Epilouge #4
Another turn, taken at random, and she struck gold. Up ahead, guarded by a grand oak tree and fenced in by an old, low wall of moss-covered stone, was an impressive redbrick Victorian with a wine-red sign outside that read CASTELL COTTAGE. EXCELLENT ACCOMMODATION, DELICIOUS CUISINE .
She was feeling better already.
Actually, that was a categorical lie. But she would feel better, once she ate, and took a moment to think, and generally stopped her drama queen behavior.
Eve threw the car into the nearest sort-of parking space-well, it was an empty spot by the pavement, so it would do-and cut off her music.
Then she slipped in an AirPod, chose a new song- Shut Up and Groove, Masego-to match her new determinedly positive mood, and pressed Play.
Flipping down the car s mirror, she dabbed at her red eyes and grimaced at her bare mouth.
Her waist-length braids, lavender and brown, were still tied back in a bedtime knot.
She set them free to spill over her shoulders, then rifled through her glove box and found a glittery, orange Chanel lip gloss.
There. She smiled at her reflection. Much better.
When in doubt, throw some color at it. Satisfied, she got out of the car and approached the cute little countryside restaurant thingy through softly falling drizzle.
Only when she reached the grand front door, which had yet another sign pinned over it, did she notice what she d missed the first time.
CASTELL COTTAGE. BED AND brEAKFAST .
Eve checked her watch and discovered that it was now far from breakfast time.
Gabriel s burning bollocks, you have got to be kidding me. She glared at her warped reflection in the front door s little stained-glass window. Has the trauma of the morning s events killed off your last remaining brain cells, Eve? Is that it?
Her reflection did not reply.
She let out a hangry little growl and started to turn-when a laminated notice pinned up beside the door caught her eye.
CHEF INTERVIEWS: FIRST DOOR ON THE RIGHT .
Well, now. That was rather interesting. So interesting, in fact, that Eve s witchy sister Dani would likely call this literal sign . . . a sign .
Of course, Eve wasn t Dani, so she simply called it a coincidence.
Or an opportunity, she murmured slowly.
Eve, after all, could cook. She was forced to do so every day in order to survive, and she was also quite good at it, having entertained brief fantasies of opening a Michelin-starred restaurant before watching an episode of Hell s Kitchen and developing a Gordon Ramsay phobia.
Of course, despite her private efforts, she had never actually cooked professionally before-unless one considered her ill-advised foray into 3D genital cakes cooking.
Still, the more she thought about it, the more this seemed like the perfect job for her.
Wedding planning had been too satisfying, too exhilarating, the kind of career she could easily fall in love with-which meant that when she inevitably failed at it, she d be left broken.
But cooking at some small-town bed and breakfast?
She certainly couldn t fall in love with that.
Your father and I would like you to hold down a job for at least a year before we restart your trust fund payments.
Her parents didn t think she could get a job on her own and clearly doubted her ability to keep one.
They thought she needed supervision for every little thing, and if she was honest with herself, Eve understood why.
But that didn t stop their doubt from biting like too-small leather boots.
So, securing her own job the day she left home?
And also, quite conveniently, not having to return home with her tail between her legs after this morning s tantrum-like disappearance? That all sounded ideal, actually.
One year to prove herself. She could do that. In fact, Eve knew better than anyone that she could do anything.
She opened the door.
Contrary to popular belief, Jacob Wayne did not create awkward situations on purpose.
Take right now, for example: he didn t mean to subject his latest interviewee to a long, glacial pause that left the other man pale and jittery.
But Simon Fairweather was a certified prick and his answers to Jacob s carefully considered interview questions were nothing less than a shit show.
With each meaningless response, Jacob felt himself growing even colder and more distant than usual.
Perfect conditions for the birth of an accidental awkward pause.
Simon stared at Jacob. Jacob stared at Simon.
Simon began to fidget. Jacob reflected on how bloody irritating he found this man and did nothing to control the derisive curl of his lip.
Simon started, disturbingly, to sweat. Jacob was horrified, both by the rogue DNA rolling down Simon s temples and by his obvious lack of spine.
Then Jacob s best friend (all right, only friend) Montlake heaved out a sigh and leapt into the breach. Cheers, Simon, he said. That ll be all, mate. We ll get back to you.
That s true, Jacob allowed calmly, because it was. He watched in silence as Simon scrambled up from his chair and exited the room, nodding and stuttering all the while.
Pitiful, Jacob muttered. As the dining room door swung shut, he wrote two careful words on his notepad: FUCK. EVERYTHING.
