Chapter Six #2
Not safe , his nervous heart whispered. Not safe at all.
DANIKA: Can I tell my sisters we re faking it?
She texted like she talked: no hellos or good-byes, no context. There was no reason for that to make Zaf smile, so he rubbed a hand over his beard and forced himself to frown instead. Yeah. Much better.
ZAF: If you think you need to.
DANIKA: Oh, good, because I already did.
His laughter bounced around the walls of his dark, empty bedroom.
DANIKA: How long is this whole arrangement supposed to last, anyway?
For some reason, his gut response was forever . Ha. Not fucking likely.
ZAF: My niece reckons we should milk it, but I think interest will die down quickly. People have better shit to do. Let s say . . . a month, to be safe?
DANIKA: Oh, so now your niece is on in this? Corrupting innocents, hmm?
ZAF: Hard to corrupt a mastermind.
DANIKA: Well, damn. Fair enough. And a month sounds doable. By the way, shouldn t you be asleep right now?
ZAF: Probably. Shouldn t you?
DANIKA: Working. This is my breaktime entertainment. So try to be more entertaining.
He snorted, shaking his head. Working at this time? Of course she was.
ZAF: Anyone ever tell you you re really up yourself?
DANIKA: Of course they have. You told me about a month after we met.
That one left him staring at the screen for a while. She remembered random things he d said a month after they met? Maybe he d upset her, and it had stuck in her head. Or maybe not, because the phone beeped, and another text appeared.
DANIKA: You ve never seemed to mind it, though, so don t start now.
It must be exhaustion-or perhaps it was the possibility that the wrong answer might hurt her feelings. Whatever the reason, Zaf found himself typing recklessly and sending without thought.
ZAF: I don t. I like it.
DANIKA: My sisters saw the video and they think you like ME.
He swallowed. His eyes felt heavy all of a sudden. Maybe it was eye strain, maybe it was surprise sleepiness, or maybe his body was trying to send him into hibernation so he wouldn t have to deal with this embarrassment. Was the fact he had a thing for her that obvious?
ZAF: I do like you. You re my fake girlfriend.
A pathetic half lie, but what was he supposed to do?
Admit her smile gave him butterflies, and force her to let him down gently?
She d told him loud and clear she didn t do that kind of thing.
Friendship and faking it, that was all he should want from Danika-all he did want from Danika, because he knew what was good for him.
But then the memory of her mouth smacked him over the head, and he thought about her dazed, hot-treacle eyes the moment after they d kissed, and .
. . She d said she enjoyed it. Did that mean she wanted more?
Would he give her more, if she asked? No, he shouldn t.
Zaf might not practice his religion, but he d grown up believing sex meant something.
He still believed that. Some people could do casual, but it would probably melt his brain.
Then again, you don t know until you try.
Ah, shit.
DANIKA: I thought as much. Breaktime s over now. I give your entertainment value 6/10.
ZAF: I m offended.
DANIKA: Keep that fire burning. Hopefully it will motivate you to do better next time.
Next time came three hours later. He was still awake, turning her-all of her-over in his mind, when the phone chirped again.
DANIKA: If you answer this, I ll be deeply worried for your sleep cycle.
He was already grinning as he picked up the phone.
ZAF: Be worried, then. I m worried about how long you work between breaks.
DANIKA: Be worried, then.
He was laughing when the phone rang, her name lighting up the screen.
Dani was propped up at her desk, staring sightlessly at her panel notes, listening to the phone s soothing dial tone and trying not to stumble into sleep.
Tiredness wasn t great for mental processing: she knew this.
But she also wanted- needed -to kill the upcoming feminist lit panel, and since it was a discussion rather than an essay or presentation, there was no knowing what kind of research it might require.
So she would complete all the research, just to be sure.
If there was one thing Dani could excel at, it was this.
Inez Holly would not catch her stuttering, no, sir.
But even now, self-conscious awareness hummed at the back of her mind like the low murmur of students before a lecture began.
That awareness reminded her, completely unprovoked, that if she had someone waiting for her in the bedroom down the hall, they d feel annoyed or neglected right now.
They d lose their patience and their temper.
