing Mrs. Chen’s business cards, Mia calling suppliers about a late delivery. The morning passes in a pleasant blur of routine tasks and friendly banter.
Just before lunch, the bell above the door jingles.
I look up from the binding machine to see Anthony walking in, a bouquet of bright yellow wildflowers in hand.
He’s wearing a dark blue button-down that brings out his eyes, sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. Five months together, and the sight of him still makes my heart skip.
“Ladies,” he greets, handing a single flower to both Mia and Valerie before his gaze finds mine. His smile deepens, reaching his eyes in that way that makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room.
“Delivery for Ms. Angelo,” he says, crossing to my workstation and presenting the flower and a bag of my favorite chewy candy with a slight bow.
“What’s the occasion?” I ask, taking the bouquet. The wildflowers are vibrant and cheerful, their bright faces turned up like they’re seeking light.
“Do I need an occasion to bring flowers to the most beautiful woman in the world?” He leans in, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek.
Valerie makes a gagging noise from behind the counter. “God, you two are nauseating.”
“You love it,” Mia calls to her, coming around to give her brother a hug.
“I do.” Valerie concedes.
I catch Anthony’s eye over the flowers, sharing a private smile.
This easy banter, the way he fits into my world.
It still feels miraculous sometimes. After years of Eli isolating me from everyone, having someone who genuinely likes my dearest friends and wants to be part of my life is both foreign and wonderful.
“Still on for after work?” Anthony asks me, his voice dropping slightly. “I can meet you at the house, or we can go together from here.”
The house. My stomach tightens at the thought.
I haven’t been back since that day Eli threw me down the stairs.
The day I escaped through the library window.
The police had gathered evidence for weeks afterward, and then the lawyers had to sort out the property issues.
Even though it’s legally mine now as part of the divorce settlement, I’ve been avoiding it because I never wanted any of it.
But my books are still there, in the library that was my only sanctuary in that house of horrors.
“Together,” I say firmly. “I don’t think I can go there alone.”
He nods, understanding in his eyes. “I’ll be here at five then.”
“Lila,” Mia says, her expression serious. “You don’t have to do this today. The house isn’t going anywhere.”
“Neither are my books,” I reply. “But it’s time. I’m ready.”
Anthony’s hand finds mine, fingers intertwining. “I’ll be right beside you. And we’ll only stay as long as you want.”
“I know.” I squeeze his hand, drawing strength from his steady presence. “It’s just books. In and out.”
But it’s not just books. It’s facing the scene of my near-death, the place where Eli tried to destroy me. It’s reclaiming the only part of that house that ever truly belonged to me.
“I’ll bring boxes,” Valerie offers suddenly. “For the books. And I can come too, if you want backup.”
The offer touches me deeply. Despite her reservations about Anthony, Valerie has never wavered in her support of me.
“Thanks, but I think this is something Anthony and I need to do together.” I glance at him for confirmation, and he nods slightly. “But the boxes would be great.”
“Consider it done.” She disappears into the back room, presumably to find suitable boxes for a library’s worth of books.
Mia looks between Anthony and me, concern evident in her eyes. “Just... be careful, okay? That place holds a lot of bad memories. You have PTSD, you may have flashbacks.”
“I do have some good memories there of my favorite books. But, maybe I can make some good ones on the way out,” I remind her, thinking of my library, of the books that kept me sane through years of Eli’s control.
Too bad the new memories can’t be of me burning it to the ground.
“The books helped me survive. They gave me somewhere else to go when I couldn’t physically leave. ”
Anthony’s thumb traces circles on the back of my hand. “And now they’re coming home with you. Where they belong.”
We take the car for a spin and grab a pick up sushi order from Akira sushi.
The rest of the day passes in a fog of anticipation and dread.
I go through the motions—printing, binding, helping customers, but my mind keeps drifting to the house.
Will it look the same? Will I see blood on the stairs, still?
Will I feel Eli’s presence lingering in the rooms like a ghost?
By closing time, my nerves are wound so tight I jump when Mia touches my shoulder.
“Hey,” she says gently. “Anthony’s waiting outside.”
I look up from the order I’ve been fumbling with for the past half hour. “Already?”
“Time flies when you’re having an anxiety attack,” she jokes, but her eyes are soft with concern. “You really don’t have to do this today.”
“I do, though.” I stand, gathering my purse and jacket. “If I don’t do it now, I’ll just keep finding reasons to put it off.”
Valerie appears with a stack of flattened boxes under her arm. “These should hold a decent number of books. Need help assembling them?”
“We’ve got it,” I assure her, taking the boxes. “Thanks, Val. For everything.”
She pulls me into a tight hug. “You call me if you need anything, okay? I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will,” I promise, throat suddenly tight with emotion.
Outside, Anthony waits beside my new Subaru, keys in hand. “Figured you might want me to drive,” he says, holding them out.
I shake my head, taking a deep breath. “No. I need to drive myself there. Take control of how this goes.”
He nods, understanding without needing explanation. “I’ll follow on the bike, then.”
As I slide into the driver’s seat, placing the folded boxes on the passenger side, I catch a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror. My eyes are steady, my jaw set with determination. This isn’t the same woman who fled through a window five months ago. That woman was broken, terrified.
This woman is driving herself back to face her demons, with the man she loves following behind. Not to rescue her, but to stand beside her while she rescues herself.
I start the engine, watching as Anthony mounts his motorcycle. The Subaru shifts colors in the late afternoon sun, blue to purple, and back again. Like me, changed by circumstance, but still fundamentally myself underneath.
It’s time to go get my books.