Olivia #2
‘So …’ Her friend inched closer to her on the sofa. Olivia felt the pain that she had been holding back begin to seep through the cracks in her defences. ‘You want to tell me what’s going on?’
Olivia’s mind felt as though it had been pumped full of smoke: cloudy, impenetrable and completely disorientating. Jetlag and heartbreak were a potent combination.
Where the hell did she begin?
‘It’s Jacob …’
‘What’s happened? Is he OK?’ Kate placed a hand over hers. ‘Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?’
Yes. But I hurt him too …
‘Come on, Olivia, you have to give me something here. You were a complete state when you came through at the airport. Talk to me … please.’
Whatever else she was feeling towards Kate and Kyle and their new romantic dynamic, the look on her friend’s face and the touch of her hand finally broke Olivia.
‘Oh God,’ she cried, letting the tears free at last. ‘It’s so messed up.’
‘Hey, I’m sure whatever happened can be fixed. Nothing is ever that bad. Now’ – Kate wrapped Olivia up in her arms and held her closely – ‘tell me everything. From the very beginning.’
Olivia peeped her head out from the safety of her friend’s embrace and began to tell the whole story.
The surprise trip to the beach; the night they’d spent together.
The beautiful candlelit dinner, the champagne, the walk afterwards, and then the argument.
The fighting. The cruel words shot back and forth, scarring one another, hitting their marks where it hurt the most. If Kate was mad that Olivia had kept all this from her, she never showed it.
Instead, she sat, hand never leaving hers, listening in silence the entire time.
‘And …’ Olivia wiped her nose with the back of her other hand. ‘That’s how we left it. I haven’t heard from him since. There’s been nothing.’
‘Gosh, that’s a lot.’
‘I told you. It’s completely ruined.’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’ Kate tucked a loose strand of hair behind Olivia’s ear. ‘I know this might sound crazy, but have you thought of being the one to message him?’
Olivia jerked her head back in horror. ‘What?’
‘Look, you’d both had a bit too much to drink and you both
said hurtful things.’
‘He said worse.’
‘Maybe …’ Kate was evidently trying to navigate Olivia’s emotional landscape with caution. ‘And maybe he’s being a typical man and waiting for you to reach out to him.’
‘Well, then he’ll be waiting a long time.’
‘Come on
, Olivia, at least think about it.’ Kate cradled her cheek with her hand. ‘He clearly means a lot to you; do you want this to be how it ends?’
‘I don’t know.’ She shrugged. ‘Some of the things he said …’
‘Were completely and totally out of order. But remember, it was in the heat of the moment, and we all say things we don’t mean. Even you.’
The truth of her friend’s words sat like a weight on Olivia’s chest. She had said a whole host of terrible, unforgivable things. Yes, she was hurt, and yes, she was feeling rejected. Did that justify her saying whatever she liked? Was she any more innocent than him?
‘I wouldn’t know what to say.’
‘How about you start with “Hello and I’m sorry”?’
Olivia reluctantly reached for her phone and opened her emails. The minuscule spark of hope that his message would be waiting for her was put out instantly.
You can do this. You know you want to do this …
‘I can’t do this,’ she announced, her anxiety spiking so high she felt sick. ‘Not now anyway. I think I need to go to bed and sleep before I try to write anything. Do you mind?’
‘Of course I don’t mind.’ Kate stood and gathered her belongings. ‘But let’s talk tomorrow – there’s a lot we need to catch up on.’
Olivia saw the angst on her friend’s face. Punishing her and prolonging the awkward conversation was unfair. At the end of the day, Kate was the closest thing to a sister she had left.
‘Are you happy?’ she asked. ‘With Kyle, I mean.’
Kate’s face dropped, her expression horrified. ‘Oh my god, was it that obvious?’
‘I’m jetlagged, heartbroken and in a McDonald’s coma, and I still noticed. So yeah, I’d say pretty obvious.’
‘Fuck
. I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you as soon as I saw you, but then you were upset, and we didn’t know what to
do.’ She clawed at her mane of hair. ‘I’m such a bad friend, aren’t I?’
‘No, you’re not. In fact, you’re the very best. And all I want is for you to be happy. Are you happy?’
A bashful smile crept up on her face, the same smile that Olivia had probably worn a hundred times when she was with Jacob.
‘Yeah, in a weird and unexpected and totally out of the blue way, I am. And nothing has even happened yet – I mean, we’ve just been talking loads, that’s all. I said I had to speak to you before we even went on a date. I promise.’
The fierce and undying loyalty of her friend mended a tiny piece of Olivia’s broken heart instantly. ‘Thank you, I appreciate that.’
‘So you’re not mad?’
‘I’m not mad.’
‘You’re sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure.’
‘Thank God.’ Kate exhaled, as though at last she could finally breathe. ‘Like I said, we can talk about it properly another time. For now, just focus on sleeping and feeling a bit more human.’ She kissed the top of Olivia’s head. ‘I love you, and whatever happens, you will be OK.’
‘I know, and I love you too.’
The moment the door closed and Olivia was alone, she shut her eyes and let the full force of her feelings hit her.
You will be OK. We’re always OK.
She looked down at her phone once more, before shoving it under the cushion and heading straight to bed.