They d try to persuade Dani away from her tried and tested process, as if they knew what was best for her, and if she refused, they d ask snide questions about whether her degrees would marry her and love her in her old age.
Unless they were sweet like Zaf. If they were sweet like Zaf, they d probably talk her into bed with gentle, teasing comments. And if they were heavy like Zaf, they d pin her down in a big soft hug, and she wouldn t even be able to sneak off once they fell asleep, and then she d have to rest . . .
Which sounded awful and was one of the many reasons she preferred to keep potential fuck buddies on the other end of the phone, instead of nestling them into her life.
Speaking of, she must conscript Zaf to the cause soon.
Preparing for the symposium was proving extremely stressful, and as she d learned today, his mouth was a magical tool of distraction.
When he picked up, his voice was deep and sleep-roughened, and it shot straight to her clit. Of course, everything about him shot straight to Dani s clit, just like champagne shot to her head.
Hey, he said, all raspy and gorgeous and ugh . Let me guess. You re working. There was a smile in his voice-no scolding exasperation or heavy disappointment to be found. Almost as if he was amused, rather than annoyed, by her unsociable hours.
Yep, she confirmed. Working. But now that she had Zaf on the phone, work didn t seem half as interesting as getting on his nerves. Hmm. Unfulfilled lust was a funny thing.
Studying in the middle of the night, he groused, fondness lacing each word. I don t know how you look so pretty all the time. I come to work every morning looking like I ve got two black eyes.
The word pretty sent a childish thrill of pleasure through her, which was mortifying, because Dani wasn t in the habit of caring about who called her pretty.
If she did, she might also have to care about who called her ugly, and when you were a woman-especially a black woman on the chubbier side-that was never a good idea.
The only opinions she valued on that score were her own.
But there seemed no harm in murmuring, Pretty, am I?
Don t start. You know you re a knockout. He paused, clearly considering. Unless you don t, and you d like me to tell you. As a friend.
No, no, she said quickly-because he would tell her if she asked.
He would tell her in that quiet, rumbling voice, calm and steady and unembarrassed, just to make her feel good about herself.
And this weird melting feeling in her middle, as if her insides were spilling out and leaking everywhere, might get even worse.
God forbid. As an extra layer of protection, she added, For future reference, there s never any need to emphasize my attractiveness.
As you say, it s already an established fact.
He laughed, the sound sinking into her skin, spilling over tight, tense muscles.
As for my lack of dark shadows, she went on, trying to sound casual, it s concealer. Google it.
Hmm. Maybe my niece will lend me some.
She exhaled, smiled. It was kind of adorable how often he mentioned his niece. Good luck. But you know, there is an alternative to makeup.
Yeah?
Indeed. It s called sleep, and at this time of night, most people are doing it. Why are you up so late? Maybe he was busy, too. Maybe he valued his work in the same way Dani did, and maybe, because of that, he d understand certain things and-
He grunted. No reason. I don t always sleep that great.
Ah. She dragged her teeth over her lower lip, that softly delivered news making her chest ache. Something on your mind?
Something on yours, he asked, since you called?
If Dani bothered to observe things about people, she might note that Zaf had a singular talent for steering subject changes.
I try to take a five-minute rest break every thirty minutes, she told him.
Although time occasionally gets away from me.
I thought, since you re up, and we have things to talk about-
You re bestowing your five minutes on little old me? I ve never been so flattered.
She laughed. That s not the reaction I usually get.
Most people wanted more from her, hungry for bites she didn t have to spare.
Dani wasn t good at this sort of thing-at making people feel like they mattered.
But according to the universe, Zaf was her perfect fuck buddy-so of course he wouldn t mind. He probably didn t care enough to mind.
He sounded like he cared, though. Is that right? he murmured, the smile in his voice replaced by something cautious and concerned. What reaction do you usually get, Danika?
Dani decided that changing the subject had just become a matter of urgency. Oh, you know, she managed, and wiped the question away with an airy laugh. Never mind all that. How goes the publicity thing? What does a fake relationship involve, anyway?
There was a slight pause. She bit her lip and hoped for the best. Zaf gave it to her.
