Chapter Seven #3
Those words were a wake-up call, swooping in to save her from herself. Sorry, she said brightly. No soap-opera sob story here, mostly because I m humanly incapable of sobbing. Superior tear ducts, you understand.
Mm-hmm. Zaf nodded. Obviously. Mechanical heart, too.
Got it in one. I was just curious about how relationships work when you re a hopeless romantic. She waited for him to deny that judgment, wondering if he d respond with sarcasm or maybe some masculine bluster. There was a first time for everything, after all.
Instead, he watched her steadily. Right, he murmured, his dark eyes piercing, and suddenly she felt as if he d stripped off all her clothes in the middle of the library. And not in a sexy way.
She pushed the feeling away, replacing it with a flirtatious confidence that was as easy as breathing. If you ever want to know how I do things, she purred, just ask.
He didn t flush, didn t stutter or change the subject. He didn t bite, either, didn t smirk or sway closer. No, Zaf just shook his head, squeezed the back of her neck, and said, Behave yourself, trouble.
Dani blinked. She had the oddest feeling something about their sexual balance had irreversibly changed, and not necessarily in her favor.
Well. Good for Zaf.
Let s eat, he said, as if nothing had happened. His hand left the back of her neck, and he turned to riffle through a bag she hadn t noticed before. No protein bars. Promise.
She bit her lip. I like your protein bars.
Thought they tasted like cardboard?
I like them, she repeated stubbornly, because it was true, and because she was gripped by the unnerving worry that he might stop giving them to her.
Although, why that thought should make her worry, she had no earthly idea.
All her feelings were wonky and sideways at the minute.
Maybe it had something to do with her nerves about the panel, or her poor, neglected vagina, or both.
Glad to hear it, he said cheerfully, because I ll blend them into mush and spike your green tea if necessary.
Now, he muttered, almost to himself, let s see.
Out of his mysterious plastic bag came a bottle of water, which she grabbed so greedily, she almost missed the rest: wrapped bagels from the union, little pots of fruit and yogurt, crisps and Maltesers.
Zaf, she whispered, you do know we re not allowed to eat in here?
So we ll do it until someone throws us out. You re hungry, my break s almost over, and -he gave her a significant look, his voice dropping to a whisper- we have to eat together because we re madly in love and all that shit.
Oh, right. Of course. Dani shuffled her chair closer to his, just so any photos that wound up online would accurately convey how thrillingly intimate they were. Couple goals, and so on and so forth. Milking it, et cetera, et cetera. How was your day, er, baby?
He arched an eyebrow. Baby? Can t decide if that s better or worse than me calling you babe that one time.
Oh, shut up. This is the sort of thing couples say.
I bet it is, doll tits.
Her cheeks heated. Except that. No one says that.
Are you sure? he asked mildly.
Yes, I m sure, sugar cock.
Zaf spluttered, then burst into a coughing fit.
Dani was searching for another name that might cause a similarly adorable reaction when a gaggle of ruddy-faced, thick-necked boys-undergrads, if she had to guess-appeared out of nowhere.
They chose a desk opposite Dani s, dragging spare seats from neighboring tables, ignoring the glares of other occupants as chair legs scraped over the floor.
After sitting down in a muttering, giggling group, they proceeded to stare, starry-eyed, at Zaf and tap away on their phones with obvious intent.
One boy turned to shove another s shoulder after a particularly loud guffaw, and Dani caught sight of the lettering on the back of his blue jacket: NGU RUGBY .
Oh, good, she whispered. I do believe your acolytes have found us.
Zaf rolled his eyes. I doubt any of them had even heard of me before last week.
Honestly, Zafir, you re so grumpy you could create your own storm clouds. Entire countries would pay good money to use your services, I m sure.
What can I say? It s a natural talent.
Or maybe it s lack of sleep, she pointed out, then wanted to kick herself. It was none of Dani s business if he stayed up until all hours of the night. She was nobody s mother, thank you very much.
You re telling me to sleep? Woman, you just passed out in a library.
She blushed. It s a very restful environment!
I ve heard beds are even better.
I don t want to talk about beds with you, Zaf. Not right now, anyway, because it wouldn t do to spontaneously combust in public.
But then it occurred to her that in public was the perfect time to push things, just a little.
Because if everything went horribly wrong, and he wasn t interested in what she had to offer, Dani could claim she d been faking it.
Genius . Suddenly the boys at college who d once texted her messages like Be my gf?
Haha, JK. Unless . . . ? seemed like bold pioneers instead of irritating gnats.
So she murmured the tragic truth with a teasing smile. Too much bed discussion could tip me over the edge. Next thing you know, I ll be ravishing you on this undoubtedly unsanitary carpet.
