Olivia
‘I can’t believe you’re going to India!’ Kate took her hands off the steering wheel and clapped them together. ‘This is so exciting. Are you excited?’
‘Mmmm,’ she mumbled, tightening her grip on her rucksack, which sat heavy on her lap.
I’ve got you here with plenty of time! So much for the rush-hour traffic, hey?’
This is insane.
What are you doing?
You can’t do this!
Olivia felt the blood rush to her head. Her entire body began to sear with pins and needles.
‘Make sure you leave your coat with me in the car – you are not
going to want to be carrying that all the way to India,’ Kate babbled on.
I need to get out.
I need to get out right this second.
‘Stop the car,’ Olivia shouted.
‘What?’
‘I said, stop the car!’ she repeated, louder and more urgently than before.
‘We’re nearly here, give me a second. I just need to park.’
Olivia’s lungs felt tight, her throat narrowing so that not even a sip of air could find its way in.
‘Kate, if you don’t stop this car in the next ten seconds, I swear to God I’ll open the door and jump out of it.’
In a state of panic, Olivia reached for the handle.
‘OK, OK, I’m pulling in!’ Kate dutifully swung the car into one of the taxi drop-off lanes and turned the hazard lights on.
Olivia closed her eyes and let her spinning head fall forwards.
‘Are you all right?’ Kate slumped down in her seat so that her face was almost level with Olivia’s. ‘Talk to me – what’s going on?’
‘I don’t think I can do this. It’s too much. It’s all too much.’
‘Olivia?’ Kate whispered, leaning in closer.
‘I can’t. I can’t go out there.’
‘Olivia, I need you to look at me.’
Slowly but surely, Olivia raised her head, her knuckles white from gripping her bag so tightly.
‘Now,’ Kate began, sitting upright and rolling her shoulders back. ‘First and foremost, let’s be clear on one thing: it doesn’t matter how scared you are, you are never ever
going to threaten to jump out of the car while I’m driving again, OK?’ Her auburn eyebrows knitted sternly together.
Olivia nodded slowly, allowing a small bubble of laughter to escape her mouth. ‘OK.’
‘And secondly,’ Kate continued, ‘you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you really want me to, I will turn this car around and drive you straight back home, but …’ She placed a hand tentatively on top of Olivia’s. ‘Ask yourself, will you be able to live with yourself if I do?’
Olivia tore her eyes away from Kate’s and stared out of the window.
It had been hard enough to convince people she was going to go on this trip in the first place; could she face proving them all right?
And then, of course, there was Leah. Her precious baby sister.
What would she think? Olivia’s heart swelled at the very thought of her and her final words.
Do it for me, my darling, brave sister.
‘You’re right,’ she mumbled. ‘You’re totally right. I’m just scared.’
‘Obviously you’re scared, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. You’ll be fine, Olivia. If anyone can do this, it’s you.’
Her racing heart slowed a little at Kate’s comforting words.
‘Now, have you got everything? I know it’s a stupid question to ask you, but my mum always does this before I go anywhere and weirdly, it always calms me down.’
‘Yes, I’ve got everything.’
‘Passport?’
‘Yes.’
‘Boarding pass?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good.’ Kate thought for a moment. ‘Money?’
‘Can’t get that until I land.’
‘Right.’ She paused. ‘What else, what else …’ Her eyes flashed wide with excitement. ‘God, how could I forget? Do you have your itinerary?’
Olivia peered inside the smaller backpack on her lap.
There it was, in all its colour-printed, Excel-spreadsheeted glory.
A twenty-two-page breakdown of every single move she was going to make over the next three months.
How much she could spend. Where she would go.
How she would get there. It was a meticulously planned schedule that left no room for imagination or diversion.
It was the bible of her trip, and without it, her already sky-high anxiety would be stratospheric.
‘I’ve got a digital version on my phone, a paper copy here in my hand luggage, and another spare copy in my big rucksack,’ Olivia confirmed.
‘Well then, according to me, you’re all good to go!’
‘Great.’ Olivia unbuckled her seat belt slowly and began adjusting her top, desperately and not so subtly attempting to buy time. ‘I guess this is goodbye, then?’
‘Don’t be so dramatic. I’ll see you before you know it, and besides’ – her friend leant over and planted a huge kiss on her cheek – ‘I’ll be on WhatsApp and FaceTime constantly. It will be like you’ve never left me.’
‘Promise?’ The old Olivia would cringe at her neediness, but at this point she’d take all the reassurance she could get. Her legs had turned to lead, and her hands were shaking.
‘I promise. Now, as much as I love you and am going to miss you, I need you to get out of the car, because that security guard over there is looking pissed off that we’ve been
sitting in the taxi zone.’ Kate craned her neck to peer at a rather disgruntled-looking man in a high-vis jacket.
‘OK.’ Olivia took a deep breath and opened the car door. ‘I’ll message you when I’m on the plane.’
‘You’d better.’ Kate waggled a finger jokingly at her. ‘Now, remember, go and be adventurous and have the most wonderful time.’
Despite the tears welling in her eyes, Olivia forced a smile and heaved her gigantic rucksack from the back seat on to her shoulders; the weight of it threatening to topple her over.
She shut the car door and slowly turned towards the terminal entrance, her feet dragging as she began to walk across the pavement.
‘Go and kick Julia Roberts’s ass, and have the best time EVER!’ Kate’s voice bellowed out from behind.
Olivia turned and saw her friend waving frantically, like an overzealous mother, out of the car window, her wild, ginger hair blowing in the wind and her beaming smile stretching wide across her face.
Olivia’s cheeks burnt red with embarrassment, but her heart swelled for her friend, who was now unashamedly beeping her horn in a celebratory goodbye.
‘Stop it!
’ Olivia called back, tears pouring down her cheeks.
‘Why?’ Another long sound of the horn blasted out. ‘I’m sending you off in style.’
Olivia looked around and saw groups of travellers stopping to stare. Some of them were smiling kindly; others had a look of disapproval that she felt like a slap across the face. ‘People are staring
,’ she mouthed, jerking her head back towards the flurry of people.
‘And?’
Olivia should have known Kate wouldn’t let her go quietly.
‘And … I love you,’ Olivia cried.
‘I love you too,’ Kate yelled back, pulling the little Fiat 500 out of the space and disappearing down the road with one last beep of the horn.