Er . . . I sent a few lines to the Nottingham Post , since you re okay with it.
And I guess those kids took a picture of us- talking in the car park, he said, because he was adorable, which got the hashtag trending again.
One-time donations are through the roof, so all the attention really is working.
She detected a faint note of wonder in his voice that made her want to squish his cheeks and kiss his forehead.
Fortunately, he wasn t in the room, so she was saved from the horror of actually following that impulse.
I got an email from BuzzFeed Sports, too, he said, sounding pleased.
They sent me some questions to answer. Everything s amazing, Dan. And it s because of you, obviously.
She made a gagging sound. Don t start getting emotional.
Piss off. Let me say thank you.
Zaf, don t, I ll be sick. You don t want me to be sick.
Fuck you, then, he said, but there was laughter in his voice. As for the fake relationship-we don t have to kiss in any more car parks.
She was going to say, What if we want to? , but that sort of thing should probably be saved for face-to-face communication. Wouldn t want him to misunderstand her intentions.
I was thinking we should just have lunch together, he went on, and try to . . . you know. Flirt.
Try to flirt? Because we re so out of practice.
She could almost hear his blush through the phone. We don t flirt.
If that s what you think, I really need to brush up on my skills.
Judging by the strangled sound he made, Zaf appeared to be having some sort of mental crisis. You mean . . . we . . . do flirt?
Well, I try my best. You can be difficult, sometimes. Dani stood up as he spluttered through a response, wandering around her flat s living room to stretch her legs.
I thought-I thought you were joking, he said finally.
She wouldn t want his head to explode, so she said, Yes, of course I was joking.
He exhaled.
I was jokingly expressing the fact that you re mind-blowingly hot. So, lunch. Flirting. Anything else? Adorable selfies, et cetera?
Fuck, no. You sound like my niece. Fatima told me social media crazes are a flash in the pan, and if we want to make the most of it we should consider starting a YouTube channel. His disgust practically dripped from the words.
And you said?
Absolutely fucking not.
Dani s lips had been twitching as she asked the question; now she laughed outright.
Of course you did. If the words sounded a little too fond and familiar, oh, well.
It was the middle of the night and he was being unforgivably cute.
Your niece is clearly a smart girl. And the eucalyptus by Dani s window, for freedom and prosperity, was looking a little parched.
She headed to the kitchenette to get it some water, her feet padding against the floorboards.
Yeah, Fatima s smart. You teach her, you know.
I do? Dani frowned as she filled her little watering can, then remembered a new student with huge, dark eyes. Oh . Fatima Ansari. Of course you re related. She looks just like you.
A slight silence as Dani went to water the plant. Then, a moment before it got awkward, Zaf said quietly, Nah. She looks like her dad.
Your brother, is he?
Mm-hmm. Zaf s tone went from distant and distracted to light and teasing so fast Dani felt slightly whiplashed. She thinks you re sophisticated. That s what she said to me. Everything Dani does is so sophisticated.
Poor, deluded girl.
Ain t she just. Sweet exasperation crept into his tone, a gleaming thread that said, I know what a chaos demon you are, and I think it s great.
Dani tried not to beam in response. That would be ridiculous. She watered her eucalyptus, put down her can, heard the beep of her five-minute timer, and realized with a jolt that her break had vanished like smoke.
Oh, she said, I have to-it s-
Five minutes. I know. But there was no irritation in Zaf s voice, no resentment. He was probably relieved to know she d get off the phone now and let him sleep.
She, surprisingly, wasn t relieved at all. In fact, the thought of putting down the phone made her feel slightly sad and deflated. For a moment, something in her leaned toward him like a cooped-up plant growing desperately toward the sun, and-
And good Lord, she must be exhausted. Dani shook her head, frowned, and considered going to bed earlier than planned.
My lunch break starts at twelve thirty tomorrow, Zaf said, oblivious to her spiraling thoughts. That work for you?
I think so. I ll text you if anything changes. Otherwise . . . meet you at the food court?
All right, he said. Goodnight, Danika.
Go to sleep!
He grunted and hung up.
Only when he was gone did Dani realize she d barely tried to seduce him at all.