Apparently, he hadn t expected that, because for a moment, his face was blank as a new Word document. Dani bit her lip, wondering how he d respond, and barely noticed the increase in whispers from their excitable observers at the next desk.
Then Zaf s surprise melted into an expression she could only call hunger .
Without warning, he grabbed the leg of her chair and jerked it-jerked Dani -closer.
The breath left her lungs, and by the time she remembered how to inhale again, her seat was trapped, sideways, between his spread thighs.
His arm rested over the back of the chair, and she felt its heat against her shoulders.
His mouth was perilously close to her cheek, and when he finally spoke, his voice was low and rough and changed , and it rasped over her skin the way his hands would.
Tell me what it is you want from me, Danika. Explain it to me. Slow.
For someone so repelled by relationships, Dani sure had a lot of questions about them. But then, for someone who wasn t interested in casual sex, Zaf sure struggled with telling her to knock this innuendo bullshit off.
He didn t want her to knock it off.
Maybe he was imagining the way she looked at him sometimes, like he was a surprise, scary but special all at once.
And maybe he was imagining the vulnerability in her, too, glittering beneath her surface like fragments of gold underwater.
The problem was-call him reckless, call him led by his dick, call him a hopeless romantic, but he wanted to believe in it.
He wanted it so badly that he dragged her closer and asked her straight.
Tell me what it is you want from me, Danika. Explain it to me. Slow.
Her teeth grazed the soft, plump flesh of her lower lip, and he felt the action in his fucking balls.
Her gaze flicked over to the boys watching them, then back to Zaf.
She spoke so quietly he barely heard her.
I want to sleep with you, Zafir. Don t take it personally, though.
Her smile was painfully sexy and as sharp as an arrow. It certainly burst his bubble.
No. You ve always known how she operates. Don t be disappointed with the sun for setting.
Zaf took a breath as his hopes rearranged themselves into common sense.
So Dani had nothing more than sex on the brain-he d have been foolish to expect anything different, and Zaf refused to be a fool.
Here was the bottom line: she wanted him back, at least in one way, and that was hot enough to singe his doubts.
Everything in life didn t have to be black-and-white, did it?
There was something between searching for happily ever after and outright celibacy, wasn t there?
He certainly fucking hoped so, because it had been a year since his last relationship and right now his dick was so hard, he felt like it might break. Which definitely couldn t be healthy.
He leaned closer to Dani, mostly to make sure his hard-on was hidden by the shadows between them. But the arm he d rested on the back of her chair brushed her shoulders, and she sucked in a breath at the contact.
His focus on her sharpened, and he saw a lust in her eyes that felt as animal as his.
She was beautiful, her chest moving with each heavy exhalation, her plump lips parted, the tip of her tongue wet and pink between her teeth.
Honey-brown irises swallowed up by hungry, black pupils, her nostrils flaring, her hands gripping the desk.
Coming apart at the seams right in front of him, each of her unraveled threads wrapping around him like silk.
Fuck it. Fuck overthinking, fuck playing it safe, fuck saying no when the yes on the tip of his tongue had never tasted so good.
He was going to fuck her, and they were both going to enjoy it, and that would be enough.
It would have to be enough. He would make it enough, because the roar of lust in him right now was louder than his usual feelings about sex. Wasn t it?
You can t do this, Zafir, said a voice in the back of his head. He pretended that voice was anxiety instead of reason, and shoved it out a window.
Then he ran a fingertip over her jaw, savoring the way her lashes fluttered and her gaze grew heavy. For him. She wanted him, bad enough that the ghost of a whimper fell from her lips, and holy fuck, it d be a miracle if he left this library without coming all over himself.
Don t do that. Seriously, don t do that . The administration might be disinterested in DrRugbae so far, but they d definitely pay attention if he jizzed in his pants on university property.
Zaf let go of her and turned away to catch his breath, focusing on the food they d abandoned on the table.
Later, he told her quietly. His own voice sounded alien to him, rough as sandpaper and thick with suffocating need.
He stole a glance at the group of boys a table away, just to remind himself they were there.
That did the trick. The reckless fist of desire squeezing his brain eased its grip, and he could think clearly again.
Later, Dani echoed, her voice high and faint. He couldn t look at her. He couldn t. But that voice tightened the coil of need in his stomach.
Tonight, after work, he decided, then picked up his bagel. Bread was boring. Bread would help.
I can t, she said.
Fuck .
I told my sisters we d have dinner together, and I-I don t cancel on my sisters.
Warm, sweet fondness flooded his blood, softening the bite of disappointment. Danika, he d noticed, loved her sisters. A lot. Enough to remind Zaf of his brother, of the way they d been, thick as thieves despite a seven-year age gap, together forever until the day they weren t.
Tomorrow, then, he said softly. Have dinner with your sisters. And give me tomorrow.
He wouldn t waste it.