Not his most adult choice, granted, but it seemed more mature than flipping the goddamn table.
Beside him, Montlake cleared his throat. All right. Don t know why I m bothering to ask, but . . . Thoughts on Simon?
Jacob sighed. Are you sure you want to know?
Probably not. Montlake rolled his eyes and tapped his pen against his own notepad.
He, Jacob noticed, had written a load of intelligent, sensible shit about today s applicants, complete with bullet points.
Once upon a time, Jacob had been capable of intelligence and bullet points, too.
Just last week, in fact. But then he d been forced to sit through the seven-day-straight parade of incompetence these interviews had become, and his brain had melted out of his fucking ears.
Well, Mont went on, here s what I put: Simon s got a lot of experience, but he doesn t seem the sharpest tool. Bit cocky, but that means he ll eventually be confident enough to handle that thing you do.
Jacob narrowed his eyes and turned, very slowly, to glare at his friend. And what thing is that, Montlake?
That thing, Bitchy McBitcherson, Mont said cheerfully. You re a nightmare when you re panicking.
I m a nightmare all the time. This is my ordinary nightmare behavior. Panic , Jacob scowled, is for the underprepared, the out-of-control, and the fatally inconsistent.
Yeah, so I ve heard. From you. Every time you re panicking.
Jacob wondered if today would be the day he murdered his best friend and decided, after a moment, that it was entirely possible. The hospitality industry had been known to drive men to far worse. Like plastic shower curtains and brown carpets.
To lessen the risk of imminent homicide, Jacob pushed the fine frames of his glasses up his nose, rose to his feet, and began to pace the B B s spacious dining room, circling the antique table that took up its center. Whatever. And you re wrong about Simon-he isn t right for Castell Cottage.
You don t think anyone s right for Castell Cottage, Mont said dryly. That s kind of why I m here. Voice of reason, and all that.
Actually, you re here because you re a respected local business owner, and proper interviews need more than one perspective, and-
What s wrong with Simon? Montlake interrupted.
He s a creep.
Mont, who had a habit of leaning everywhere-probably something to do with his ridiculous height and the natural effects of gravity-sat up straight for once. Who told you that? The twins?
A reasonable assumption, since Mont s sisters were the only women in town who actually spoke to Jacob-aside from Aunt Lucy, of course. No one told me. Just watch the guy some time. Women bend over backward to avoid being alone with him.
Christ, Mont muttered, and ripped a page out of his notepad.
All right. I know you hated the first two, and you ve written off all the previous candidates.
He paused significantly. If he was waiting for Jacob to feel bad or something, he d be waiting a long fucking time. So that leaves us with Claire Penny.
Nope, Jacob said flatly. Don t want her.
He stopped mid-pace, noticing that one of the paintings on the aubergine wall-a landscape commissioned from a local artist-was slightly crooked.
Scowling, he stalked over and adjusted it.
Bloody doors banging all day, knocking things out of whack, that was the reason.
Can t have a chef who slams my doors, he muttered darkly.
Doesn t create a restful atmosphere. Bastards.
Is that the issue with Claire?
What? Oh. Jacob shook his head and went back to his pacing. Claire knows how to shut a door properly, so far as I can tell. But she smiles too much. No one smiles that much. Pretty sure she s on drugs.
Mont gave Jacob the dirty look to end all dirty looks, which was a natural skill of his. You can t be serious.
I m always serious.
She s sixty-four years old.
Jacob rolled his eyes. You think people stop making bad decisions when they hit sixty? Nope. Anyway, you remember before I left for the city, she used to work at Jimmy s? I ordered a slice of her apple pie once, and there was a hair in it.
That s why you don t want to invite her back?
Jacob frowned at his friend. Why are you using your Jacob s being unreasonable voice? I don t want hairy pie, Montlake. Do you want hairy pie? Because if you re that hot for hairy pie, I will make you a hairy pie.
You couldn t pay me to eat your cooking, which is kind of why we re here.
Mont scrubbed a hand over his face and screwed his eyes shut for a second.
Come on, man. You left five years ago. You think she hasn t learned how to wear a hairnet in five years?
Call her back, let her cook for us, give her a chance.
No. Jacob knew he sounded like a dick. He knew even Mont, who got him better than everyone, probably thought he was being a dick. But sometimes it was easier to keep his thought processes to himself because other people either had trouble following them, or thought they were unnecessarily blunt.
Bluntness was never unnecessary.